all the cool kids!

you are getting very sleepy...when i snap my fingers you will follow this blog! leave tasty comments! and check out my OTHER blogs! Bruce's Evil Twin stupid stuff I see and hear The Dreamodeling Guy dreamodeling! The Guy Book The Guy Book


the blogdog blog

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

all i want for Christmas....


please note: this post is inspired by an email from a friend in 3d world who lives far away that i talk to by phone, and email but still is very much a part of my world. kudos billy g! 

oh and this is a long ride "over the river and thru the woods" (c) song by Lydia Maria Child.  so buckle up and potty before you leave the house! 

tis the season!

buy some gifts! 
show them you care with donuts!
nothing says love like: 
a new phone!
a new car!
if you don't know what they want, give them a gift card!

does anyone appreciate seeing and being anymore?

we see ads all the time. we are bombarded by pleas to spend more and buy this and get that. much of our world is being relegated to dealing with each other thru and by technology. 

tis the season!

buy buy buy! consume! everyone needs this widget or that gizmo...not one ad says hug someone. lots of them say kiss, but those are jewelry ads, so they don't count. 

my blog my rules....

by the way, if i have to buy you something to get a little action then that seems to me like trading sex for money and i think that may be a little thing called prostitution...

jus' sayin'

someone's gift of a cell phone was the catalyst to propel their kid to to stardom. 

or taught them a new language.

pullllllleaaaazzz! 
but because i saw it on TV it must be true. (or You-tube, or FB)

i learned a new language at Christmas when i was young. we did not have a touch screen cell phone. 

hell, we didn't even have a color TV. or cable. 
i digress...

some people may call this language swearing.
"JEEEEZUS CHREEEIST, Bruce, How did you break Major Matt Mason already?"

anywhat...you know what my phone did for me lately? IT woke me up out of a deep sleep because i forgot to turn off the vibration and ringer. 

when the phone rings in the middle of the night, it is usually bad news, a booty call, or a wrong number.

bad news? usually it can wait. (i'm not a doctor, or a plumber)
booty call? Mrs. J may not like that too much...
wrong number? ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.

and now you can touch phones to send movies. a guy has a video given to him by his daughters and one by his wife...just by touching phones...

even MRS. CLAUSE is sending porn to SANTA! notice she did not touch him. they are practicing safe sex, by using the cell phone. i find this kinda creepy...

tis the season!

i know several people that will pick up their phone and text someone while engaged in a conversation with another human. it is ridiculous. 
not even an excuse me. 
some EVEN try to hide it by putting their hands below the table. 

hey man! shake it three times and your playing with yourself. but that is okay now, too. masturbation is talked about like it is no big deal. except if you happen to do it where someone doesn't want to see it. so it still is a big deal, but at least we can talk about it...  

two steps forward, one step back 

sometimes, i find myself doing it as well, er, uh, no, not the masturbation thing...that is for a different blog.

we were discussing playing with your phone, as in phonsturbation...

phonsturbation: verb. from blogdogspeak. The act of constantly dicking with your phone. Holding, groping, touching, stoking, or fingering your phone all the fucking time. (c)2012 the blogdogblog...bruceejohnsonjadip.blogspot.com (this link will direct you back to my blog FYI)

fuck you urban dictionary...those jackasses don't deserve my genius contributions...anymore...

i have been turning my ringer off and flipping the phone over. 

i also disable the vibration. 

it is my business line as well so i use that as a reason to keep it with me. (it is also my watch and my sober app.) We can justify any position any way we want. it is all about spin.

tis the season!

the other day we were eating dinner in front of the TV. it is a good tradition. i enjoy this time. i could go to the bar and drink to get some social interaction, but home is nice.  

we are empty-nesters. i know i like this phase more than my wife. 

it is just us and tUcKeR, the world dogmanator.

anyway, our new place is small and we have no room for our dining table so we eat at the counter a lot.

and we eat in front of the TV, too.

on this night, we were watching wheel of fortune, eating dinner, and commenting on the outfits the contestants are wearing...

human interaction is good. 

not just because of the booze and food. there is laughter. my job lately has been slow. 

i have had a lot of me time. i am good at it. i do alone well. 

but i still like the time with others, too.

tUcKeR is curled up in the corner of the couch, sleeping. 

