Follow me on this..

TRENDING NOW!!!! TRENDING NOOOOO!!!

1.Mila Kunis (bitchyhot) 2.Jessica Alba (invisohot (again)) 3.Mark Wahlberg (marky-mark no more) 4.Savings accounts (who can afford this?) 5.Mandy Moore (MMhot) 6.Jessica Simpson (still not smrt, er uh i mean smart) 7.Squinkies (buy these NOW! buy these NOW!) 8.Holiday cards (send 'em e-mail or be sorry) 9.Burlesque movie (sounds to me like a skin flick) 10.Medicare (medihot) 

.

    If you are new to the bloggering world do not be alarmed, it really doesn't hurt. But you have to ask yourself why do i write? Cuz it beats playing 4 square on ice? Cuz it is better than dropping a 10 pound barbell weight on your foot? Prolly both, but I think the reason is…

AWARDS!!!!WE LOVE 'EM!!!!

  I got this one from one of my top 3 (but who is counting...) fav bloggerers of ALL TIME Kara...if you are not following her, I am gonnahavta send my EvilTwin over to your house and he will drink all your beer and sleep with all your wimmens...cuz he is crazy like that...

     WELL, MEBBE...most likely not...

i would like to thank my wife and kids and tucker and my followers and my agent and my manager and my family and my editor...

yeah riiiight, editor...that's funny...obviously you do not have an editor...

but mostly my followers...

(oh and Kara...)

without you i am just telling this stuff to my family

and believe me they are REALLY sick and tired of my stories..and jokes and stuff...

and without further ado...here is the blog...

   We all want to be heard. Seriously, we do. It does not matter if you are at work, at home, or on a blog. You want people to listen to what you have to say. We all blog for different reasons. We all have different points of view and different frames of reference. The common bond that unites us is communication. And we are artists, as Fickle Cattle, a blog I follow, so aptly put it, here

     Communication is the art of sending and receiving information. I know I sound a bit more technical than the usual lightweight banter but hold tight, I will get back to Bruce soon enough….

Like now…

    I have been writing this blog for about 11 months and my EvilTwin has been writing for a little less than a month. I started about a month ago to really blog every day. At times it is very difficult to come up with an idea, let alone flesh it out and worst of all make it interesting enough to read.

Okay. I lied. Wait for it. Funny. Now…

   The object of blogging is to be heard. And to be heard one must gather up a flock of interested parties to read your blog on a daily/regular basis. GoogleBrother calls these people followers. But in reality they are BloggersInArms or  BIA…fighting to be heard among the din of 6 billion other inhabitants of the planet we call earth. Kinda like the CIA but real people. And not spies. and not a part of the GovernMonster... So really nothing like the CIA…

     In the CyberWebberWorld, we now have BIA’s that we rarely physically touch but touch us daily or a few times a week. They visit our blog and read our stuff. And some times they leave us a comment  and as Kara says, well just check her out, cuz god knows we can’t be just killin’ kittens all willy-nilly     Our posse are the people that read our blogs. Our peeps…did you really use that played term…yup. You did.  Our BIA I am an applause junkie. I need attention. Kinda hard to believe, but yes, I do. And this is what I have learned…(and hats off to SimpleDude  for some of this knowledge.)

1. We like to be heard
2. In an effort to be heard, we become BIA’s to others
3. If we leave comments we are more likely to be heard
4. We like comments
5. We like BIA’s
6. We do not like the captchas

So how do we get more BIA’s?

That is a good f-ing question, of which I haven’t a clue. But I would guess…



This is you...All alone in TheBloggerSphere...
throwin' it out there...
seein' who bites



You
go out and find six bloggers
they are your first BIA's



they EACH find six more...
BIA's
thats a lot of bloggers
wait...
is this Amway?
i ain't buyin' no soap!



Oh yeah, that looks like amway. I guess it worked for them. It could work for us

but what actually happens is you~go~find~six~and~BIA~then~find~six~more~from~each~of~those~six~and~

BIA~those~and~comment~on~all~of~them~and~next~thing~you~know~you~are~BIA~with~67,980~blogs~and~have no~time~for your~own blog, dammmit!

Or mebbe try this:

Content. Pimping or BlogLove. Awards. Contests. Twittering. FB. Leaving comments. (did you check out SD yet?)( or kara?) make sure you do...my eviltwin is thirsty...

Dropping f bombs.

  When you leave a comment. Make it good. Be nice. Be kind. Check another unknown BIA commenter out. Read their blog. Drop a comment. Every time you view.Cuz we love comments. and Kara...and kittens...but mostly we love to be heard...
thanks agian Kara!!!

