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Friday, February 18, 2011

slow down and beer me...

editors note:this is a re-post from early 2010...the events of this past week have had me thinking a lot. about a lot of things.

trending noooooo!!!trending nooooooo!!!!
1.Jon Gosselin (has an STD)

2.Adrianne Palicki (new wonder woman)
3.Paris Hilton (getting older, still an idiot)
4.Amanda Seyfried (breaking up with boyfriend, who the f* cares)
5.Tax forms (just say no to paying taxes)
6.Rosie O'Donnell (fat, obnoxious, ugly, and stupid are her good points)
7.Born This Way (whatever, loser)
8.Health insurance (still a huge fucking problem)
9.Michael Vick (attacked by dogs, again!)
10.Extreme rain (and it is PURPLE!)

This weeks JADIP blog is sponsored by

 slow down and beer me!

The other day, or maybe it was a few years ago, I was sitting around doing nothing. I stayed in my pajamas all day. I watched some television. I ate some food. I drank some beer. Had a couple cocktails. I was lazy. Not that that is very hard to imagine, me, being lazy, but I was.

I had the perfect slow day.

It was a thing of beauty.

There is something that is just and right about a lazy day. We are all in a hurry all the time. We text, we call, and we twitter. Well, I don’t twitter. Something about the word twitter. I Brit I used to work with called people twits. Somehow when I think of twittering, I think of the people he would call twits. I agreed with most all of his opinions on those he called twits. It was an insult.

I do not see myself twittering any time soon.

I only text if it is a matter of importance like life, death, insults, or beer. I text insulting remarks to my friends because it is fun. Much more so than insulting them in person. Well, not really. I still prefer face-to face time over the other means of communication. I have several templates designed to text important things like:

beer me

Mulligan’s ( my fav bar) or

Mancave Thursday.

Of course a template is a time saver. I can bank that time for the next slow day. Maybe even get in a 25 hour day. As you go slower time actually SEEMS to slow down. If I move slow enough I may discover the secret to time travel. Maybe. You just don’t know. I do not need to know that it is impossible.

I do not need to know the physical improbabilities.

It seems to me our society is flying at breakneck speed. We can’t drive 55…We need to be in constant contact. Society needs a snow day. We only get one shot at life in this world. (as far as I know). Society needs a significant floating holiday. Or at least a half day. A friend of a friend used to say, “If you don’t like this speed you really won’t like the other one.”

I use that almost daily.

Almost as much as JADIP.

Yeah, I know that society needs to keep moving. Movers and shakers need to keep moving and shaking. You snooze you lose. Time waits for no man. Efficiency, productivity, and best practices, while important, do need to get a rest at some point. Even my laptop gets bogged down if I hyper click, run too many applications, or hit the wrong series of buttons. I would never be confused with a computer savvy person, I can, however, tell when the computer is over taxed when multi tasking.

It shuts down.

It freezes up.

It takes a nap.

Recently I worked for a couple. They were both in wheel chairs. One was in the last stages of a terminal illness. The other was a double amputee. They were very upbeat. They were happy. You can be upset about your bad day, bad haircut, cold food, or any number of trivial things. You do not have to look very far to find some one who has it worse than you.

You can rush through this life, hoping and praying that the next life is better.


you can slow down and beer me …..

Just another day in paradise


  1. That is some of the best advice I have seen on this here internets.

  2. Spoken like a man who has looked at his own mortality straight in the eye. It is an eye opener isn't it? This by far is the best post you've written. I have learned so much through my husbands eyes. Love you brother!!

  3. Holy Crap...I just read that this is a repost from a year ago. Think that was a sign of things to come? Wow, the hairs on my neck are standing up. In a good way though.

  4. Love this post so much and you are so right. No matter what, there is always somebody in a worse situation. Let's be thankful for small mercies

  5. I like that expression "beer me". :)

    It's also funny how you were not going to twitter, but look at you trendin' like a bad mofo now. ;-)

  6. Bruce, you're so totallly on the money, and I KNOW it, yet I can never seem to stop myself from focusing on the negative.

