wordless weds 5 11 11

???????????

tUcKeR 2sDaY 5 10 11

TRENDING NO!!!! TRENDING NOOOOOOOO!!!!

1.     Alicia Silverstone (bun.in.oven.)

2.     Heidi Klum (to wed seal)

3.     Bobby Jindal (found his birth certificate too)

4.     Marg Helgenberger (says beiber is a brat...no shit?)

5.     Sheila Bair (stepping down from post, thinks she fucked up the banking system enough for one lifetime)

6.     Seychelles (a resort?)

7.     Lamar Odom (leaving the lakers)

8.     ADHD (what? Forgot what I was doing)

9.     Retirement (never gonna happen; you will drop dead at your job)

10.  Osama bin Laden (even dead, this guy won’t die)

daddy and i
we love us our WINGS!!!!
we put on our sweaters
and do fun hockey things!!!!

i am tucker. i am a puppy.

WorldDogmanator.
superpuppy!


see how the sun shines on me like MagicLight!

daddy and i went to do many things last week. we went ev.er.y.wher.e.!!!!

guess?

nope...

i tellz youz guyz!

we went to the big orange store! we went to the river place! we went to the sams joint! we went to gramma's w's house. we went for many walks!

daddy is old and slow so i run ahead, cuz i no longer need to pull daddy along with a leash...he will eventually catch up and i will lickity lickity him! and get all wiggily jiggily!~

i helpered daddy do some yard work.

i am helping cut this grass
checking for bugs!
but i don't know why
daddy says
i am a pain in the ass
i was helpering!

i met a new friend this week.

no.

you're funny.
ha.
ha.
ha.

it was NOT mr. stinky...

mommy won't let me go out when she smells mr stinky...mr stinky looks like a kitty, but he sprays smelly stuff when he plays...mommy says mr stinky is a bad friend to have...but i love ev.er.y.one!

'cept mr stinky...
he is stinky.
stinky
stinky!

sorry, mr stinky. i do hope you find friends!

like me!

and like my new friend.

mr. b buzzy. mr b buzzy flies around and i try to catch him! he is pretty fast! i have not caught him yet. mommy says to not try to catch him, but i do anyway. mommy says mr b buzzy will hurt me. i do not believe her. he is so small.

then she shakes that green bag with the noisiez and i stop.

i don't like the noiziez.
i get ascareded.
just a bit.

i went Gramma's house and met 2 other puppies. at first they were not nice and tried to be all alpha-puppy on me. i was a little ascareded, but then i started playin!
playin is fun!
they did not want to play.
only alphagrowl.
but i kept playin!

Daddy and i went to the Shmoz Brewery to watch game 4. our team, the REDWINGS!!!! was looking done. down 3-0 in the series and we needed a win, to keep the season going, so we both put on our sweaters and went to watch the game.

daddy said,"WonderTwin powers Activate"

then he laugheded.
i did not understand his joke.
i lickity lickitied him.
i laugheded, too.
cuz i did not want him to feel stoooopid!

i was the bestest fan there! ev.er.y.one wanted to take my picture...i was ok with that. i was the bestest fan there. and people loverded me, cuz of it.
i got loved up!
by ev.er.y.one!

i met mr piggy, too. he was not at all interested in the hockey game, or playin.
i love playin!
playin
playin
playin

i got a lot of popcorn, too.

youz guyz woulda loved hanging with daddy and me!

and the REDWINGS?
they won!
of course!
WondererTwin powers?
daddy's silly joke...
or a little pup-luck?

i am tUcKeR, i am superpuppy!

i wore my lucky sweater
sooz our team won
i was mr puppy-lar
look at me in the sun!

mfft monday 5 9 11

TRENDING NOOO!!!TRENDING NOOOOOOOO!!!!

1.     Brett Favre (coming back! Or…retired for good? We will find out at training camp…)

2.     Sada Thompson (died…no idea who this is but dead none-the-less)

3.     Dana Wynter (also died)

4.     Chaz Bono (did not get her, er uh I mean his, mother’s looks)

5.     Data theft (omg, they stole all my numbers!)

6.     Jodie Foster (liking the beaver?)

7.     Michael Bolton (trifecta! He died too?)

8.     Thor movie (bombs…only 4 people saw it)

9.     Obama speech (was heard by 4 people too)

10.  Comcast (will steal your money and break your heart)

and now for something you will really like!

The brass balls award...

orig pic source

This award has no list of requirements...

(Remember the Petey to keep it Sacred)

Well...
yes it does...

