all the cool kids!

you are getting very sleepy...when i snap my fingers you will follow this blog! leave tasty comments! and check out my OTHER blogs! Bruce's Evil Twin stupid stuff I see and hear The Dreamodeling Guy dreamodeling! The Guy Book The Guy Book

the blogdog blog

Friday, March 4, 2011

thematic foto friday 136 doubles

1.John Stamos (new and a half man?)
2.Selena Gomez (new single is a flop!)
3.Tia Mowry (preggers and loving it…who cares?)
4.Martin Sheen (disowns chuckles)
5.Car recalls (auto re-dial?)
6.Elizabeth Hurley (evil villian to new wonder woman…well she IS a woman…)
7.Heart Attack Grill (575 lbs spokesman dies at 29…hmmmm, things that make ya go…hmmm)
8.New Bible (removes words like booty and virgin? Wow, what about penis and vagina?)
9.Gabrielle Giffords (remarkable recovery!)
10.BlackBerry (newest crunchberry cereal, Blackberry the Pirate! Comes with free cell phone…capturing the booty! And subduing the virgins!)

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by
The Empress
she is the wordperv queen, all around funny, and insightful...
stop by and say hi!

 A warm BIA (Bloggerer in Arms/follower) welcome to
Mountain Mama at into the wild blue yonder

I am Tucker! I AM THE PUPPY!

My goal of World Dogmanation
is going well!

bonus tUcKeR 2SdAy

Daddy and I have a double treat for you today!
playin! and chewin!
i am tucker!
i DOUBLE as daddy's
bestest friend!
this toy DOUBLES
as a fetcher and
a chewer!

Today's Theme is doubles!

Tucker's take
youz noze
2 nose
two too smell youz
 daddy's take!
doubles balls
on the ground
one ball's
in the air!
double trouble
2 get doubled hit by
the ball
youz threwz
tooz doubled
spin this that spins at around the cups
on the cusp
tucker's take!

this is where i do double duty
i eat with my snooty!
and lickity with my tongue from a bowl
cuz youz all will be to knowl

daddy's take!
double shot of coffee!
double shot of vodka!
breakfast of champions?

double double

2 many shots
2 many cups
double good?


double dose
of medicine
makes me all
good again!

For more of this incredible display of
stop by Carmi's site at WrittenInc

Thursday, March 3, 2011

thinkin thursday 3 03

1.Zsa Zsa Gabor (is a zombie)

2.Megan Fox (anorexic)
3.Hugh Laurie (excited about his first winter cold…seriously? This is important?)
4.Scarlett Johansson (the next ex Mrs. Penn?)
5.Bedbugs (really suck)
6.Selena Gomez (punched by Beiber fan)
7.McLobster rumor (McPsyche your mind)
8.New Bible (less fat and no salt)
9.Family Ties (the movie!)
10.Health care (it is cheaper to die)

This week the JADIP Blog is sponsored by
The Empress

"fear that is met, is conquered, fear that is not, is defeat."

A quick post, as I am still recovering from the recent bout of illness. It is gettting old. I am getting better, but I have no stamina, and I get run down so easy. What I used to just work and power thru, now drops me like a round house from Mike Tyson.

I slept like 18 hours straight.

And for those that are keeping score at home, I am still smoke free! (almost 2 months)

I am not sure if I stole this from somewhere in my checkered past or made it up, but I was talking to Jewels the other day and I used the aformentioned as a comment ender...

I am not affraid of many things. That is not meant to make me sound all fucking macho and all that, but so many things are out of my control, so fear and trepidation will paralyze me. 

And I have no time for paralyzation.

I used to suffer from Anxiety Attacks and Panic Attacks. They were born of fear and uncertainty. One day I woke up and said to myself.

It is time to live.

Everyday. I am alive.

I do not want to reach the end of the road and see that I never left the sidewalk!

I am not afraid, to die...I am afraid I did not live.

Just Another Day In Pardise!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

tUckEr 2sDay 3 01

Charlie Sheen (Insane)
Lindsey Lohan (Milka Wha?)
Charlie Sheen (Milka Who?)

