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Monday, February 7, 2011

MFFT Monday 2-7

EDITORS NOTE!
firstly...big condolenses to my friends
Oilfield Trash at Make Daddy a sammich
and

their team fell short at the the superbowl....
i FEEL their pain!

and stop by and see SimpleDude
as there are too many packer fans near him that will be infesting his world.

TRENDING NOO!!!!!!!TRENDING NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
1.Fergie (I fail to see the attraction to thisreally limited in talent bitch )

2.Christina Aguilera (despite flubbing words …Worst. Rendition. Ever. )
I just gotta say..if you are gonna do the SSB, stop trying to remix it with warbling and bullshit whitney wannabe vocals. just f*ing sing it. Worst. Rendition. Ever.
3.Dana Carvey (died)
4.Jillian Michaels (quits weight loss show, gains 58 lbs)
5.Flu vaccine (completely gone)
6.Rachel Bilson (loses bet Has to dye her hair green and gold)
7.Troy Polamalu (jackasses are blaming troy? F* that…therapistberger threw 2 picks!)
8.Tablet computer (causes brain cancer in lab rats)
9.Puppy Bowl VII (was tuckers favorite part of yesterday)
10.Carnival floats (go up in flames…bummer dude)




This weeks JADIP blog is sponsored by
SemiTrue ToryStellar 
at
Can U Relate

I was gonna write about my favorite  superbowl commercial, but I am sure that is as played as a two bit hooker near cowboy stadium at 2 am last night. And they just were pretty bad.

But not as bad as Christina Aguilara's pathetic rendition of the star spangled banner. Worst. Rendition. Ever. (had to say it again!)
Then I thought I would give you the recipe for my Super Bruce Bowl of Chili, but the thought of food right now is kinda making me a wee bit queasy. And it was not from all that alcohol. I drank much less than I ate. AND I did not eat much...I picked up a flu bug and my ass is getting kicked. so...food....nope...just pass me some of those saltines...
Instead I am going to take "Off the cuff for $500, Alex."

I am going to repost a post that StephanieC at Seriously???....Really???....Seriously???  found humorous and asked me to repost. I hope you also enjoy it!

Why Is IT?

Why is it that the drug companies feel that they should tell us what a drug’s side effects are in double time? So we do not know what bad things will happen and only focus on the “cure?” Are they just tring to bamboozle us? Common side effects may include dry mouth, headaches, nausea and anal leakage. Anal leakage? Seriously? May cause sharting…wtf..?!?

jus’ sayin’…

Dry mouth is a side effect of a drug I used to frequently enjoy but we called it “cotton mouth”

Why is it that the drugs that work for headaches are not just added to the mix? “I’m not depressed anymore, but I have a splitting headache and I feel like puking…” I do not know, but it seems to me that I would then be depressed again, but for different reasons.

It seems like a waste of money and a large part of the gianormonous ill that is the debacle know as health care in the USA. The rampant over medication of our populace is driven by greed. Why is it we feel as a society it is okay to drug ourselves silly, with prescription meds at ridiculous profits to the drug merchants.

And yet the side effect is sometimes worse than the problem.

Does every drug with that anal leakage side effect have Olestra as a component? They could just say that you may shart, so if your ailment is that bad, pick your poison. I would choose to live with the pain rather than wear a diaper, or walk around like I was wearing a dirty one.

olestra is fun!

Why is it that the actors and actresses that are in these commercials are so unbelievable? They never look unhealthy. They never look like they need anything except one less trip to the gym. I do not ever want to ask my doctor for a ‘scrip for Viagra, but if I did I sure would not walk around the house or stand in front of the mirror rehearsing. And really what is so wrong about a 4 hour erection? I spent most of my teen years in that state and from what I remember, everything else worked pretty well then, too.

How is that a problem?