a commercial break. an ad about i-pad. i tune it out.

i give the tUcKeR a pat on the head and tell him he is a good dog. he wags his tail. his world is complete. the other dogs in his pack are all together and he just got a bit of attention. (and mebbe he will score a snack or scrap when daddy stands up, he is kinda a sloppy eater) his eyes convey a completeness that is lacking in most humans. he says not a word but a brief touch makes his world complete.

abruptly, my wife says  "i need an i-pad..."
i ask, "why?" 
she says, "I need to learn it's OS for work."
i say, "if they need you to learn it, they can supply it. and pay for the added service"
she says, "well, they do not require it yet..."

she NEEDS it cuz it will make her life better!  clever ads have convinced her that it will do such wondrous things and make her life better.

then from her phone there arose such a clatter, that she must take a look to see what was the matter...(c)ref to Twas the night before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore 

she has a text or a FBF (facebook friend) like or something to her latest SU (status update). the commercial moves on to the next one while she taps away a response...

i cease to exist.

i do not even know where my phone is. i may have left it in the car. it is probably on the charger. in the other room. 

i know it is not missing me. 

and...

i do not care where it is. 

whatever my phone NEEDS me for can wait til later. it is after business hours, and i have no jobs in progress, so there are no emergencies that cannot wait til i decide to look at it. 

a feeling of power sweeps through me. 

"my heart grew 3 sizes, that day" (c) Dr. Suess. How the Grinch stole Christmas"

i do not NEED my phone...it NEEDS ME!

i stare at the TV. so much for a conversation. i bet the our conversation lasts longer if i agree she needs one more thing to take her away from actually talking to me.

because we NEED.
we WANT.
We are never satisfied. 

and they know that. 
tis the season! the ads drone on...
my mind wanders...

biblical scholars tie this to the fall from grace. the separation from our creator has left a gaping hole in our soul. ad agency's know this as well. i saw that devils advocate movie, wasn't that about ad execs? i don't know, but my mind thinks it... it must be true! 

the hole cannot be filled with stuff.

the birth of Christ? giving gifts? the equinox, the solstice. pagans, christians, jews...the end of days?

after 30 seconds. my mind switches to something else. 

cuz i am programmed. 30 seconds, then on to.... 

i declare to myself, and anyone listening,  or more correctly to the clicking of thumbs tapping out a most important message, there are 3 kinds of ads:

medical ads:drugs/meds/lawsuits against said meds
food ads: arbys/mcd's/bk and packaged foods like cinamon rolls
gift ads:techno and jewelry  

I pat the dog again. he looks at me and wags his tail. 

thump! thump! thump! his brown eyes are filled with joy. it takes so little to make him happy. i see and feel his appreciation. he lives to be touched and to touch back. he licks my hand.

the touch is not lacking in this one. 

he craves touch and will never pick his phone over me. he will never think an i-pad is cool. 

more sales pitches for technology that will make our lives better. things that will make it easier to disconnect from human touch. drugs to make dicks harder or pain go away, but give us cancer, in some cases. selling us where to eat and what to eat. selling us gems that will make her heart melt.

no ads selling us time. no ads telling us to not spend money but to spend time.

the tapping thumbs continue. 

the show is back on. I say something but hear no response. tUcKeR gets up, and assumes the IPP. (international Play Position, for those of you not versed in dog speak) a toy in his mouth. a glint in his eye. he wants, no, NEEDS contact.  

he has no idea that i NEED the latest technology to keep me from actually touching another human. (and stop the spread of diseases)

we move to the big rug on the floor. we tussle about for a ratty old scrap of cloth from a toy long gone, except for the drool soaked piece that we wrestle from each other. we play. we play like there is nothing else that matters.

because in that moment, nothing else does! 

dogs get touch. they NEED touch. 

what i want for Christmas is a phoncation. 

we all need one as well. 

tis the season!

we need to be more in ACTUAL touch with each other, and less with our phones/laptops/nooks/kindles/i-pads. 

we more connected but less in touch. 

time savers like a text instead of a call, and a call instead of face time do not replace the human touch. they are a poor substitute.

we touch the screen of our smart phones more than each other.

this year, i am spending time instead of dollars at Christmas. 

time with the ones i love. to touch them for real. to hold their hand. and hug them. 

