what else is new...

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOW!!!!

1. Black Friday a week early (old people?) 2. Afghanistan (banastan) 3. iCarly  4. Emma Watson (so very lame) 5. Joan Baez (sing it Joan-ie!!!) 6. Brett Favre (OFFS, stop worrying about him and HE WILL go away.. .) 7. Stonehenge (yeah, it rocks)  8. Jack Black  (Tenaious D rocks) 9. Android phone (call me!~)

10. Pet owls (no f~ing way that idiots are actually thinking that an owl would make a good pet??? ikr? yup they are for the real skinny go here)

     Yesterday was quite a day. Well, not in any kind of earth changing way, cuz i did not invent a drug to eliminate assholism or find the cure for cancer in toe-toe jam. Nothing quite as spectacular as that. nope. most of life is relative to what you expect and what you deliver and often times a rather large hole  is between the two.

     The TuckMonster and i did however participate in ManCave Thursday so we have that going for us. i came back from MCT and posted the Candid trilogy, which if you missed it shame on you, cuz it was fun. the great thing is you can access the last five blogs at the top of the page and catch up on the most important of all bloggering news in my little hemisphere of...influence.

     i know you are all wondering what it is that could be so f-ing important to have to wait so long to find out. i have to write something, and i cannot ever seem to just say a tidbit when i can write a novel, but here goes...

ready for the let down???

...Jus' Sayin'...

friday between both blogs i had over100 hits...here and here i know that is not much, but that means 100 other people besides me actually looked and my blogs... 

(notice how i cleverly linked you back to my blog with the first link? yeah, i'm the king of  CircularBloggerence ....)

   please note that i only have 19 followers (18 on jadip and 3 on EvilTwin = 21, yeah i know but i follow jadip -1, one follower is two people-1)  between both of these blogs so...i f-ing rock...or there are about 81 really disappointed people out there asking for their money back...

 no refunds or exchanges!!!

thematic photography 124 candid..v1...

 TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!!

1. DA BEARS(suck) 2. Bristol Pailn (seriously, who names their kid Bristol? are their other kids Meyers and Squibb?) 3, Kraft Mac n Cheese (and not because i just had some) 4. Pig flu and Bird Flu  (got shot?) 5.Lady Antebellum's big rip-off (uh,no. it was *sampling*) 6. Sarah Palin...refudiation (StupidPalin and the Refudiation Band) 7. TSA (getting ditched?) 8.Ohio mystery (seriously? three bodies in a tree? WTF?)

9. New Zealand Coal Mine Disaster (prayers please)

10. Germany (next terror target?)

                                                                                                                                                                                   

i am watching you...

and i see you..

candidly        

assessing the situation...

to wit

darkened eye(s)

and opened eye...     

shuttering and shuddering...              

click click...   

goes my eye to                                                   

capture

with rapture

 use aperature

                      a moment  

                         forever in time...                         

                                with a third eye

see the can...

the can is sitting

on the dock

waiting.....tick tock...

pop (d) top

waiting...tick tock

wanting

waiting....tick tock

wanting

waiting...tick tick

see the can on the dock.

see what?

              see what!

                                        see what?!

                                                                the can did???                                        

                                                                                           candid!!!!!                                

see more really CANDID and cool pics at Carmi's blog thematic phots stuff....

and offs, get invovled...next week the TuckMonster is doing one as well...

def.in.i.tion

    TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NOOOOO!!!!

1. Christina Aguilera  2. Black Friday ads (better get used to this) 3.Amy Winehouse ((gettin' drunk again)

4. Rachel Zoe  5. Harry Potter (who cares) 6. Mario Lopez  7. George H. W. Bush (did he die?why else would anyone be searching for him?)  8. Beaujolais Nouveuea  9. Credit check  10. Stock ticker (ticker shock?)

    Every time I post a comment, to a blog and it is not a rarity, I have to enter in some stupid captcha or whateverthef they call them...being a the foremost blogocryptologist I have decided to interpret and define some of these words...this is this weeks sample in...

A NEW FEATURE!!!

called... 