Lindsey Lohan (Insane, also outsane)

there is nothing else that anyone is concerned about....

editors note: Seem to have come down with Kat's lung krud 

and Tucker is Playin. Playin. Playin.
Chewin. Chewin. Chewin.

so he can't be bothered to do anything other than hit "post now"

i will be back as soon as i can...

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by

The Empress
The Ranter's Box!
she is the wordperv queen, all around funny, and insightful...
stop by and say hi!

i am dog!
see me stare!
i am tucker! i am a puppy! i am just over 1 year old, but i am still a puppy! it snowed again here in puppydise! i love the snow. daddy was snowblowing and i was playin!


i am digging the snow!
soooo much!
digging is the best thing!
nom nom nom!
i was talking to daddy the other day.
i told him all kinds of stuff
about mrs bunny
mr squirel.

i know lots of stuff. i am not afraid to tell people the stuff i know.  i am also very funny. i tell lots of jokes! And i told daddy about all kinds of stuff. and really funny jokes! then i said
but that is what mrs. bunny said!

funny stuff

the other day i told daddy that we needed to go more places this week. it has been a long time since i went to the big orange store, or anywhere, for that matter. that is not acceptable. he did take me to the place with a lake that we could walk on. and to his friend Marci's house.

but i ask you?

if we do not go more places how will i complete the task of

world dogmanation?

heheheheh! that was funny.
i am still laughing about the funny joke i made up.
world dogmanation!
you are getting very sleepy!
i hope that we go see some fun stuff this week. daddy said  we may go on a roadtrip tomorrow!

Monday, February 28, 2011

mfft MONDA...the winner is!

1.Mila Kunis (my newest stalker)

2.Anne Hathaway (seems to me she has some really wide hips…)
3.Tom Hanks (is getitng old)
4.Sandra Bullock (the next ex-Mrs. Johnson)
5.Selena Gomez (preggers)
6.NFL lockout (greedy bastards)
7.Last WWI veteran (dies)
8.Tax deductions (I really took tucker as a you think that is wrong?)
9.PS 22 Chorus (were the best part of a really lame and stupid awards show)
10.Allergies (my new allergy is to idiotic award hosts)

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by
The Empress
she is the wordperv queen, all around funny, and insightful...
stop by and say hi!

And the winner is!!!!

Not the f*ing Oscars. God, I hate the Academy Awards. It always seems like they are trying too hard. Overall I give the Oscars a D. for dumbasses.

No seriously, the winner of my little giveaway is...TuckMonster picked a name out of a dog bowl!

Wait for it!

Wait for it!

Jumble Mash

Jumble Mash gets the last printed label copy...yeah, after I fucked (oh my evil twin was busy!)around most of Saturday with the software to get one print, I decided to never do that shit again. officially licensed crazy stickered actual copies. oh and it it signed as well!

original and remix copies...wooohooo!

More Food For Thought?

I now remember why it is that I have $80.00 worth of labeling stickers and shit and only one label printed up.

Remember, I am an artist. Printing up this crap is f*ing technical. I hate technical...totally other side of my brain..


All entered and!!!!! they all get the two disk set on plain disks. "just plain labeled with sharpie" disks...signed as well.

Lucky all you all!

Thank you all for playing along!

Send me your snail mailing address at and I will pop together the two disk set.

(Please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery, cuz I am all kinds of lazy!)

On to the real meat and potatoes...

on the MFFT Monday menu!

Bruce's Potato (Tater) Soup...

creamy style....this is a big batch of soup so invite some friends....

10lbs of potatoes, rinsed peeled (or not peeled, my family prefers peeled)
water (enough to boil 10lbs of taters)
3 cups of water (for broth)
2 tbsp virgin Olive oil (cuz slutty olive oil is bad)
1lb bacon (thick sliced is better)
1 lb cooked ham, diced (i like smoked flavoring)
1 large onion chopped (white, red or yellow, I do not care, I prefer vidalia's)
1 red pepper diced small
1/4 small jalapeno
10 cloves garlic chopped fine (each segment of the garlic is a clove)
1-2 cup(s) diced carrots (I do not like carrots much, so...)
3 stalks celery chopped fine
4 green onions chopped into 1/4 inch pieces (save some of the greens for garnish)
1/2 bag green peas (i use frozen)
2 cups mild cheddar cheese, shredded
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 cups sour cream
2 pints heavy whipping cream
1-2 sticks of butter 1/4'd
1 qrt half and half
1 can chicken broth (low sodium...yeah, that's FUNNY)
2 ea - 1/4 tsp black pepper (or to taste)
1/4 tsp salt  (or to taste)
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp celery salt

