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Monday, February 28, 2011

mfft MONDA...the winner is!

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!
1.Mila Kunis (my newest stalker)

2.Anne Hathaway (seems to me she has some really wide hips…)
3.Tom Hanks (is getitng old)
4.Sandra Bullock (the next ex-Mrs. Johnson)
5.Selena Gomez (preggers)
6.NFL lockout (greedy bastards)
7.Last WWI veteran (dies)
8.Tax deductions (I really took tucker as a deduction...do you think that is wrong?)
9.PS 22 Chorus (were the best part of a really lame and stupid awards show)
10.Allergies (my new allergy is to idiotic award hosts)




this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by
The Empress
at
 
she is the wordperv queen, all around funny, and insightful...
stop by and say hi!


And the winner is!!!!

Not the f*ing Oscars. God, I hate the Academy Awards. It always seems like they are trying too hard. Overall I give the Oscars a D. for dumbasses.

No seriously, the winner of my little giveaway is...TuckMonster picked a name out of a dog bowl!

Wait for it!

Wait for it!

Jumble Mash


Jumble Mash gets the last printed label copy...yeah, after I fucked (oh my evil twin was busy!)around most of Saturday with the software to get one print, I decided to never do that shit again. officially licensed crazy stickered actual copies. oh and it it signed as well!

original and remix copies...wooohooo!

More Food For Thought?

I now remember why it is that I have $80.00 worth of labeling stickers and shit and only one label printed up.

Remember, I am an artist. Printing up this crap is f*ing technical. I hate technical...totally other side of my brain..

However,
Becca

All entered and!!!!! they all get the two disk set on plain disks. "just plain labeled with sharpie" disks...signed as well.

Lucky all you all!

Thank you all for playing along!


Send me your snail mailing address at askevilbruce@gmail.com and I will pop together the two disk set.

(Please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery, cuz I am all kinds of lazy!)

On to the real meat and potatoes...

on the MFFT Monday menu!

Bruce's Potato (Tater) Soup...

creamy style....this is a big batch of soup so invite some friends....

10lbs of potatoes, rinsed peeled (or not peeled, my family prefers peeled)
water (enough to boil 10lbs of taters)
3 cups of water (for broth)
2 tbsp virgin Olive oil (cuz slutty olive oil is bad)
1lb bacon (thick sliced is better)
1 lb cooked ham, diced (i like smoked flavoring)
1 large onion chopped (white, red or yellow, I do not care, I prefer vidalia's)
1 red pepper diced small
1/4 small jalapeno
10 cloves garlic chopped fine (each segment of the garlic is a clove)
1-2 cup(s) diced carrots (I do not like carrots much, so...)
3 stalks celery chopped fine
4 green onions chopped into 1/4 inch pieces (save some of the greens for garnish)
1/2 bag green peas (i use frozen)
2 cups mild cheddar cheese, shredded
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 cups sour cream
2 pints heavy whipping cream
1-2 sticks of butter 1/4'd
1 qrt half and half
1 can chicken broth (low sodium...yeah, that's FUNNY)
2 ea - 1/4 tsp black pepper (or to taste)
1/4 tsp salt  (or to taste)
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp celery salt

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (or to taste)
4 bottles Molson (Canadian) (no cans)
(oilfield trash you can sub 4 shots of patron)

Directions:

Pre-game warm-up
Open one bottle of Canadian, drink half...save the rest of this bottle for sipping.
Line a large cookie sheet (the kind with a 1" lip around the perimeter) with aluminum foil
Layout the bacon on  a large cookie sheet sprinkle with 1/4 tsp of black pepper ( i actually just use the Grinder and grind a bunch on it, but whatever. Sip.
Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees F or 28 degrees C...(yeah right, I can't convert temps...so figure this out yourself)

(as a side bar, guys underwear has an opening so we don't put them on backwards)

Face/Kick-off
In a large pot add water 3 cloves of garlic chopped, 1/4 stick butter, and 1 tbsp olive oil.
Bring to boil.
Peel taters and cut into bite-sized chunks.
Add taters to boiling water.
While the taters are boiling finish off the first beer.
Oh and cook the bacon.
Cook taters to firm, but not mushy.
We are not making mashed potato soup. (save 2 cups of this liquid)

While all that stuff is happening, open beer #2 and in a larger sauce pot than the taters on low heat add:
3/4 stick of butter,  1tbsp Olive oil
Sip.
Allow to heat then add:
Jalapenos, onions, carrots, ham, peas, red pepper, garlic, celery (and any other veggies I may have listed up top)
Allow to soften but do not let it get mushy.

Half time!