CapturedCaptcha's

hipotlin   fr bloggerese   (hip o tlin) A naturally occurring substance found in the excrement of hypocrites. *Although "Huge"  had no cancerous cells around his anus, his head had significant levels of hipotlin*

thoingl   fr bloggerese   (thoing l)  The part of a thong that actually touches the taint. *Damn, my thong broke at the thoingl; looks like its PantiesFree Thursday

rutgrat   fr bloggerese   (rut grat) The stuff that collects on your shoes when you are walking the rut (doing your job). *I had to throw out the last pair of work shoes away cuz they were covered in rutgrat.* 

viscog  fr bloggerese   (vis cog) Short for visionary cognition which is also known as Nostrodamusing.  *My dreams are just viscogs, what I see will be.*

shiesses   fr bloggerese   (shi ess es) The act of straightening your hair with hot flat iron. *Conking may have been popular in the 60's but now everyone shiesess their hair.*

moonsdo   fr bloggerese   (moons do) The sheen of your hair in a full moon glow. *The Prom queens new style hair was spectacular in the moonsdo just before she was bathed in pigs blood.*

freebu   fr bloggerese   (free bu) When a guys sack falls out of his shorts and is visible to the world. *While Jeff was playing b-ball in his 70's era shorts he  tripped and there was a freebu incident drawing gasps from the crowd, and a more than a few people threw up in their mouths a little..

Quintera   fr bloggerese   (quint era) The section of the first Jaws movie when Quint was alive. The Quintera ended with Bruce the shark chopping Quint in half..

The best words are words that paint a picture all by themselves...jus' sayin'...

the sincerity font

TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!       

Dr. Dre  (rap sucks) Michael Douglas (again with the MD)  Tiger Woods (eldrick)  Dollywood (can you say boobies?) Gwyneth Paltrow (the next ex-Mrs Johnson?) Lisa Murkowski (who?)

Whiter teeth (better than ooga-booga with the green teeth) FHA mortgages (are a ripoff) Reducing cholesterol (diet and exersize) Bristol Palin (OFFS, when will this family of morons just go away?)

 damn...i was so busy trying to correct my unemployment situation,

i nearly ran out of time to blog...

     when i started this blog I WANTED to pimp the guy book...but i decided that it was such a great read that it would surely be stolen and i would be very pissed...sooo i posted a few snippets and got bored.

     i wrote that book when i was going thru the hardest point of my adult life just after the collapse of my business...and writing is cathartic.whatever... but the blog is much more fun. It gives me an outlet for my favorite pastime, telling stories. It does not have to be structured or even make sense...

    it takes a bit of time to get the blog done but i write a bit here and there and have several cooking in the hopper all the time...That means that i do not have to spend a whole lot of time coming up with ideas and stuff like that. but you can tell when you read it that i jsut bee-bop thru it...

    so a while back i heard that the people were screaming asking  for a sarcasm font. but what we really need is a sincerity font.

consider this blog written in the sincerity font. (or verdana)

    to often in our lies we rush thru the day only to get to the next one. we take people for granted. We do not say the things that we should cuz it does nothing to advance our cause. but seriously it does. as some of you know i am a big believer in karma. what goes around comes around...

    As I age i, i realize that i need contact. we all need contact. i can hide behind the psuedo-falsity of the cyberwebby, and can be my alterego, MidlyFamous and just me... kinda my BloggerTrinity

but when it all comes down, we are all connected...by something... 

    before everyone say wtf dude are you going soft and shit? hell no, but i am going to recognize the people that are important to me. and why?

    cuz it will help me. and how is that you ask...simple...i will feel better about myself AND I will know I spread some good karma...obviously i am always banking karma...just some of it isn't good...

    in all sincerity, here are some of the people that are currently shaping my life. and for that i am very thankful... (other than my family and close friends constantly bitching at me offering words of wisdom)

    KBF always an uplifting read. and it is never long and rambling. the message is good and she is a REAL person. and she has some way cool pics... one of the main reasons i did not bail on GoogleBrother and blogger is cuz of people like her...

