three days in the woods

Wintercamping!! Camping in the winter. Cold weather camping.

     In just a couple days the Band of Brethren will assemble for the annual rite of insanity known as Wintercamping. I could tell you all kinds of secrets, but why? The first rule and only universal man-law is what happens in the (woods) stays in the (woods). Las Vegas stole that phrase from the man-law rule book.

     I can share that it is a three day thing. I can share that it is in the winter. I can share that it is only guys....I cannot tell you particular events as I am beholden to a higher law....Man-law...

    I will share this. It is fun. It is cold. Sometimes it is really cold. Sometimes it snows. Sometimes it rains. Rain sucks, but there are no bugs. And you don’t get sunburned. The beer stays cold and wine can freeze…. It is cold  and there are no mosquitoes here.

     I can also tell you this. Ice-cream sandwiches do not stay frozen unless they are stored at less than 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Actually ice-cream needs to be stored at zero degrees. They still taste yummy, but they are more work when they are mooshie….

     Some guys sleep in tents. I sleep in my truck. Setting up a tent is work, and I can work any time…

     I can also let you in on this. It is cold. Oh yeah, I already said that. See how cold it is? I get brain freeze just thinking about it. Brrrrrrrr…See this happens during winter, hence the name Wintercamping. And most of the time it snows. One year the Grand Rapids Press front page was titled, “Please stay Home” so we went anyway. They ain’t the boss of me…A massive blizzard is not going to stop us.

     The Band of Brethren will gather. We will camp. We will dominate nature. We will be cold. Or maybe not. We will survive. We will have FUN. Much will happen, but nothing will happen, because what happens in the woods stays in the woods…

   

     I COULD tell you what goes on at Wintercamping, but then I would have to kill you….

Just another day in paradise

Gone but not 4gotten

    Gone but not 4gotten...The Saints went marching to the Superbowl. They marched all over #4. Gone but not 4gotten. The Saints did not forget who they were playing. They made sure he will remember them. The old gunslinger was trooper. He got hit so many times I was sure he would not get up one of those times. Good bye Bret. I think it is time.

     The Saint’s victory leaves the Lions as the last team to not make a Superbowl appearance. (save for the expansion teams, but they have not been around forever, or since the merger, so they do not count in this pitiful record) I could hate them for that. But not so much. They played and won. Hats off to them. WELL PLAYED! The Saints ain’t the ain’ts anymore. I am sure that many Lion players have seen the Superbowl, and even some have played in the Superbowl after leaving the Lions. The Lions are the new ain’ts.

     They destroyed the Vikings. Gone but not 4gotten.Well, the Vikings helped to destroy themselves. The Saints took advantage of the miscues. You know, with being that I am Norwegian and all that; you would think I would love the Vikes. But then there is the trauma of the 70’s and Tarkenton and the purple-people eaters. Man, the 70’s were weird. One of the best front seven’s in all of football, named after a hokey 50’s tune…

     I am not sure if I really witnessed Brett Favre’s last game. He is a tough guy. He was abused and mangled, but he played all the way to the end. It was only fitting that he goes out the way he came into the league. Throwing the ball all over the field. The old gunslinger. Yep, the old gunslinger, tossing an interception to end regulation play. And maybe his career. He holds all kinds of records, according to many announcers, and John Maddening he is the greatest QB of all time. Did I mention he holds all kinds of records?

     The thing with #4 is you never really know if he is really retiring. Oh, the trauma and the drama. All he needs to do now is go play baseball for a couple of years. Tigers need some help with Granderson off to the Spanks… Gone but not 4gotten.

     I am not sure if I ever really liked the quarterback. I can respect his ability. I would love him on our team, just like that guy Chelios. #4 always played for the other team. However, he did play for the Jets. Go Jets!! However he tanked at the end. And then all the drama of retiring or not, and blah blah blah!!! Only to end up on the hated Vikings! Damn you football gods!

     Jordan was the man who changed The NBA. He retired, sucked at baseball, came back to basketball and won three more titles. Then he retired again. And then he sold underwear. He holds all kinds of records. He sucked at baseball.

     Steve Yzerman was the greatest leader in all of sports. He was THE CAPTAIN. He replaced my apathy toward the Wings with appreciation. I may have shed a tear when he held up THE CUP. I do not know, cuz I was pretty drunk at the time. Er, I mean over served. He was a warrior!

     The captain came back from a knee injury that should have ended his career. I have heard that he was the first to undergo the surgery and come back to playing. He retired and didn’t come back. I would love to see him play forever, but he knew he could not do it anymore. Now he holds a job in the front office with the WINGS. Thank God, he didn’t try to go play baseball.

     I thought about retiring today. I would, but then what would I do? I could write blogs every day. I could go fishing every day. I could catch up on my nap time. There are 10 of 1000’s of games of free cell, and I could play them numerically, and win them all. That would get me in the record books for sure. Then I could retire from that, only to try my hand at Major League Baseball.

Just another day in paradise

bathrooms

     I have two bathrooms in my house. One is for the guys, one is for the girls. Well, they are not labeled as such, but that is how it is. They both are full baths. The girls’ bath is on the main floor. The guys’ bath is in the basement.

     The girls bath has a 5 foot vanity with one sink, so there is lots of counter space. It has a tub/shower and a toilet, which seat and lid are always down. I don’t remember the actual color of the vanity top, because it is always cluttered with an assortment of lotions, soaps, mascara, fashion magazines, contact cases, and other things my wife and daughter use to put themselves together in the morning before they start their days. Stuff that has to be in full sight and at their fingertips, I presume to circumvent any and all beauty debacles.

     The one outlet has a power strip with all plugs filled with various heat assisted beauty devices. Flat irons, curing irons, and lord knows what else. I am sure the Eastern seaboard experiences brown-outs during the weekday mornings when both are preparing to face the day.

     There is also a full height linen closet cubically filled with other paraphernalia used by the girls. I should also mention the drawers and space under the cabinet are also filled with bathing and beauty supplies. I think I may have a toothbrush in this bathroom, but I am not quite sure.

     There are always several towels hanging on the bars, the shower door and hooks. These towels are the usable towels. There are also the decorative towels. These are never to be used. They are for show. Not that anyone would care to show the disaster that is this bathroom. But nonetheless they are there. They are right above the decorative soap that you can NEVER use, under any circumstances.

     The guys’ bath has by contrast has a shower, a towel hook, a towel bar, a wall mount sink, a corner medicine chest with three shelves and a total of 12 items on those shelves, and a throne. There is also a tool box next to the toilet. It holds tools. Not beauty tools, but pliers, channel locks, etc. and it doubles as a book case. I set it there when we moved in, to get it out of the way, and it has been there ever since. The only other thing in there is a free standing table with some reading material and a spare towel.

     A few weeks ago I used their toilet to relieve my bladder. I flushed. The toilet revolted and overflowed. I plunged the toilet and the clog went to the waste pipe Nether-regions. Amazingly there were NO towels in the bathroom to handle the overflow. No towels save the decorative ones. They no longer hang on the hook above the fancy decorative soaps. They soaked up the overflow quite nicely, and took their place in the trash can hall of fame. The second test flush eliminated those pesky decorative soaps as well.

Just another day in paradise