time is a gift that is so precious, yet so taken for granted.

and touch is a gift that is fleeting, like time. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 

Bruce and tUcKeR 



Wednesday, September 5, 2012

i am back in the world after being out of it for a while.

my first post with bloggerers dashboard new format.
BTW...i hate the new dashboard.

come to think of it, i hate change.


but not as much as these guys...

i think it had a dial tone.
i heard something
but i was afraid to
touch it to my ear.
you know,
zombie apocalypse and all...


try texting with one of these...

peace out yo!

just another day in paradise...
just another dog in puppydise...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Independence Day!

my phone is.... not the boss of me... 

The human bond...that is what I need.

On this day we recognize the sacrifice of freedom. I say thank you to the brave men and women that gave the ultimate sacrifice, their lives, so we may know freedom. 

Happy Independence Day!


(and yes, like the battle for our independence, I will be dropping bombs...knowledge bombs!)


Independence Day!


Today July 3, 2012 at 11:00 am EST, I have turned off my cell phone...I will turn it back on when I have some time to kill. When I am bored. Or need to call 911. Or when I go back to work next Monday...I do not need it. It is not the boss of me. I am on a Phoncation...  A phoncation...not to be confused with Phonication...


Phoncation... Turning off or powering down your cell phone for more than a re-boot. Not to be confused with your battery dying. This is a VOLUNTARY reflex. Turning off the cell world and turning on the real. (BTW, this is currently under review at Urban dictionary.com if accepted, tUcKeR will get the credit)


Phonication... Duh...AKA sexting...AKA phone sex.

Mebbe  my phone is the boss of me...But I do not have to let it!


anywhat...
tUcKeR and I have been busy lately. 
Busy doing stuff...
Dog stuff, you know...

sniffin', sleepin', chewin', and playin'...
and we are getting ready for a trip to go fishin', so the boat needs to be done up just right. We leave in less than two weeks. I know, it sucks to be us... 

If I figure out the fecesbook on my stupidphone, with all its stupidtechnogeekybullshit, we may post a few random atrocities and fishin' lies stories and pics...

Or we may not...who knows? 
I would not count on it...
My phone is not the boss of me...
Independence Day!

It has been hot. we are living like shut-ins...We did have a small foray into the world the other day. Turns out the Chase Bank Branch near my house is Dog -friendly! 
And you know who is a fan fav?

not just me and my ugly shirts... 

Everyone. 
luvs. 
tUcKeR...
I know, right?

They even sent us a card...(actually 2, but who is counting...)
That really makes us feel good...

You know what does not make us feel good? Aside from hot sticky weather
Losing the phonefaceoff to text convos...

The following story is Mebbe... true...
Every story has basis in fact...

I like to drink. 
A lot.  This is true. No bullshit!

I have my watering holes, and they are few but good. 

Just like fishin' holes. A sweet spot, where the world makes sense. 
These are facts. True life things.

Sometimes, I go out for beers. It is a damn good thing. Drinking with a buddy. Talking the shit that we always do. 

Many subjects...

Most of them are bunches of bullshit, like winning the lotto...But the conversation is real. 

There is no auto complete, or auto correct. I do not have to pay to be at the top of the list. I am not being Googled/Binged/spammed/phished nor am i being deadheaded/cyberstalked/dinked/dorked/diddled or fucked. 

I just am.

(Get this. Googled is not in the Google Chrome dictionary. I would think by default these self-important assclowns would have WRITTEN that phrase in the Google-html-or-what-the-fuck-ever-code...)

digression...sorry...

Although with some people, that you have known for eternity, the completion of a sentence happens occasionally. Cuz the internet, people, mimics the real world. Not the other way around. It may be that the internet was created by humans, but it is not human.

We are NOT God. Virtually or otherwise...

As we speak the conversation ebbs and flows. It gives and takes. It is real. Two humans talking to each other. (sometimes it is me talking to myself, as well, but we will not go there now. the voices are quiet now. it is good)

Just as it used to be. 

You know, waaaaaaay back when cell minutes were ridiculously priced and only the Wall Street YUPPIES and Look-at-me-er's carried giant cell phones that could not even take a 3 meg-pixel picture of your junk, let alone send it to every tom, dick, or harry via text or email. 