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (or to taste)
4 bottles Molson (Canadian) (no cans)
(oilfield trash you can sub 4 shots of patron)


Pre-game warm-up
Open one bottle of Canadian, drink the rest of this bottle for sipping.
Line a large cookie sheet (the kind with a 1" lip around the perimeter) with aluminum foil
Layout the bacon on  a large cookie sheet sprinkle with 1/4 tsp of black pepper ( i actually just use the Grinder and grind a bunch on it, but whatever. Sip.
Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees F or 28 degrees C...(yeah right, I can't convert figure this out yourself)

(as a side bar, guys underwear has an opening so we don't put them on backwards)

In a large pot add water 3 cloves of garlic chopped, 1/4 stick butter, and 1 tbsp olive oil.
Bring to boil.
Peel taters and cut into bite-sized chunks.
Add taters to boiling water.
While the taters are boiling finish off the first beer.
Oh and cook the bacon.
Cook taters to firm, but not mushy.
We are not making mashed potato soup. (save 2 cups of this liquid)

While all that stuff is happening, open beer #2 and in a larger sauce pot than the taters on low heat add:
3/4 stick of butter,  1tbsp Olive oil
Allow to heat then add:
Jalapenos, onions, carrots, ham, peas, red pepper, garlic, celery (and any other veggies I may have listed up top)
Allow to soften but do not let it get mushy.

Half time!

Drink some more beer.
Add the chicken broth and 3 cups water and simmer for around 20 minutes.
Check the bacon, it should be crispy but not burnt. burnt would be bad.
When the bacon is done let it cool and chop it finely.
Eat at least one piece of the bacon!
Add a bit of the bacon grease to the broth. (like no more than a couple tbsp...)

Taters are done and now and you need to separate into roughly 7 lbs  and 3 lbs.
lightly rinse the 7 lbs of taters. set aside.

The 3 lbs?
This will be like a roux or thickening agent

In a mixing bowl add
3#' s of taters, 1 stick butter, sour cream, salts, and Parmesan cheese and the 2 cups of potato water.
Add a shot or two of half and half.
mix completely.
this will be soupy mashed potato slurry.
set aside.

Are you still on that second beer?  WTF? Are you nursing it?

By now the broth is slowly boiling (and you are on beer #3.)
If not, turn the heat up a bit and open that third beer.
Add the bacon crumbles. (do not bastardizes my recipe by using those fucking imitation bacon bits.)

As soon as the broth is boiling, add the two containers of heavy whipping cream and the rest of the half and half.
gulp. (your beer)
Stir frequently.

It is important that you keep up on top of this because if it boils over or scorches, you will need more than 4 beers. Seriously.

Stir in the shredded cheese.

Sip/gulp. (beer)

The pot now has all the ingredients in it except the taters. As soon as the pot is boiling mix in the slurry and turn it down to simmer.  stir. SIP.

add the cubed potatoes.

Stir, and serve!

*Garnish with a bit of the green onion greens and a sprinkle of shredded cheese.*

And finish those beers, dammit!

Just Another Day In Paradise!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

sunday snippet...2-27

1.Taylor Swift (top spot 2 days in a row. some peopl need to get a life)

2.Amber Heard (a who)
3.Jerry Seinfeld (died)
4.Social Security (all gone, thank you bush years)
5.Nicole Kidman (preggers)
6.Paul Stanley (arrested)
7.L.A. Lakers (lose 5th straight, riots ensue)
8.Flu season (the fifth season...summer fall winter spring and flu!)
9.SeaWorld (first great white in captivity)
10.Academy Awards (will be as as lame as last year and the year before.....)

This weeks JADIP BLOG is sponsored by
Bouncin' Barb
Editors note: I may touch on some touchy issues today, in th einterest of satirical and comedic purposes. if you are feeling a bit touchy on the hard issues of the world today it may be best if you go here... otherwise pull up your big boy/girl panties and read on...

yeah...the contest. see this is  a great idea at 3 am, when i wake up and think, Yeah! I Should promote my music and have a contest! then I remember all the work that goes into just printing up a label.
These people are entered:
And if i missed you please let me know. Tucker wants to draw a name right now.

