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Monday, September 13, 2010

The Continuation of The Process

  95th blog..only five more to number 100....thanks for you taking the time to read my blog...still short of my goal for the puppies....if you are reading and not clicking thru to an ad, Tucker is thinkin you do not care about his brethern on death row...if you are He and I thank you for your support!!!


   When I was young I used to cry when my team lost. Didn’t matter which team it was. The Tigers, the Lions, the Red Wings, U of M, MSU… even when I lost a t a board game or card game. It just didn’t matter. My father said I was a big baby. Ouch. Seriously? A big baby? It hurt my feelings, but it didn’t kill me. Maybe that is why I am so insensitive.
     I thought about writing a book called Blame it on Your Parents. Then I remembered that they did a pretty okay job of raising me, so I do not have too many things to blame on them. I could come up with a few, but why? Life is The Continuation of The Process. You take what they did poorly and hopefully do a better job with those aspects of childrearing, and then add a few f-ups of your own.

Life is not fair.

     The world is full of imperfection. We all add to it every day. And subtract from it as well. It is the yin-yang and ebb and flow of our world. When they added lead to paint all those years ago, the PaintBrainiacs thought it was a great idea. Turns out it was a very bad idea. Very bad. Our scientific braintrust also added lead to gasoline. Also not a very good idea. What makes sense at one point in time may not make sense at another more enlightened time… The Continuation of The Process.
     At one point women and African-Americans were unable to vote. While now in a more enlightened era, we have a President that is African –American. As we grow, we learn. The Continuation of The Process. And it is good.
      When I got older, I stopped crying when my team lost. I think that was just a few years ago, but the years all blend together, so it could have been when I was ten or 35, it just doesn’t matter. The Continuation of The Process, as we grow we learn. Except in matters of fandom and sports.
     Actually, in The Continuation of The Process, I matured to a passionate state of fandom whereas I simply cussed. A lot. More than a lot. TONS. I am a homer. My team is always getting jobbed, robbed and ripped. That is what makes a fan so ridstupidous. The color of the team you root for colors you opinion of the justification of the calls that were not right.
      Similar to when your parents took away the car for some inane little imprudence, or minor infraction of their petty rules and regulations like that (at that time) curfew thingy. Or drinking and driving. Or any other little thing that as a parent now I would simply not tolerate. The Continuation of The Process.
     If you have ever watched a sporting event with me you know that I have a very blue tongue. I make up stupid names for the opposing teams players twisting their name to suit my particular insult. It is not pretty. It is definitely not mature. It is definitely not right. It is who I am. A flaw in my otherwise completely unflawed and PeterPanish nature.

Sports have rules to make them fair

     I would not say that when my team is losing I am having a proud moment. In fact it is anything but a proud moment. Again I am a HOMER!!! And in The Continuation of The Process of maturing to a passive, adluthoodnessish fan I have halted somewhere along the line .I can temper it somewhat if there are newbies in the fandom mix. I can be milder if there are kids around. I can be a bit reserved in an arena or bar. But most times I am rude.
      In life there are a ton of places where The Continuation of The Process is extremely important. In my job if I vary the process like say putting up the drywall before the insulation, that is a problem. The process must be followed. Putting the grout on the wall before the tile is not in the best interest of the process. Although I am sure that I saw those cats on trading spaces do just this on more than one occasion.
     Throwing the noodles in the pan before the water is a recipe for disaster. Noodle cooked that way are even a bit too al-dente for my taste. Drying off with a towel before you get in the shower is also a bit out of The Continuation of The Process norm. I guess you could call it dry cleaning but even I would find that to be a stretch.
     Turning your car and then turning on the signal is not The Continuation of The Process, but it happens all the time. The world is full of people that do not accept The Continuation of The Process and its logical tenets. These people will be dealt with severely when I am King of The World. I will definitely ground them from their car driving privileges.
     As you know, I am a Lions FAN…Tucker is a LIONS fan. I live in Michigan. The LIONS are my team. And they suck. SERIOUSLY SUCK. They looked to be turning the corner, but now I am not so sure.



      BTW, the Bears are even worse than the LIONS. I can say that because two of the coaches that were responsible for the worst record EVER in pro football are coaching the bears. That and they were stopped less than a yard from the end zone on FOUR CONSECUTIVE attempts. A good team scores there. The Continuation of The Process dictates that when you are that close, you score. Not the bears…Jus’ Sayin’…
     In The Continuation of The Process the LIONS continued to lose on the road. They continued to allow the QB to become toast. They lost in every one of the stats. ‘Specially the one that mattered most. The score.

If you have not heard by now the LIONS got Jobbed again!!!

     I am a HOMER. That was a TD! He caught the ball. There was no question he had control, but in the infinite wisdom of the NFL the LIONS had the TD taken away from them. The game winning score. The Patriots, the Colts, The Cowboys? That play is a TD for all those teams. The Continuation of The Process for those teams is a win. For the LIONS it is yet another hard fought loss. With a bunch of moral victories. A whole bunch of them. The LIONS lead the league in that stat. EVERY year.

Fans are not rational. That is why they bleed the home teams’ colors every game day.
That is why they drive for hours and pay $8.00 for a watered down beer.

     When Calvin Johnson, (no relation) jumped up after that catch, I thought for just a split second, there must be a flag. Holding, offensive interference, a push off, something. That is The Continuation of The Process for the LIONS. That is the status quotient for my team.

That is why fans paint their faces and all the other weird ritualistic nonsense
of which I am REALLY OKAY WITH…

     No yellow flag. No hold the presses. The points go on the scoreboard. But wait. Nope. One of the refs says to another that it was not a catch. Mind you it is not the ref that foolishly interpreted the catch to be okay. Not the ref that was standing a mere five feet away from the play. Nope, that ref is the token blind ref. He put his hands up just cuz that’s what he does when he is in the end zone.
      Obviously that is the only explanation. That or he is the token wussy ref that gets bullied by the other refs BY their faces and gestures. Or he is the follower ref that just goes along with the others, cuz then he feels liked and needed.
      The play is reviewed. The catch is called an incomplete pass. In The Continuation of The Process or some other such NFL nonsense, CJ failed to wiggle his ears and spit just right to complete The Continuation of The Process. I do not know what replay they looked at to say that he did not have possession when his knee, torso and ass hit the field…but then again I am a HOMER.

The rules are interpreted to ensure fairness of the game is not bastardized…

    The LIONS get another try. I hopped for The Continuation of The Process, the make up call and an interference call. Nope. I CUSSED! LOUDLY! Another try. Same result incomplete pass. Game over. Lions lose.

A little of my faith in pro sports died today. When the team from the third largest television market in pro football cannot score from the one and yet gets a gimme win like that there is something wrong with The Continuation of The Process. The process is simply making money. The preponderance of evidence suggests just that.

     In most circumstances The Continuation of The Process for me would be to bluestreak an assload of profanity. Instead I stared in disbelief. I stood up. I walked out side. I said nothing. I just walked away. Maybe I am growing up. Maybe I am maturing. It is after all, only a game. It is after all not life and death. Maybe I am really in The Continuation of The Process…