When twitter was the goofy flight of a drunken bird or some such similar non-sense...Way back when if you wanted to see your wife's/GF's titties, you had do your best Greg Brady. You had to make a move.

These people with bag phones, these douchbaglookatme-er's also had pagers. And were tied virtually to the machine, the office, the man, or whatever god-money they we beholden to... 

 I  laughed at them. 

Yes, I was younger then... I had less experience. The world was different.

I  had not tasted the sickly-sweet cell smartacity... The world was free. You and I, back then, we were beholden to no one. Able to disappear to the lake or golf course with impunity.  We did not carry our mini- computers everywhere.  We could disappear


I did disappear for days. 
jus' sayin'

We did not get a text from some transposing twittering twinkie at three am asking us:

*wehre ther fukc u at?*

And you know what?

We did not die. We did not become so lonely and forsaken that we killed ourselves. Or others. We survived. Adapted.  Improvised. 

More so, We flourished. 

We wrote letters! 
We talked. To each other. Face-to-face. 
I looked forward to seeing you! You looked forward to seeing me! It was anticipated.


Back to the story...


We are talking. Bantering back and forth. The usual.
The phone on the table vibrates.

beckoning.
a siren song.

it.
cannot.
be. 
ignored...

i am speaking.
It is prolly just a bunch of bullshit, but it is face to face...

He looks at his phone. She has texted him, in the middle of a conversation...

He picks it up and then texts back...


phonefaceoff loss...


to a text. where the fuck is my samurai sword? i must fall on it now!

Then he looks at me, distracted and says, 
"What were you saying?" 


No sorry.
No explanation.

fuck me freddy...

It is not just one person that does this to me. 

It is several people. I know so many people that let the phone rule the reality of everyday life. We see it everywhere. It is not just distracted driving, it is distracted living. If you can call living like this living... 

Is it really?

I know there are those that will argue it is better this way. I am not calling for being nuked to the stone-age. I am not calling for a phone burning. Cellphones are not the devil, bobby-bouche... they are not evil, or witchery.  

We are PavlovianPhonian(s).  (also submitted to UD.com) We just have to answer it. 


We all do...

The sirensongsmartphone...it fucking sucks!

We are losing it people. We are in touch but not touching. 

Back to the story. In this case, it is about sex.

On numerous occasions I have said, "Dude? Really? I am right here..."

My voice lost among the cacophony of cell waves...Undulating, underlying vibrations set to some distant dance beat drums of the new reality... 

beckoning... 

she. is. his. everything

love is like that...
sex is even more like that...


Distantly I hear the sound of a whip being cracked...

i open a dialog with myself.  the phone will not interrupt this conversation. yeah, it may be one-sided, but... 

*funny how sex changes things. not just for the participants, but the world at large. the things people do for sex...virtually and reality sex is becoming dangerously intertwined as one.* 

A cornucopia of copulation set to a symphony of cell-phones...

Out loud I say..

"For the record. 
I will never send a picture of my junk via text. 
or email.
Never.
Ever.
Never..."

*well... at least not in a sober state.*

*Note to self:
yet another reason to quit drinking so much...
nah...fuck that...*

Then I drop more wisdom.

"junktextin' = jexting...
drunktextin' = drexting...
jus sayin'..."

*i am in control of my camera. it does not control me.
a mantra...my phone is not the boss of me...
rinse. lather. repeat.*

I expound with more knowledge/truth-bombs
"The world is so connected yet so distant..."

*whatever.*

I look over and his phone vibrates again. This time he tries to ignore it, but to no avail.

Independence Day!

I no longer have my phone ringer on when I am with another human. If I have it with me, I set it face down on the table, cuz the lights and vibration distract me from the real person in front of me. 

Often , I leave it in the other room. Alone. ON PURPOSE! I go to the store without it! I do not miss it! And it does not miss me. 


Cuz it is not HUMAN! It is a fuckingphone!

I do not answer it after 5pm, I let it go to Voice Mail. If it is important I can call back at a time when it works for me... 

I may even chose to totally ignore your voice-mail. I may never respond. I can do that. I can be that cold. I do not need to respond to every goddamn sirensongbeckoning... 
It is important to be connected. 
Yes it is.

To a human. To the flesh. To the real.