Why is it that a game on television takes about 30 minutes more during the playoffs than the regular season game, because of commercials, but the commercials are just as bad? Thank god for the magic DVR. (i originally wrote this right after the suprbowl, last year) However, the Superbowl always seems to have a few really good ads. Did you notice that there were very few drug company commercials during the SuperBowl?

Unless you count beer ads.

Alcohol is a drug. Yet it casues a disease. I'm confused?

Why is it that we pay for cable or satellite TV, but we still have to endure commercials? And why do most non beer commercials leave me feeling like I lost intelligence points after I suffered thru the fifteen to thirty second spot? Does anyone ever review what they are saying? Or do they just say “Well, I guess that is the best we can do for the price, let’s just run with it.” Man, I gotta say if the guys putting these commercials together are the best and brightest, we have bigger issues than global climate change and terrorism. The dearth of intelligence from the supposedly educated is a VERY scary thing.

Maybe they are just over medicated....jus' sayin'...

Damn straight those beer commercials are spot on. While they do not get me to switch beers, they sure do entertain and most times I remember the beer that they were pitching. They become iconic phrases of our pop culture. Waaassssuppp? And True, while not the best beer commercials ever, definitely got played in every day vernacular during their heyday. Any guy that says they did not yell Waaassssuppp? To one of his guys during those days is either lying or was in a coma. “Watchin’ the game, havin’ a Bud.”



Why is it that the best days seem to fly by, but the bad ones seem to feel like they run for 28 hours? I know that if we eliminate Monday’s we would then still have a Monday but it would be a Tuesday, so what is the point? Why is it that if you’re having a bad day that some one will always say to you, “Looks like someone is having a case of the Mondays”

Why is it that some people ask you ,”How’s it goin’?” and then immediately start to tell you how bad they have it? Just looking for the magic pill to cure the ill. Sometimes it is just venting. Hey, it's a bunch cheaper than buying a bunch of drug company spoilsmakers...

That and listening is not YET getting taxed.

Why it that it takes what is twice an eternity to get to somewhere you want to go, but it takes no time to get home? It would seem to me that the distance is the same to go there as it is to come back.

Unless Sheila is f-ing with me.

Why is it that the rich bad guys (you KNOW that they made THEIR millions on drugs both legal and illegal) in movies and TV always have a crystal looking decanter of whiskey? It is always in a decanter, so you never know if it is Rich and Rare or Crown Royal? Do you think they drink the good stuff when you’re not around? I would bet that they are offing the rot gut on you….

jus' sayin'…

Why is it they ask if you want a drink, no matter what time of day it is? Do you think that it is a subliminational message? (I know that is not a word, but Norman, the spell checker has not had to work too hard in this blog.) I would bet that the stuff they are offering you would cause a headache, some nausea and quite possibly some anal leakage.

Well, depending on how much you drank and all that.

Just another day in paradise

23 comments:

  1. I agree with you on the drugs. Thanks for the shout out.

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  2. Good re-post.. it was new to me! And I am living in Packer hell. Most of the people around here are the sane, normal folks. But we have some green and gold morons in the office that seem to make a lot of damn noise.

    Fortunately I won a wee bit of money on the game so I am not complaining TOO much.. however you won't catch me watching Sports Center at all this week.

    SD
    www.TheSimpleDude.com

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  3. Love this! And such great points. Especially the drug side effect commericals. "This will cure your toe fungus, butmaycauseliverdamage."

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  4. great post loved this well done

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  5. You make some very valid points. However, I have to add to the 'how are you?' thing. I hate when people ask how are you, and you say anything other than 'good,' and they get offended like they didn't really want to know. If you don't care, then don't ask.

    A real conversation from the past, between my asshole neighbor and a mutual friend down the street:

    Asshole: Hi. How are you?
    Good neighbor: Not well. Unfortunately my grandma just died.
    Asshole: Oh, is this going to be a long story or something? Because I need to go.

    He then ducked back into his house and closed his door in her face.