But I am in charge of this blog, so we will wait. I will have the winner last chance to enter...



Today's Sunday snippet is... a new book idea???...101 not so D.I.Y. ideas... Here are ten that I just slapped together... or if you are feeling like a good cry...

  1. Brain surgery- While on the surface, this may seem like a no brainer, but there are all kinds of cheap people everywhere, and they think they can just surf the cyberwebber and get all kinds of tips and tricks. I have decided to do this on a very limited basis by pickling my brain with alcohol first. I will let you know how the pickling is coming along...I will not be under self-induced knifing anytime soon. Cuz attempting such would be UberStupid
  2. Weapons of mass destruction- Yeah, what a  great idea! Let's all learn about nuclear fusion and fission and the geopolitical ramifications of blowing shit up! and it is out there. For any wannabe IdoiTerroists. I have some plutonium, uranium, and  some unobtainium! Can't wait to try this shit out, baby! Yeah, right, some people's kids...
  3. Building a rocket ship - I have built more than my fair share of rocket ships out of old appliance boxes. Refrigerator boxes work best. There are a few issues with this, however as I have yet to solve the heat shield quandry. I guess I should not have sub-contracted that to the lowest bidder...and yet...We fly coast to coast on machines that are built by such. And the f*d up thing? It is still safer than driving.
  4. Suicide- I do not suggest this. At any time. No matter how bleak it looks, there is still a reason to live. But if you are gonna partake, this should not be attempted alone. Kool-aid and a large group of ReligiousOverZealots is the best way to accomplish this. Jim Jones, and the kool-aid kids...jay-zus that was DUMB!
  5. Marriage vows- I know, you just want to say the right thing. You want your other half to KNOW how you feel. It will sound stupid. You will have friends that will say it was f*ing awesome. They WILL be lying. Face it, the guy will prolly lift his lines from some cyberwebber porn book site or Jewels or Mynx and he will not even be listening while the girl recites hers. He will be thinking of beer. and booze. Mebbe hookers...Jus' Sayin'
  6. Divorce- A divorce should be filled with accromonious-ness. It cannot be ammicable. You Should HATE each other to no end by the time you undo the I do...when you become un-tied, it should be irreconcilable, and filled with vitriole and undying hate. Otherwise f*ing work it out. No. Seriously. Work it out. 
  7. Fixing that leaky faucet- It will always be better to call a plumber. I do construction for a living. I have fixed a MetricShitTon of faucets. I have installed afair amount as well. I twill take about 4.8 f*ing trips to the GD bigbox/hardware store. I still call a plumber. They can fix it.
  8. Drilling for oil- If this were a sexual innuendo, obviously you would be with another person. In this case, It is not. I have attempted to drill for oil, and dig to china. Neither ever amount to much. Oil I have heard is very deep in the earth's crust and in most instances under extreme pressure, and while we would all like our own supply of fossil fuels, leave this shit up to the big boys.. Imagine what the CondoStaupo or NeighborhoodNazi's will do when you errect a drilling derrick in your yard right next to the f*ing shed and swing set combo that did not fit the bi-laws parameters. Yeah, remember that war? fat lazy bitch telling me what i can and cannot do...fuck that...  Besides having the EPA involved in anything is a clusterfuck of unending porportions. (See also guidleines for Lead Based Paint.)
  9. Ending world hunger- A noble cause. A great Idea! Very worthwhile. We all know this will not be accomplished without a concerted worldwide effort. Focus on your circle of influence. I know it is trite. Think  global! Act local. And boycott McDonalds. 
  10. Negotiating a traffic circle- To borrow from my eviltwin...fuckity fuck fuck. Step One. Vehicles in the circle have the right of way. Vehicle outside of the circle have to fucking yield to vehicle inside the circle. Yield does not mean, accelerate and cut off the vehicle already in the circle, owning the right of way. Step two? There is not one. However, this is not a problem if you are all alone on the road after the ZombieAppolcolypse. On second thought, it would be. you just KNOW the traffic circle will be filled with the crashed dead idiots that could not figure out  Step One.

Just Another Day In Paradise!