Independence Day!


Yesterday...
The phone rings.
More correctly vibrates. I pick it up and I look at it. 
I do not know the number. It goes to voice-mail. 
I may check it. I may not.
I may respond. I may not.
I still have the choice...

Independence Day!


Today...
I Choose life.


Choose those in front of you.
Choose the real...
Independence Day!

I do know this... 

On my death bed I will not say... Geez, I wish I had sent one more text, instead of talking face to face with my friends...

as tUcKeR likes to say!

"Peace out and nap strong!"

Just another Independence Day! In Paradise!
Just Another Dog In Puppydise!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

still kicking...

say it ain't so...

1 year 6 months smoke/cancer free.

still miss smoking...

some advice...

quit smoking is difficult, so start quitting today...it took me about 20 years to get it right...

don't ever piss into the wind...
ever.

don't buy cheap shit, cuz you always get what you pay for...

and lastly...

never. ever. never ever. substitute confectioners sugar for flour...

right Megan?

Just Another Dog In Puppydise...

Sunday, April 29, 2012

v is for...

vibrant!

even though the WINGS are done,
daddy and i had lots of fun...
you may have seen me before
cuz i like the out of doors
here i am being very vibrant
stopping just to smile and pant!


Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Saturday, April 28, 2012

u is for...

unhappy...
my WINGS!!!! got beated...



unfinished...
uninspired...
ugly end to a great beginning...


i am tUcKeR...


daddy and i posteded our blog and scheduled our posts, but the bloogerboogers...did not do the posting of our posties...


we are sorry...


we will try to catch Up!



Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Monday, April 23, 2012

t is for

tUcKeR!
i am a puppy!

tricky light!
nearly night!
minnesota sunset

way back when i was training to
be a fisherdog...
i had to be tied to the boat...
to keep me from
taking off or taking a plunge

trips and travel make me tired!
tUcKeR...


what else is there?
being tUcKeR can be tiring...



Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Saturday, April 21, 2012

s is for...

smilin' in the sunshine!


i am tUcKeR!
i am a puppy!


i may have told you that once or a thousand times...
i do not know.
am a puppy!
i cannot count!


but i am a good boy! 
and it is SUNNY!
it is sunny!
i am shiny!

i am smooth!

see me!
so very handsome!

I see!
other stuff!

smile!

sniff stuff!
spring smells!






Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Thursday, April 19, 2012

r is for...

resting...

hello everyone!
daddy is writing the blog today cuz tUcKeR is resting...
i could say that he is tuckered out...

and daddy is really not feeling it...

really?
really.
rilly....

not.
feeling.
it.

so here is one of my favorite stories of all time...
brought to you by the letter r...

that sure is a lot of bandaids...

When my daughter was young, she loved Band-Aids. If it hurt, it needed a band-aid. I never understood why. I still don’t. I fought this affinity for about three minutes.

Or three years.

I can’t quite remember when I just gave in and gave up. I had no idea that this was even an issue when I re-married eleven years ago.

One day my daughter asked me for a Band-Aid.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
“Yes.” She replied.
“Are you bleeding?” was my next query.
“No.” she responded.
“Then you don’t need a Band-Aid,” was my logical response.
“Yes. I do” She replied.

This went on for what seemed like hours. It was probably more like three seconds.

I gave in.

When I went to the linen closet to get a Band-Aid I found that we had approximately seven million of them.

Geez that was a lot of Band-Aids

There were Barney, Scooby, and Hello Kitty band-aids. There were pink ones and blue ones and even a couple boxes of flesh colored regular boring band-aids.

I remarked to my wife, “Why do we have SO many Band-aids?”
“Libby likes them.” she replied.

I guess so, I thought to myself.

I gave my daughter one and thought that was all I had to do.
“Put it on me.” She said.

I asked her where it needed to be adhered, and she pointed to what appeared to be a spot of perfectly healthy skin.
Again I asked, “Why do you need a band aid?”
"I have a boo-boo." she replied.

Over the years she had several boo-boos and apparently the band aid was the magic elixir that made it all right. I am not a kiss it an make it feel all right type of guy. I reluctantly obliged. What can you do?

Too soon she won't need me at all, for anything, let alone making it feel alright.