    Mustang Sally eclectic mix of pics and writing. the kind of person that you would be glad honored to call a friend. also she was very supportive after the Googlebrother thingy.

    Kara just flat out funny. she does not have a ton of followers, and I refuse to believe that will be the case for long. I ALWAYS laugh out loud when I read her blog. And it does not ramble on like I do. To the point and good stuff. she also exhibits good taste in following the EvilTwin blog...

    Simple Dude always a great read, and funny...he is like an EVERYMANS bro...

    The bitchy waiter flat out fu-king funny shit...if you have ever worked as a waiter you will appreciate this blog...hell crimestoppers you wil appreciate it even if you never donned an apron or slung soem hash...

    Dr Snarky a good guy and a very thought provoking poster. AND one of my guypack...

    Carmi- Found this site thru blogs of note and in turn found MS and KBH...of all the blogs of note I have found in the last 10 months, This guy is the only one of all these *blogs of note* that actually interacts with his followers. And you really need to try your hand at the Thematic Photo stuff, or at least check them out Every Thursday. oh yeah AND he is flat out GREAT...and he is an actual real live lournalist...so that is very cool...

    Rabbit one of my followers on the EvilTwin blog..also an eclectic mix. you really need to find his story about the Thanksgiving Turkey...f-ing hilarious!!

    Bouncin' Barb...my very first follower on the Evil Twinblog and she always has a comment....which we all KNOW we love...and we know we cannot have God killin any more kittens...

    Karen Sather A Minnesota gal, with an eye for taking pics and comments that always uplift...I really love the pic of the boat on the top of her page...

i also am thankful for the other blogs i follow and you can check them on my blogroll..no SERIOUSLY! i have good taste and i guarentee there will be NO blogs about quilting...

In an effort to get ahead of the THANKINGFULLGIVING crowd, I have tendered this blog to you. "33" oh wait, that is prolly trademarked for Rolling Rock...   and by that i mean all of you that have stopped by and joined in my craziness... 

in case i forget happy thanksgiving

tuckmonster tuesday 3

TRENDING NOW!!!! TRENDING NOW

1. Michael Douglas (jewel of the nile 4?) 2.Heidi Montag 3. Brittny Gastineau  4. Bristol Palin (if people quit reading about this family fo diggleberries will they just go away?)  5. Retirement 6. Faith Hill  7. Immigration 8. Brett Favre (retireded? reiterated?)9. Wireless Data Plans (all suck) 

10. Playa del Carmen (donde esta casa de Pepe?)

hi im Tucker. some people call me the TuckMonster...okay only daddy calls me that..i do not know why...some people, like my daddys friend Aaron call me bo-bucker...there is a song that goes with that name...fee fy fo...hey did you hear that? did you hear that? i have to go check it out...i know there are lots of things that i know cuz i cool like that, so feel free to ask me a question...i am good at giving advice...
    heres a freebie.
Q: how can i tell if someone is a good person?
A; good question...something important... sniff their butt. you can always tell if a person is good by sniffing their butt...
     daddy and i went outside to play fetch. daddy thinks i do not know how to play fetch but i do. i bring the thing that is thrown back to daddy...i drop it...oh a fluffy longeared thing...got to get it!got to get it!got to get it!
    oh hey....im back....after i drop it i get a treat. daddy is not too smart. he sometimes forgets to give me a treat after i drop it. even when i sit and give him the bestest cute puppy look. he thinks i do not know what is up...i humor him and go get it again...then i get a treat...daddy is not too smart. sometimes he forgets to give me a treat...then i go get it a gain...
    i like to play fetch and you chase me. i do not want to let it go.unless.i.get.a.treat. sometimes daddy does chase me. it is funny cuz he is so slow. i am much faster than daddy. his treats make him slow. they smell bad and they have smoke coming off of them. they are yucky.
    i also like to dig holes. i can smell stuff that daddy cannot. there are all kinds of things that i am good at and daddy is not. he does not like to dig holes. he puts the dirt back in them. mommy does to, but she puts my pop in them. she thinks that will make me not dig. don't tell mommy but there are a lot of places to dig. lots.of.them.
     the other day a found a hoppy thingy. i stared at it. it was covered with little bumps. i sniffed it. it hopped. i sniffed it again. it hopped again. i picked it up with my mouth. it tasted yucky. yucky.yucky.yucky. it hopped away and i did not go after it. it was yucky.
    then i found a rock. it was not yucky. i carried it in the house. daddy did not see me. i jumped on the couch and chewed it. then mommy made me spit it out.
     did you hear that? i did. got go find out what that was.what was that?what was that? what was that?
woof!woof! woof! i scared it away...daddy and mommy are safe from what ever it was...hey there's my bone...there's my bone! there's my bone...
  