    I wish I could mentally shift. I am trying, but never quite succeeding.

    Feel good, man. I'd beer ya if I could. Give yourself and Tucks another jammie day, too!

    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?


  7. Ok. I'm challenged by it goes.

  8. Some true words of wisdom.... my weekends crafting have been my slow days and I've enjoyed it so much that the weekend has indeed seemed longer.

  9. this is so true. No matter how crappy my day, I always know that somewhere out there, someone else has it tougher than me :)

  10. Great re-post... there are always people having worse luck in the world - we all need slow days

  11. Wow, great post/re-post. And as for the texting, I should mention that I have a cool gadget of a cellphone that has all the bells and whistles... which I mainly just use to text 'so you wanna go grab a beer?"

  12. Hey -- while you're up, I'll take one!


  13. OK. I gotta be honest. Seeing someone else in a worse situation does not cheer me up. But I know that's not what you said. You admired that couple's ability to transcend their condition, and that IS cheering.

    As for tweeting, I found out from a friend, who had a friend, who had an Egyptian friend who gave a flower to a soldier in Tahrir Square, and that soldier blinked and tears came to his eyes. He said "We will not harm you."

    And I knew then with twitter I had a source of news a million times more powerful than corporate news. The name may be silly, but the possibilities are not.

  14. OfT- thanks you kind sir....

    Barb- I am not sure if it is premeidtation, but it sure stuck a chord when i was looking for a re-post that would describe my thoughts of what is going on. thanks sis!

    Mynx-thank you milady!

    kat-I beer me's a bunch of people last night! and you do know i don't actually check the facts on the trending no!!! stuff really, right? so im not really twittering :)

    StephC- it took a lot to get me to relax, after coming off the road and having a redi-made stress levels steadily rose unitl my business collapsed in 2005-2006. that fiasco meandered thru my life for 2005-2009 legalities suck balls.

    one day i just woke up and said, fuck it, i can't stress out about it. some days it is more difficult than others, but this past month has reassured me to feel that way. it still takes work. i am a redhead.

    shelby- good luck! :) you can do it!

    bubbles- good on ya fro taking some time to relax! and do your awesome crafts!

    lyndylou- yup! and you have a lot more challenges than a lot of whinny people, i respect that!

    G-thank you! hope you get one!

    beer 4 shower-beer texts ARE the reason for cell phones!

    pearl- catch!

    rick- i hear ya on the idea, i just don't know that i really want to be so in touch with so much...this past week my carefully plannned routine hit several bumps. i cannot take that much more input that i cannot filter and deal with, i guess.

  15. Hey Bruce- I feel ya. I actually wrote a post about the weird side of twitter. And it WOULD involve a whole new level of input, so you are right about that.

    I guess I was trying to persuade you that there was genuine value to it. I should also mention that this whole poetry thing I have been doing on my blog is a largely twitter inspired phenomena. It suits my crazy busy life—these seven second "microblog" bits, and posts that only take a few minutes to write.

    Later, when you're feeling better, you'll want to check it out. I betcha! :)

  16. rick-

    i dig ya. i will prolly succumb to its spell sooner than later for the marketing appeal if nothing else!

    i have checked out a bit of your quick poems, and am finding them to be most appealing.

  17. Blogging>Twitter
    Keep blogging mate!
    I really found paris hilton funny xD the way you describe her is almost... reality?

  18. Good post! Yeah people need to slow down and take a breather. I found that out this weekend with MY WEEKEND as my parents called it. It was good.

    Now Twitter is just something I don't get...

    The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps

  19. elexerdelex-sometimes i find the groove and the words are just a flowing!

    AD- sounds like you and the fam got it right. loved your post about the vegas trip!

  20. Trending....Born this way??? I feel the same. Thanks for calling it like it is. Not politically correct but who gives a fuck i aint runnin for congress. Beer me!!!!!!!!!

  21. Bushman! here catch! just heading out for mancave thursday special wednesday edition!

    if i did ever run for office, i would not hide my love of beer, booze and the fact that i did inhale!

    stay beered my friend....stay beered!


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