flash back friday 4 22

editors note: guess who is super lazy? 

me...

hey! wait! you all answered that kinda fast....

woofever...hehehe

a repost...

i has been over a year since i lost brown dog and the fat white girl...this is a tribute the them and the other puppy we all know and love....originally posted 4/26-ish 2010....     

TRENDING NOOOOO!!! TRENDING NOO!!!!

1)     Rachel Bilson ( who cares…cuz kate...is next...)

2)     Kate Beckinsale ( totally hot)

3)     Jon Bon Jovi (cancels his tour)

4)     Heather Morris ( the cat)

5)     Matchmaking sites (are a scam, everyone is a  55 Yr old man living in his mother's basement in Cleveland)

6)     Amy Smart (is not stupid)

7)     Killer bees (attacked by killer ants)

8)     Small cap stocks (are a good buy)

9)     African Cats (lions and tigers and lepards, oh my)

10) Earth Day (i burned leaves, dumped a gallon of gas on the lawn, changed my oil and poured the waste on my neighbors rosebush, and peed on the sidewalk…take that MotherEarth!)

I am a dog. 

In a past life I was a dog.  

In the next life I will probably be a dog. i hope not  a little yippy-yappy slipperdog, tho... 

It is another Saturday. I wake up to no Browndog. It is still difficult. They say time heals all wounds and I know it does, but...I still hear his Browndog rapping when I pull in the driveway. I open the door to let him out and then I remember the old boy is gone. He has only been gone for a few weeks, but I have been without a dog for too long.

     

When you get home the dog is always so excited to see you. People should all greet each other like dogs. Okay, maybe not the ass-sniffing, but the excitement level. 

“Oh! Man! you are HOME!!!" 

"Love me up!”

    

Life goes on. 

The company I work for is moving into a new office, and I have to go do some things at the new space, but I am feeling like I was over served last night. That last one always seems like a good idea at the time. It was probably not, but oh well. My wife calls me on my cell phone. She says that there is a dog expo at the Delta Plex. She asks me if I want to go. 

Of course I want to go to the used dog show. 

I WANT another dog. 

I am dog and I am a dog person.

     

We get to the show and walk in. There are so many dogs to see and so much dog shwag. We find a bunch of dogs. I could take all of them home. It is sad that people can abandon their dogs or their cats. I am not much of a cat person, but animals are part of the family. However, the human animal can be really cruel, and unkind. Just ask those kids at Columbine and all those poor dogs that didn’t come home with us this time.

     

I can watch a movie of humans killing each other. I can watch a war movie, or a horror movie. Granted it is just a movie, but still…I feel very little emotion. I cannot watch that commercial about pets that are abandoned. 

It kills me.

    

We check out all the dogs. There are so many sad eyed take ME home looks, it is difficult. We spend time with a couple of puppies. We see one that looked just like ‘Cino, but we cannot get an identical dog to one we just lost a few months ago. We move on. We find a setter mix that is sooo cute, but it is very shy. Too shy. 

The next dog we get needs to have some PERSONALITY!!

     

I find a dog named Jimmy. He is a Sheppard mix. I ask to take him out. He has some weight issues, he is skinny, and needs a bath. I walk him around out back of the show. We bond. He has some personality. He has some love to give. If it were just me, I would take Jimmy home. After all, a dog named for the WINGS starting goalie is not  a bad thing. Unfortunately, he also has some aggression issues. Jimmy is a one person, one dog, dog. 

We need a dog friendly dog. 

It is a shame. 

It looks like we will be dog free for another week, or longer. Dammit!

     

We are about to go home. We have seen all the dogs. We cannot make up our mind. Then my wife and daughter find a black lab puppy. He apparently was almost adopted. A family spent about an hour and a half with him. But then decided they didn’t want him. He was worn out, and sleeping so he was kind of lost in the shuffle. 

Libby says, “OOOHHHH! He is soooo CUTE!” We spent about 10 minutes with him and knew it was THE DOG.

    

He is a lab, so I am in for the LOOOONG puppiness that comes with labs. He looks enough like ‘Cino and ‘Spresso, but he is black. He is smart and already knows how to sit. He will not fill the hole in my heart that was left by ‘Cino and Browndog, but he will be a great addition to the family.

here's tucker!
and yes i really do have 100's of pics when he was small...

     

His name is Tucker. With my proclivity to drop the f-bomb, we may have to change that name.