I am a carpenter by trade. I still have all my fingers. However, I often get cut, scraped or draw blood. Lots of boo-boos. Sometimes I am bleeding and I only figure that out when I see blood on the floor or the object I am working on.

My idea of a band-aid is duct tape. In lieu of duct tape there is electrical tape. If those two items are not available there is always a strip of a rag.

The dirtier the better, that’s how you build up tolerance to infection.

When I sold my Toyota, I found three boxes of Band-Aids in the back seat storage compartment. I think I put them in there to make room in the linen closet. Maybe it was to make sure I had a Band-Aid in case my daughter needed one. I traded in the Toyota for a Ford Ranger and I have a first –aid kit in my truck.

I am not exactly sure what is in it.

I put it in there when I bought the truck. I have no idea where it came from. It is not big enough to hold a roll of duct tape.

A few months ago we were playing Hockeyball. My daughter took a tumble. She skinned her knee. It drew blood. She left the rink, and cleaned up her wound.

She is s tough little cookie. She made more of a fuss about the hole in the leg of her newest pair of skinny-leg jeans than the bleeding spot on her knee. She came back on for her next shift, and played thru the rotation.

She never even asked me for a Band-Aid.

My little girl is growing up.



Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

q is for...

quiet...
I am tUcKeR...i am a puppy...
be very quiet...


daddy is sleeping...
so tUcKeR is quiet!


wait..what is that?


wooooooooof.....woowowowowoooooof!


daddy is not sleeping anymore!
tUcKeR was not quiet!

now daddy HAS to play with me!
i lickity his face, and get all wiggily-jiggily and bark at daddy!~

daddy put the pillow over his head...

tUcKeR is quiet again...


Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

p is for...

puppiness...
i am tUcKeR!
i am a puppy!
the bestest thing about being a puppy?
playin!
and chewin!
and playin!

pouncin!
on stuff that no one else can see!

peering!
down on people...
from my perch

pleading
for a belly rub!
play
pounce
peer and
rub someone's belly to day


Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

o is for...

overcast...
this is overcast!
this is grass...
grass is not overcast!

i am pretty!
but not as shiny...
when it is overcast!

i lookeded around
for some sunshine!


but i could find none...
so i hided from it!





Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Saturday, April 14, 2012

m is for

i am tUcKeR!
i am a puppy...
i am combining the letters M and N...


MN is Minnesota. 
the place that daddy and i go to catched lots of fish when we go on vacation...



m is also for machine gun...
i drew youse guys a picture
notice we have a bow mounted gun!
but not really...
im just playin'
mwuwhaahahaha
daddy saysded that i should be nicer.
i should not lie, eve if i am quoting the 
best.
movie.
ever!

daddy sasyded it is Die Hard.
i am partial to Airbud

the real picture of our boat
loaded to go!
don't go fishing in MN...
only daddy and i know where to go, sos yous guys wont have
minne fun...
haha
get it?
i useded minnie for any...
i AM a funny puppy!
bye for Now...


Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Friday, April 13, 2012

l is for...

lick-a-saurus!
lickity licks are a puppy kisses!

i love to lickity lick!
i am a lickasaurus!









Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Thursday, April 12, 2012

k is for...

king tUcKeR!
it is good to be king!
i am tUcKeR!
king!
and 
world-dogmanator!
as a king!
i survey the sitch-i-a-tion!

as  a king!
i look down
upon my
minions!

as a king!
i attack
mr ball!
for important
king-ly
reasons!

i have my eyes on you!
i. am.
king tUcK!




Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

j is for...

JADIP...


Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise


cuz i am a lazy puppy, and tUcKeR is still MIA...i think he saw a squirrel and ran off a couple hours ago...his idea for a blog post half done, and well...half assed...or he is sleeping in the other room...


on behalf of the the JADIP blog / blog for my puppy the WorldDogmanator, tUcKeR, 


here is my first ever blog post....(edited a bit from the first draft)

Just another day in paradise.

JADIP. Living the dream.

I have heard it said that a positive attitude is the key to happiness. I do not know if that is the case, but it is definitely my key to keep from going insane. Everyone has problems and bad days. Everyone has issues. Everyone faces loss and pain. However, everyone also has good times, and good days. Some of us just have more bad than good. And some of us have more good than bad.

It is all about how you spin it.