Drink some more beer.
Add the chicken broth and 3 cups water and simmer for around 20 minutes.
Check the bacon, it should be crispy but not burnt. burnt would be bad.
When the bacon is done let it cool and chop it finely.
Eat at least one piece of the bacon!
Add a bit of the bacon grease to the broth. (like no more than a couple tbsp...)

Taters are done and now and you need to separate into roughly 7 lbs  and 3 lbs.
lightly rinse the 7 lbs of taters. set aside.

The 3 lbs?
This will be like a roux or thickening agent

In a mixing bowl add
3#' s of taters, 1 stick butter, sour cream, salts, and Parmesan cheese and the 2 cups of potato water.
Add a shot or two of half and half.
mix completely.
this will be soupy mashed potato slurry.
set aside.

Are you still on that second beer?  WTF? Are you nursing it?
chug!chug!chug!

By now the broth is slowly boiling (and you are on beer #3.)
If not, turn the heat up a bit and open that third beer.
Add the bacon crumbles. (do not bastardizes my recipe by using those fucking imitation bacon bits.)

As soon as the broth is boiling, add the two containers of heavy whipping cream and the rest of the half and half.
gulp. (your beer)
Stir frequently.

It is important that you keep up on top of this because if it boils over or scorches, you will need more than 4 beers. Seriously.
game.
over.
man.

Stir in the shredded cheese.

Sip/gulp. (beer)

The pot now has all the ingredients in it except the taters. As soon as the pot is boiling mix in the slurry and turn it down to simmer.  stir. SIP.

add the cubed potatoes.

Stir, and serve!

*Garnish with a bit of the green onion greens and a sprinkle of shredded cheese.*

And finish those beers, dammit!

Just Another Day In Paradise!

18 comments:

  1. Thanks for the picking me as runner up! Haven't won anything in a blog contest in almost three years, and its MUSIC!!!! Music is good eats for the ears!

    As for the reciepe, sounds like something I do for a summertime picnic or something.

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  2. You are still sober enough to cook by the 3rd period??

    Congrats tot he winner Mash!!!

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  3. I love it that you choose Canadian as your game watching soup making beer!

    I would even drink it just to get to try some of the Tater Soup!

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  4. Are you kidding me? Slutty olive oil is the fucking best! (or so I've heard)

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  5. You cook the way I cook. With lots of beer. And I have a huge amount of respect for that.

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  6. Everytime I see the word fucking on your site [with your girlie font] it looks like f l u c k i n g. [had to spread it out to get what I meant]

    I just teasing. heehee

    Thanks for the cds - that is so awesome.

    I do have a rule about cooking - nothing over 10 ingredients or 10 steps. It would take me three days to make that soup. :D

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  7. whooo hooo I won. And the best bit is I get original Bruce sharpie artwork to go with it. Ok I am a runner up but it totally feels like I won.
    The soup sounds yum and with the coller eather oming I might just have to try it (once I convert those crazy measurements. Oh but what if I can't get Canadian beer? Can I still make the soup?

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  8. the only part of this recipe that i understood was "drink canadian".

    don't mind if i do...

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  9. Congrats to your awesome giveaway winners! And thank you so much for pimping out my blog this week. I am honored and promise to try and get my happy back so that I can live up to my snarky, word pervy reputation ...after all there are lovely readers to make smile.

    As for the recipe and cooking lesson, I do believe that you have a calling as a tv chef. No doubt your faithful readers would happily tune in. I know I would!

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  10. Any follower of my brother is a winner anyway!!! Congrats everybody. Too bad I hate to cook bro, cause this sounds pretty good. Too much work though!!

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  11. how awesome and i am totally trying this recipes sounds yummy congrats to everyone

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  12. Cool recipe...going to try this over the next few days

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  13. I won runner up?? I WON RUNNER UP!!! YAY!!!

    I'll email you as soon as my lazy ass does another sweep of the emails soon. :)

    You have some impressive cooking prowess, too, boyo. ;)

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  14. Holy balls there's a lot of stuff in that soup! I would love to try it but too busy to make it...you can just make it for me. :) Ok thx bai.

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  15. everyone... thank you for the comments...

    i wish i had the energy to respond, but i do not...

    i will get back to normal as soon as i can...

    sorry for whimping out...

    bruce

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  16. Do not bastaradize my_____ fill in the blank here. Love the line. As usual I'm tuning in days late but hey I'm still here right?
    I don't know what kind of music your into but check out this guy named Corey Smith. He has a lot of songs about beer and I think he's pretty good.

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  17. hey b- man! no worries...better late than never...i will have to check out corey!

    fingers crossed on the new digs! FHA is a bitchkitty!

    ReplyDelete

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