Just another day in paradise

(oh and by the way, i did not do any of the things i said i did in the earth day trending nooo...

fyi...)

dude...4-20 jus' sayin'

editors note: this blog is about pot, dope grass, weed, spliff, drugs, and other things from my wildly checkered past. if this kind of stuff offends you or goes against your sensibilities, it would be best that you go here, today and come back tomorrow when i post something else that is either mildly less offensive or totally offensive but not illegal, or mebbe illegal, 


or whatthefuck ever...


youknow? 
yaknow?

TRENDING NOOOO!!! TRENDING WOW, MAN, DUDE THAT IS COOL!

1. pot
2. bongs
3. dope
4. hippies
5. drugs
6. bowls
7. gettin' high
8. joints
9. grass
10. weed

i mean really? if this offends you, we need to talk...

a little history

hippie new year

jus' sayin'



hope those of you that still puff the magic dragon, had a great new year...

that is all...

Just Another Drugday  Day In Paradise

tUcKer2sday (after the fallout...)

editors note: my comment box feature on my blog is taking a shit. i cannot type legibly in it to respond. there are those that say i cannot type any way legibly or other wise...i have tried but to no avail. rest assured, i am reading all your comments and laughing at your witty reparte, unfortunately, i am only able to respond in email replies to those that have the email feature turned on on their blog/google id...


sorry...


also tucker thinks he has won our little disagreement...please humor him...he is after all, just a puppy...


TRENDING NOOOOO!!!!TRENDF*ING SNOOOOOOW!!

1. Melissa Joan Hart (NOT preggers…just getting fat)
2. Life-size Barbie (just what the femmie whackjobs need to get their frenzy on!)
3. Miranda Kerr (preggers! You know it!)
4. Evan Rachel Wood (breaking up with some guy, possibly a lesbian er uh I mean thespian)
5. Taco Bell lawsuit (fuck me…seriously a law suit? just don’t eat there idiots)
6. Caroline Kilel (I don’t know who this is and I don’t care…prolly some hot chick)
7. David Hasselhoff (new babewatch movie in the works)
8. Tech stocks (dive…dive…dive…)
9. Manic depression (nasty shit)
10. Dog the Bounty Hunter (bails nick cage)

It is 2sDaY...do you know where your tUcKer is?

i smell the water
daddy says i have to stay
i see the water
i wait till daddy say okay

i am tUcKer. i am a puppy. i do puppy things. 

daddy finally agreed to my terms. we will call this blog the BlogDogBlog.  i am the star! daddy is the supporting actor. he will be here on the days that are not 2sdays...cuz that is my day...

ev.er.y.week!

(not really gonna change the name... just humor him)

i got 33% of the days...hehehe... daddy only got 66%...he is not very smart...i soooo wondeded...or if we do a  flashback i got 25% and daddy only got 75%...

(daddy whispers: i love that new TuckerMath)

and

i have  afacebookpage! 

you do not. 

cuz they only give them to cool puppies..that is what i told daddy..all the cool puppies have facebookpages! he said ok! i get all wiggily jiggily and give daddy lickity lickities! daddy says we will blog 2sday, thrusday, and sunday...with a flashback friday...here and there...

last week daddy and i went ev.er.ry.where. 

we went to the big orange store, 

the big blue store, 

and the lakeshore...

hehehe..it was rhymie-ish.

i am a poetical puppy...

it was fun!

playin

playin

playin!

this is a concrete beach
daddy just laughs
he starts singing
smilin islands...
i look good in the sun
and then..
playin!

we went to reeds lake and saw a dead reeds lake monster if you liked me on facebookpage you would have seen some of these pics. but not everyone likes me on a facebookpage...they liked me in puppyson, tho...cuz i am funny...and cute!

when a reeds lake monster dies
daddy says they drift up to shore
and the villagers
in EGR
will have a feast!
and sacrifice to the gods their good fortune
of eating
they smell kinda yucky
but that is what daddy says...

daddy and i went to the the ataxman??attacksman? i donut know...hehehe..daddy is laughing about something he said Krispy Kreme...

woofever and anywho...

he was not happy. i lickity licked daddy but he was still mad. i did nothing wrong, so i knew daddy was not mad at me. so i chewed up a bunch of napkins and a burgerwhop bag while daddy talked to the attacksman...

daddy said i was a bad puppy...

i got all wiggily jigglily and daddy laughed..the we went to the big lake. a lake so big you cannot swim across or even see across...there were lots of splashy things that daddy called waves...

the big lake they call majigan

lake Michigan to youz guyzez!

i waiteded
daddy say
okay
tUcKer!
go!

i wented.

there were lots of smells

good things to eat!

i gave the waves the international playin signal
they played back!
it was fun

i think i hear mama filling my food dish and i have to go now...

as if mondays dont suck enough...