Leave your Name
Leave your link

Make it easy to get people to your site…

  stupid stuff i see and hear

bruce johnson jadip

thematic photography 125 sepia

TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!!!

1.Jessica Alba (invisoHOT) 2.Christina Aguilera (Latino hot!) 3.Arlo Guthrie (folksy hot) 

 4.Anne Hathaway (hathwayhot) 5.Tablet computers (techiehot) 6 Printable coupons (cheaplyhot)  7.Jake Gyllenhaal (boytoyhot) 8.Squinkies (wtf? NOT hot)

9. Jobless claims (the lives of thousands)

10. Sarah Palin (stupid things are said by her, doo-da, do-daa)

AN ODE TO SEPIA


I LOVE TO GO TO A HOCKEY GAME!!!
but the beer ain't cheap
and that's a shame...



spending like there's no tomorrow
if i run outta cash ill just borrow
cuz were
on the glass and puck drop is near
doesn't matter how much beer



mebbe i should have not had so many
could it really be like ten-y?

c'mon already drop the puck
as i start yelling Marlies suck!!

now i'm feeling kinda woozled
and my bladder is feeling awfully boozled

had way too many beers
and everything is
see pee ya
cuz if i dont go soon it will be
me pee yeah....

 if you don't like this

your crazy but....

most likely

YOU WILL LIKE

 Carmi's latest thematic shot

and his blog....

just another day in paradise....

yet another voice

TRENDING NOOOOO!!!!! TRENDING NOW!!!!!

1. Bristol Palin (go away!!!) 2. Kat Von D (who is this?) 3. Kyle Massey (who is this?)

4. Miley Cyrus (f-ing topless again)

5. Week 12 NFL picks (every one losses but the lions!!!yay!!)

6. Taylor Momsen (man i am outta touch, who the f is this?)

7. Andy Roddick (married to a hottie..way to go dog!!)

8. Health records (about that rash...yeah..about that..)

9. USS George Washington (major drug bust, news at 11)

10. Rental cars (free rental cars!!)

Yay! we have to shout out some bloglove to new follower Canadian Blogger Girl who is totally cool and awesome cuz she follows both blogs...and she has a great blog herself, so check her out...not right this second silly finish this first... let her know that you came from here...i will know if you do not...

as many of you know, i hear many voices...i also have many women's voices telling me what to do...BTW if you do not read the aforementioned links you may not get the gist of this blog...oh wtf...all my blogs are stand-a-loners, but...they are both good reads from the JADIP  blogs infancy...

i like to shop for the immediate. i do not like to grocery shop. that is kinda like work, what with the lists and stuff...i like to wage GuerillaShopFare. you know, when you dash in and grab a few things and leave. like the wind. in and out...with rhythm and feeling... purpose and direction...

but if i do go on a full-tilt GroceryAssault, it is gonna be documented. pen in hand to scratch off the items as they are procured...like some kind of ShoppingCyborg. i's crossed. t's dotted...one must have a ListPath...and of course *stick to the roads and stay off the moors*

i like the days when the sample stuff is out. it is a GroceryBuffet. then even if i go hungry, i leave full and do not wander off the ListPath...which is verrrry dangerous...feelings get hurt, things are said, mistakes were made...the next thing you know you are wandering limping back toward the house and your wife has left you in the store...with cart tire treads on your head and let me tell you, those shopping carts can leave quite a bruise when pushed by an angry red-head...not that i know from experience...Jus' Sayin'

my wife is a train wreck not as organized as i am when she goes shopping, but hey she does most of it so i am happy about that...in the event that i actually have to go all GroceryCartComando i am ready and prepared...and we all know i am the LastBoyScout ...

i always use the self-checkout. al.ways. cuz it is fast. and i do not buy a bunch of stuff. and i usually pay with cash. and then someone bags it for me in reusable bags. well not always in those reusable bags, but we do have a puppy and he. poops. a.lot. so the bags get reused...and even paper bags get used for that IowaCorn thing i do at an IM2BBQ...OFFS it is not sexually related...

if you followed all the links you are by now totally sick of my ramblings so here's the punchline...i always use the self-check lines and people look at me kinda wierd when i grab my balls you mean it is not  aself check for cancer since i am  a SniperShopper...it is all about speed, preparation, accuracy and a fast get away...sooo...what i cannot figure out is...

why is the voice at the self check a women's voice?

Tuesday with TuckMonster

TRENDING NO!~!! TRENDING NOW???

1.Lee Majors (the six million dollar man!!!)