    Also, after listening to both Fergie AND Christina Aguilera, I still haven't been able to eat. Ugh.

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  6. You know that the lame comment was going to come....why ask why?

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  7. Why is it that someone won't run out and get me a vanilla milkshake?

    I love the Puppy Bowl, too.~

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  8. I love this post as much as when you originally ran it. All important topics to ponder. Hope you feel better soon!

    http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/

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  9. I wrote a post a long time ago about how cable tv sucks because of commercials and crap that we pay for. So true.

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  10. Yaaay! Great repost.

    And I totally missed this awful rendition of the National anthem.

    I think I would have lost all hearing if I was subjected to THAT, in addition to the BEP.

    Good lord...

    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?

    _

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  11. Four hour long erection would, at some point, on some level, have to be painful but, if that is the way I gotta go........someone, take me to a nudey bar.

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  12. I like Christina A., but her rendition of the national anthem sucked! The halftime show w/ the BEP did not make me want to go out and buy their CD, either.

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  13. Oilfield Trash- you are welcome! and thanks!

    The Simple Dude- thanks! and i hear you on sports center..it is a good thing that there are only a few g and g idiots...this was like in the first month i blogged last year...

    Jumble Mash- IK,R? i cant figure it out..thanks!

    becca- thanks!

    A Beer for the Shower- yeah my second ever post on the stupid stuff blog is called the standard answer...check it out! if you really do not want to know, just say hey! and walkk off..

    G- try bud dry!

    Katsidhe-- i was gonna but then i was afraid to try to bring it to ya, i have an aversion to pens in my head! th epuppy bowl rocked! Tuckmonster really did watch it. i have never had a dog that would watch tv..until now...

    The Empress- thanks! and i hope so as well. i am tired of feeling like crap...

    Bouncin' Barb- true...so f*ing true!

    StephanieC- you are the first person that has ever asked me to repost something! your my newest BBFF (bloggerer best friend forever!)

    ib- right on bro!

    On My Soapbox- yup...i kept seeing everyone typing BEP and just now figured out black eyed peas...duh...

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  14. This is great. The side effects of the drugs are more entertaining then anything else on TV. It will cure ONE thing, but you are going to suffer 37 other side effects that may or may not include death? WTH is up with that?

    I just wanted to say - I read your comment over at hed's today and about laughed my butt off.

    Bruce: Side effects include losing your a**.

    Thank you my friend.

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  15. I read that and actually worried that maybe Dana Carvey really was dead.

    I figured, well Chistina Aguilera is the worst, so everything else here must be true...

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  16. skippy- exactly. and i am very new to having to take a daily med for most likely the rest of my life, but so far i have found no side effects...
    we are just too full of chemicals!
    BTW- you just made my day with your comment! i am so glad i can make you laugh!

    kev d- hello and welcome...and yeah, i occasionally just make shit up!

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  17. Drug side effects and sweepstakes legal are relegated to the same speed. Just slow enough that the audience understands 2 or 3 words. Believe it or not the FCC weighs in on the speed. I worked in radio for 6 years.

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  18. Thanks for sharing that, it was funny to read :)

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  19. copyboy- interesting...but it makes sense

    bubbles- thanks!

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  20. I agree with everything they just said! Hahaha I hate how much drug commercials are like that. But it is funny about the beer commercial.

    WASSSSUP?!

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

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  21. AD- waassssup! is one of my all time favs! this original post did not have the video, it was just a link!

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  22. Thanks so much for the sympathy and the shout out, hon. I love the repost, and you reminded me of something I need to post about my first NFL live game. Those drug commercials drive me crazy with all of the side affects.

    Remember the SB beer commercial a couple years ago where the guy was dancing in the kitchen about getting the girl, then opened the beer to have it spray all over her? I loved that commercial.

    TalkativeTaurus.com

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  23. Krissy- no prob! i don't remember the beer it was pitching but i remember the commercial..

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