     The TuckMonster is looking forward to your comments
go head ask tucker (almost) ANYTHING and get an honest to dog answer

signed,

TuckMonster

whats that door do?

TRENDING NOW!!!! TRENDING NOOOO!!!!

1. Tom Brady (bro what up whit da doo?)   2. StupidPalin's made-up word (somebody Please get me some duct tape...NOW) 3. One-way trip to Mars (book-it Dano) 4. New Dehli building collapse (ouch Prayers please)

5. 100,000 write in votes in undecided Alaska race (guess google didn't like me getting 100,000 hits on  my blog about write in votes...) 6.High Tech Homes...(no cardboard boxes here) 7. Black Friday (NOOOOOO!!!)

8. Kobe Bryant (tricky shot, dude)  9.Alanis Morrisette (still whiney after all these years) 10. Sara Jessica Parker (sexless in the city)

think it is time to change the pace...hope you enjoy!!

whats that door do?
on your shirt...                     it opens and closes
funny if you haven't heard it all before
it is just
yet another door

Decissions     

Outside        

Ourselves      

Revealed      

doors DO open

and doors DO close

they keep you in
enclosed and safe

they keep you out

excluded, confused

they lock latched  at last

 they swing swiftly shut

they creep carelessly open

or carefree quickly close

not all doors
have windows...watching

and some

have blinds...unseen

 open a door

stand at the threshold

walk....thru the door...

unsure of what

  the other side

holds

there are doors

that slam

surprise

there are doors

that swing

reprise

sometimes

(we)

walk past a door

(we know)(we) should open

and walk thru
but (we) stand in fear

or

trepidation

uncertainty

or never

certainly

never knowing

what a door will hold

until you use it

standing in a room full of doors

i do not want to walk back thru

the door

from where i came

that door is closed to me now

swinging shut

with a thundering thud

i stand and stare

at all these doors

wondering where

they will take me

wondering where

i will go
knowing where

i have come

from

nowhere?

somewhere?
to
nowhere?
somewhere?

until i choose

which door

(is best)

to open 

what's that door (do?)
   for                      

me                
      now?         

Just Another Door? In Paradise













the AntiBiography in my head

NOTE: not all views/BS/ramblings in this blog are factual...jus'sayin'...

TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NOW!!!!

Sarah Palin  (someone needs to duct tape her mouth shut...jus sayin)
Aung San Suu Kyi (?)
NFL Injury Report (no comment)
Thanksgiving Car...  (is a turkey?)(...no idea what this is about)
Randy Moss (again...he needs to shut his mouth as well)
Madoff Auction (all money received goes to charity)
Influenza (got shots?)
Pumpkin Pie (looks like babyshit)  Tina Fey (oddly hot)

     i started this blog cuz i like to write. ...little did i realize that it would be so hard. to come up with something to say three times a week was hard enough. to come up with something every day...whew!!!  that is WORK! but it is fun work...
     this blog is like my AntiBiography...i am more than the sum of its parts, but also less than parts of the sum...or just so DamnFullofShit that I need an outlet...can't spend all my time at a bar BS-ing with the other drunks...and now that Michigan has a superdrunk law..
     I have to be very carefull with this new law...I am a SuperDrunk. or mebe a  drunk that is SuperFun. They can't just bust into my house and arrest me for being a SuperFunDrunk, can they? even if i have the keys in my car? which I leave there alot, cuz that way I do not lose them.
     We had  a KeyFob that had a clapper and it would find the keys for us. Bad idea. Clapping is  away to get the dogs attention. and the keys attention too. then chaos ensues. got rid of the clapper thingy...