2.Kim Zolciak (?) 3.Kourtney Kardashian (just go away) 

4.Jennifer Grey (dirty dancer?) 

5.Obama MythBusters (hes REALLY an american) 

6.Natalee Holloway (?)

7.Tiger Woods (eldrick what have you done now?)

8.Most dangerous cat (all of em)

9.Stock market (crashes into the sea) 

10.Denver Broncos (are being sold)

hi my name is tucker. i am a puppy. well, i am almost a year old now. i like to answer your questions...if you ask me anything i will give you and honest to dog answer...
   
   this picture is me getting ready for a lions game with daddy. i am wearing a lions jersey. it used to belong to mylibbean, the human puppy in the house. she is like 2 1/4 in dog years. she can drive. i can drive too. i sit in daddy's seat in the truck when daddy goes to get stuff and do stuff.

   i drive the car while daddy is on errands. he is gone for.ev.er. some days when i am driving while daddy is gone i change the radio station. daddy does not know it is me. he laughs and blames it on ghosties. i do not know what ghosties are, but i think they are cold and wet and on the end of my snout.  

   daddy and i watched the lions game this weekend. daddy yelled a lot. daddy made lots of gestures at the tv. daddy had a lot of those drinks with the ice cubes and brown stuff and more brown stuff...he calls them candyian whiskers and coke or something like that...
      when the game was over, he cussed a bunch more and we went up stairs. i went up with him. the we played! i grabbed a toy and daddy tried to get it from me. he is old and slow so i sometimes let him have it. what was that? what was that? what was that? WOOF! WOOF! daddy says i scare everything away...that is my job...i protect the pack.

     then we went out side. daddy had a daddy treat and i chased a bunny. daddy told me those fluffy long eared things are bunnies.i like bunnies. i like them a lot, but they run away form me all the time and hide under the deck. daddy also told me those other things with  fluffy tails are squirrels. i like them too. hey there's one now...get the squirrel! get the squirrel!get the squirrel!

    the other day I was outside. it was wet. not lake wet but wet. i like water. i was sniffing around and stuff. i came inside. it was 0darkearly. daddy was still in bed heating his back. he is old. like 7 dog years...he is no longer a puppy. old. old. old. he has all kinds of grey around his muzzle..oh yeah, so i was inside and i was in the hall. i had found a squishy white thing with a yellow head out side. it was fun. it was squirmy. i was playin' with it. playin, playin. playin...fun fun fun...i snuck it inside...

   mylibbean  walked out of her room. she asked me what i had ...i tossed it in the air and showed her. it was a squirmy little with thing with a yellow head. she screamed. it scaried me...she yelled again. mommy had to come and get the squirmy white thing with a yellow head. she called it a grub. i just called it yummy...
 

there's a squirrel...see you next week... gotta get it.gotta get it.gotta get it.

me when i was a little puppy

you said what in church???

TRENDING NOOOO!!!TRENDING NOW!!!!

1. The Next Iron Chef (qui-san!!!) 2. Royal wedding day (who cares?) 3. San Diego Chargers (suck)

4. Indianapolis Colts (suck too) 5. Philadelphia (freedom) 6. TSA (please remove your pants and shirt)

7. Harry Potter and (wtf? still on the hp love fest..enough already!!)

8. Oprah's favorite food (all of it...isn't it time for a diet honey?)

9. Ralph Fiennes (i always get him confused with the other guy, you know that kinda looks like him..)

10. Ryan Reynolds (is the green lantern)

     bloglove comes first...

     i would like to welcome a couple new followers to this little slice of dreamality....Krissy at Talkative Taurus and Sarah at Sandpit Diaries ...thanks and all that...    
     the blogger known as Fickle Cattle posted a genius blog this weekend and i agree this is an art form and hence... i will continue to try to keep the form of this art living and growing. i am thinking of making the blog a daily feature type of thing what with thematic photography on Thursday and TuckMonster Tuesday. but well see what the future holds... my commitment is to entertain...even if it is at my expense...  

    and speaking of the future, anytime i think of the future i always think of my past...and that is where all the trouble started. i have no  trouble in the future. at least none that i know of so it is all good...Jus' Sayin'

    but in the past...well, we all have a past. and we all have some things that we mebbe could have thought thru a little more...or done a little better...but being who i am and the way i process life, that does not really come into play. the seat of my pants are worn out from all the flying they have done.

     way back in the past, when i first started playing guitar, i was asked by my sister to play a song for her impending doom wedding. i ,of course, was jazzed to do this. it would be my first gig. stardom was just around the corner. big record deals would be flying in just like a "Rhinestone Cowboy"...