But don't bother yourself...

There are only 2...

Rules that is.

A set..

So to speak...

being the egotist i am and the overlord i am, the attention whore i am, and the all around jackass that i am, i came up with the perfect pair...

Brass balls that is...

The rules:

Only 2, just like balls...

Rule # 1! I am the only one that can award it.
Rule #2. Upon accepting, give me a shout out! 


the rest of this, i prefer to think of as more like guidelines, if you will:

1. i will randomly choose two guys or gals, or a guy or a gal, that deserve to be awarded.
2. you can vote on who should get it based on the post i pick.
3. the blog that gets most votes will get this shiny set of brass balls.
4. you can let me know in the comments section. or email me at askevilbruce@gmail.com
5. voting goes for 5 days from the posting of the award
6. i will change the rules as often as i like...
7. cuz i have the brass balls...
8. and i ain't afraid to show em.
9. this not like the nice rack award where a pic is warranted
10. under NO circmustances do i want the winner to:
1. post a pic of thier balls
2. post an artist rendition of their balls
3. see an up close shot of their package
4. hear about how big their sack is
11. this award is about having a pair, not being a dick!
12. i will largely use this as promotion; both mine and thiers....
13. there are no ties, in the event of a tie, i will come up with something like a sudden-death thing-y! 

and the nominees are:

Drake Sigar for this post
Yeah... No really can explain why I am riding mynx-y like a horse, but what really gets me about this one is the blatant boobage, and guess what, they all love it! in this day and age of sexual harassment for looking at someone with lust in your eyes...this post is ballsy...but drake is a ballsy guy

Oil field trash for this post.
Any post about nut sack surgery is definitely a show of brass...balls that is. ball brass. Oily lives in Texas and well, you know, steers and well, whatever... just read the post!

go forth and readeth and votiply!

Just Another Day In ParaBALLS

Sunday Snippet 5 8 11

Today is special.

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOOOOO!!!!

1.     Kate Hudson (just plain hot!)

2.     Rosario Dawson (fell in a creek)

3.     Pacquiao vs. Mosley (boxing is rigged)

4.     Angela Bassett (milf)

5.     Gas prices (wait for them to go up even more!)

6.     Mother's Day (so over it)

7.     Tina Fey (very hot)

8.     Asthma treatments (suck air)

9.     Atlanta Braves (losing? winning? Whatever…Verlander pitches second hitter of his career)

10.  9/11 attack plan (let it fucking go!)

SO...why IS THIS day special???

It is Mothers Day...here in the USA...
Congrats to all the mothers out there,
Hope your day was/is special...

welcome to new BIA Violet at
gratuitous violet
stuff violet made
punk raw kitchen

stop by and leave some tasty comments...

Oh yeah, the post!
On to the insanity!

You also prolly already know that I think greeting card holidays, like today, are bullshit. I think MD AND FD are right up there with VD...

Both the holiday and the disease...

And on that note:

On this day in 1986, I said, "I do." For the first time... totally a mistake...no regrets...Life is no place for regrets, we make the bed we sleep in. I would say I learned from this...I may not have, but whatever..

I ask no pity for the road I choose, for the path I wander.

Thank god (and you all should, right now, thank god) I did not sire any children with that woman. This also made it so we could have a clean break...

And speaking of clean breaks, I have been smoke free for 5 months!

FuckinA!

I am also free of cancer for five months as well...you know, baby steps!
5 months. Nearly a half year.

I also was diagnosed with COPD and asthma, so smoking, while out of my life, has left its mark...I will never run a marathon again.

Not that I ever did.

Now it cannot even walk up a flight of stairs without panting like Tucker after 2  minutes of vigorous stick fetch...Some days I struggle to get dressed. I am exhausted by the simplest of tasks.

And 2 flights of stairs?

Faggeddaboutit!

Baby steps. Today. Tomorrow. For the rest of my life.

I will never be a preachy anti-smoker, cuz even tho' I have been not smoking for 5 months, I am a smoker, and always will be. I can never smoke again. I am not looking for your pity. Not asking for your tears.  1 is the same as 100. I will, however, say to all you fellow smokers out there, I understand your addiction, and I feel your pain.

I hope you can quit before you do irreparable damage.

Life is so much better when you can breathe!

I am alive! And every day above ground is a day worth celebrating! Celebrate your loved ones every day!

No cards, no fanfare...NO tears, no pity.



Another Breath.
And...
Just Another Day In Paradise!