    I know that work and fun are not often used in the same sentence, especially by me, but it is fun writing this blog. and I definitely do not find work fun...so am i just lying to myself or do I come up with a new word to describe what writing this blog is? Or do I accept that some times work is fun? Or do I bore you with a  conversation that should be inside my head and not with you all...

    combined words: 

fwork or wfun...

both look pretty stupid...

not going anywhere with this..

    anyway

    I am not what you think.. or i am what you think...to most of you (over half my followers are personal friends) wtf? why would they read this? truth be told i am not sure they do.. I am a guy that you know...I actually have one friend that refuses to read my blog, because he thinks he hears all this crap long before you do...However, I come up with new crap everyday and I do not see him everyday, so he is missing out...and when I am rich and famous from being dis.cov.ered. because of this stupid funny idiotic blog... he will be sorry...

you know today will be the day he finally reads it

and he will know who he is ..

f- him... .I can write this blog for you...

the sad thing is he is a great source of fodder..

but if he doesn't see it it is like talking behind his back...

i would rather insult you to your face...

or via texting

     I am not a role model  I know. I know. WTF B? Did you think ANYONE would consider you a role model? yeah I kinda did, actually...but i think i was drunk at the time and....I have tried to keep this blog almost always PG-13..that HAS got to count for SOMEthing...

see what we mean , B? drunk? seriously?

drunks are not role models...duh!  

i actually do not drink NEARLY as much as i talk about it...

i do like to drink tho'
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
and drinking and driving...
(after VoHo...i am much
more cognizntifull
of the dangers...)
please do not drink and drive!!!

        This will prolly come as a surprise to a lot of you... i cuss...a.lot. yeah...I do have a sailors mouth...and more correctly drunken sailor...EvilTwin comes out a lot...but I do edit most of his crap and then he just pouts and writes his own BS...      

       I do not like ketchup. on anything. at. all. Hate is prolly not too strong a word when it comes to catsup, kechup, ketchup...anyway you spell it I am not gonna like it. come to think of it I like Poupon mustard over yellow mustard and real Mayo over Miracle Whip...so mebbe it is a sweetness thing.. mebbe I am  a sourpuss...

      I love Tabasco sauce. and other hot sauces...but Tabasco is my FAVO...particular poison...I put it on or in EV.ER.Y.THI.ING... Even when I  make Jell-o I put Tabasco sauce in it...I do not like the other hot sauces as well. and I have tried a bunch...

okay, i may not really put tabasco in Jell-o...

    

  I do not  always say things that are politically correct. Sometimes I actually say things that are mildy inflamatory...but just some times...other times I say things that are wrong..just .plain. wrong...

      Sometimes I make up words. sometimes I combine words and a lot of time I mispeell words. I hate asking norman the speeelchekjler to chen=ck my woerik..Oh and yes that is how I type, so you can see the amount of work that is involved in one of these long rambling posts about basically nothing...  

    this is the regimine I go thru on every blog...not really...I do not go thru all these things...but you could have guessed that, right? I just  write what poops pops into my head and then refine it to the serious art form it is... 

seriously, Bruce? you expect us to believe there is refinment going on?

 like  you actually edit this shit?

OFFS...

of course i do

can you imagine how bad this would be if i did not?

so then here i am writing this little blog

and tyring to remain true to my beliefs

and stuff and all that...

    sometimes when I get all done I re-read my ramblings...and sometimes what I read even surprises me...sometimes I do not remember tyPing certain words or phrases...and think ? where did that come from...and then I remember....from that other dimension...the won wun one where I am king of the world!

    but most times i dont even edit this drivel, i just hit send...

oh and BTW i am not doing super sports sunday this week...i had the fewest hit in weeks when i rambled on last weekend more correctly sunday, about sports so we'll see if it just sunday thing, a sports thing or a me thing...

have a grat day! er i mena mean Great! DFAY

DAY!