When someone asks me, “How’s it going” or “What’s up?” or any other greeting I respond with this phrase. “Just another day in paradise.” Usually people smile. They get it. I follow up with “Living the dream.” Am I lying? Am I being facetious?

Neither, I am just spinning it to make the day more palatable, for them and me.

Attitude is the proper spin on the issues you are facing. If it is not life or death, you can bet that there is someone that has it worse than you. You don’t have to look very far to find greater pain than the mundane problems impeding your happiness. The world spins, and your outlook should as well.

It is all about how you look at it.

I try not to get too hung up on the details. I try not to stress out about the issues. I try not to feel sorry for myself. I like to see people smile. I like to hear laughter. Even if it is at my expense. I am a spin doctor of happy thoughts.

At least I try to be.

One day I was doing some plumbing. I had to fix a water leak. I had the parts and pieces sitting on the vanity counter. I had to pee. There was a toilet next to the counter. I urinated into the toilet. I did not flush. I left the seat up.

You can see where this is going.

I some how hit the parts on the counter. They somehow fell in the toilet. Major bummer, dude. They would not flush. They would clog the toilet. That would compound the problem.

I would them have a toilet issue as well as a water leak.

Somehow they have to get out of the toilet. Copper is not magnetic. There is only one solution. Reach in to the pee infused water and pull out the parts. Problem solved. It could be worse. It could be solid waste. It could be someone else’s urine. The day, as impossible as it sounds, went down hill from there. I will not bore you with the issues and setbacks I faced.

It was Friday however.
TGIF.

When my boss called to ask how the day went of course I said “Just another day in paradise.” “Living the dream.” And then I told him the toilet water story. He laughed. He laughed hard. It is funny. It is funnier to have it happen to someone else. Stupid stuff is always funnier when it happens to someone else.

After all it is just another day in paradise and I am living the dream.


btw..tUcKeR is right here beside me, sleeping...chasing bunnies and squirrels is hard work...and so is the a to z challenge...he vows he will be back soon...


Just Another Day In a-to-z challenge
Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

h is for...

i purposely combined my post to use the letters h and i together!
cuz i am all kinds of sneaky like that!


tUcKeR is taking a day off so daddy gets to type a blog!


happy insanity...

the birth of your first born child.
that last few minute before you say *i do*

when you walk in the door after a long day of work to a little puppy.

quitting a job you hate...
with no back up plan...

your sports team winning it all!
that first kiss...

snow days!

friends and family from outta town that you have not seen in forever!

finding 20 dollars in the pocket of your jeans!

an actual hand written letter in the mail box!

that first glass of OJ when you wake up parched!

winning the lotto or any gamble...

catching a trophy bass!
or catching any fish, if you happen to be tUcKeR!

one thing my puppy  has taught me...
happiness can be insane
all encompassing
everything!

have some happy insanity today!


Just A-nother Day In a-to-z challenge
Just A-nother Day In Paradise
Just A-nother Dog In Puppydise

Saturday, April 7, 2012

g is for...

go get it, tUcKeR!


this is the go get it stick!
daddy likes to throw the ball!
i like to go get it!
it does not do much without daddy.
it just sits there...

daddy picks it up!
then...daddy says...
GO GET IT, TUCKER!

eyes on the prize!, tUcKeR!
















the ball is colorful!
I GO GET IT!
i got it!


got it!

i am a handsome boy!
both momma and daddy say so!
i look good

nobody is gonna get my ball!
i got it!
not mrs bunny
not mr squirel
and definitely not daddy!
sometimes he is more like a grandpa!
daddy says some really funny stuff!
but i am much funnier!
i sayed...

daddy is like a grandpa....
hahaha!

daddy says drop- it...
most of the time i do not...
at least not the first time he says it!
"i got it! i got it!" i tellled him!

he did not goed to get it
got it!then...
i droppeded it for daddy.

cuz i am all cool like that!

then i goed get it...
again!

gratuitous silhouette shot!
smile for the camera!

nobody goed to get it today like i did!
i got it!
got it! got it! lots!
and 
daddy got tired!



i am tUcKeR. i am a puppy!
i go get it!


what do you go get?


Just A-nother Day In a-to-z challenge
Just A-nother Day In Paradise
Just A-nother Dog In Puppydise