     this meant practice. practice practice...til you fingers bleed...and practicing with bloody fingers, is not as much fun as standing in front of a mirror, practicing your acceptance speech for whatever stupid award i would have gotten for playing a my sister's wedding. no sir...no way...

     the song they chose was the song "Time in a Bottle, by Jim Croce"... it is really not that difficult.or so i thought. i did NOT have to sing...and thankfully so..  too bad they did not ask for "Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd"  i could play and sing that one...i think the "tell heaven from hell" line was not acceptable for a church, or the particular event, but man that song is sooo f-ing cool...

     so yeah i did practice. and i had it down. as down as any FlyByTheSeater would. yup i was ready. my first gig was going to be in a church. with an acoustic guitar and a mic to amplify it...no electric guitar for this song...i wasn't playin' Smoke on the Water!!!   but i was playin' in front of all the people that continually asked screamed at me to...

"turn that shit damn thing down!!!"

     the big day came. the amp was set up, the mics were set up and i wandered up to the pulpit. i played. and flawlessly i might add, until the end. when i f-ed up the little riff at the fade. but not only did i butcher it once, i attempted to do it a second time...my mind screamed "abort...abort..." my fingers would not listen...they had all this time and blood invested and were going to get it...so for good measure...a third..all attempts were bad...horrific...and just plain hard to listen to...

    my best two friends, who are brothers, were about two rows from the front. they were laughing. and could barely contain themselves....i was not getting the ending right...and they found it Hi.lar.i.ous...

     and then i leaned down bowing my head and  i said....
     "goddammit..." 
right into the microphone... 
and paused and followed it with 
     "shit"
then my bro's lost it...
full blown laughter. 

     my sis maintains, to this day, she did not hear the cussing...mebbe she was being nice...mebbe they could not hear the mic'd swearing form the side of the pulpit...who knows...i heard it and everyone else heard it...she had to hear my bro's laughter...

   i am prolly paying for that little misstep. i have prolly cursed my lineage for.ev.er. oh well, shit happens..

my sister's marriage ended in divorce. i am not taking any blame for that...

well, at least i did not drop an f-bomb...

I got nothin'...

TRENDING NOOOOO!!!!!TRENDING NOW!!!!

    I got nothin'...NADA...ZIP... The FickleBiatch of the BloggerMuse has left my normally active mind filled with crap and garbage...

well, actually i got this...

      Why is a college coach getting use of a private jet?  Now Granted I like this coach. He is a great leader. He coaches for the MSU Spartan basketball team. Coach Izzo is a class guy. He has made the program a  great program. His success is nearly unrivaled...And in college now days it is all about the program...If the program is successful, the college is successful.

     WTF???

     I know that the program brings in lots of money. Millions from television and bowl games and championships. It is self funding...RIIIGHT. It should be.And it should help defray the cost of higher education. Am I right? Of course I am...

     I may be wrong about this but I am going to go out on a limb and state this as fact. The students that comprise the campus of a university are the customers of that university. They pay for education. Lots of money for an education. lots. and. lots...What do they get if the program is successful?

     Okay, They get a bunch of reasons to celebrate and drink beer and booze cuz the team just played. And won. Only occasionally they win for some programs, but whatever...It really does not matter much at all. I like to celebrate. I like sports. I like drinking. I do not need to spend a metricshitton of cash to party...

so you are prolly asking,

what is your problem, Bruce?

     I thought the idea of a college education is educating the youth of today for becoming the leaders of tomorrow. I thought that a college education is about eduction. Learning. oh yeah and learning how to party. i get that... but hey i can teach a kid how to party for a lot less than a four year institution...

nope.

It is about sports. 

And Money.

     I do not know how much a private jet costs. I know it is not cheap. Not cheap at all. Millions of dollars...Tens of millions. At least according to The Grisham Novel The Rain Maker...

     I love using fiction to prove a point. Cuz we all know the truth is stranger than fiction. And the Truth is a private jet cost a lot of money. Did I mention that? Not only is the purchase completely over the GNP of Dingglberryistan,  but the yearly maintenance and upkeep is prolly more than the GNP of PoorPooristan...Jus' sayin'...

     I do not know the exact cost of a college education in today's dollars. Nope, not at all, but I can guess it is over $10,000.00 per year. That is a lot of money. And why is it so much? 

     CUZ i said so... the self funding of a program is not truly self funding and colleges do not care about the client. They care about money...money...money... 

 so not much different than the rest of the world...

the TuckMonster and I double dog dare ya to follow us!!!