TRENDING NOOOOOO.... TRENDING NO!

1. snow (yes fuckinging snow)
2. sucks (like a vacuum)
3. big (ginormous)
4. sweaty (stinky, too)
5. hairy (yep)
6. gorilla (yep)
7. gonads (arrrgghhhh)
8. it (spring)
9. is (in)
10. April...(Michigan)

Here is what i woke up to...

snow?
what the fuck?
seriously?

oh, and guess what else...it is APRIL..

THE 18th.
taxday and snow...

end of days, people...
end of days...

Just Another Day In Precipitidise...

Sunday Snippet 4 17 11

first off...

in an effort to make my blog a destination blog 

i am asking if TRENDING NO!!!!!TRENDING NO!!!!!!!!! 

feature is something i should keep... 

or ax?

be honest.

and remember.

i usually sometimes alwasys make a bunch of the comments that i put after the item up... (yes the items actually are trending 99% of the time...some times i will change one or two..)

i enjoy it, but it takes a bit of time...

i think many of you like it...

and i am a people pleaser...

second (usually i say  and "b" cuz i find that to be really funny...get it?)

if you have email attached to your blog identity you will get a response to your comment  more quickly...(syntax?)mebbe... because it is easier for me...and i find it more personal...but mostly cuz it is easier...and personal...but rilly, easier for me...


and C (hehehe) is for Stephanie C at Seriously?? reeallly?? seriously??  go check her out funny as hell and recently engaged, with a side of  LOL....


she thinks i am versatile...and i am, but so is the TuckMonster, and he will be taking this award and doggedly fulfilling the requirements... soon...

TRENDING NO!!!!!TRENDING NO!!!!!!!!!

1. Audrina Patridge (come on get happy)
2. Evangeline Lilly (drug heiress, has a drug problem)
3. Talladega (nights was an awesome movie)
4. Jennifer Aniston (is having my baby)
5. Tax refunds (cash it quick the USA is bk)
6. Neve Campbell (feels like a mother)
7. Adrian Gonzalez (has a girls name)
8. Donald Trump (fired)
9. Osteoporosis (is not fun)
10. Palm Sunday (fighting urge to make masturbation joke)

ten things i hate about tax day

1. it sucks.
2. it blows
3. our governmonster will waste whatever funds we give them
4. paying bites
5. letting them have your money interest free is bogus
6. it is taxation without true representation
7. did i say it sucks?
8. and it blows?
9. cuz it does
10. both

tomorrow i may be in jailz...for my anti tax stance

in honor of this awesome day that we all love here in the USofA

i am reposting a classic.

remember..lazy..

me.

totally.

fucking.

lazy.

i am not the fashion police...

(but i play one on tv)

not really.

it would be fun..

I do not claim to be a man of fashion. 

I am not the fashion police. 

I do not plan my wardrobe. I do not shop for clothes. I buy clothes when I need them. I have flannel, jeans, Hawaiian shirts, tie-dye, and t-shirts. I do love hats as well. Oh and I have one suit jacket that my wife abhors. I really like it. It is not very attractive to a lot of people, but it fits. Or at least it did last time I wore it. It does not see the light of day very often. I have about 4 ties, two pair of dress pants, and three dress shirts. 

And if I run out of underwear between washings... 

I am not afraid to go commando.

     

I do not have to get all Granimal to pick an “outfit.” All colors go with white. And black. And t-shirts. And flannel. But who really cares. I do not obsess or get OCD when I have to go out. I do not care what I look like. I cannot see myself. I do however know what I am wearing, and know what it looks like. I do have some fashion sense; however I have picked what I like to wear, because it is easy on my eyes when I look in the mirror. 

And we all know it’s all about me….

     

I know some people may question my wardrobe. But there is no fashion police department, so I do not have to worry what I wear. I do, however, reserve the right to comment on what other people wear.

   

 Here are some random thoughts. Things that make me go WTF are you thinking? First of all, I am sure that many people do not have a mirror in their house or do not look in the mirror before they leave the toasty confines of their abode. 

If they do happen to have a mirror it is a mirror that lies to them like in Snow White.

Seriously...

     

Maybe they have some kind of a funhouse mirror that is very flattering no matter what they wear. It is one of those reasons or they are vampires. Because if they looked in the mirror, they would probably not make the choices they make. Or they could be like me, and not give a damn. 

Or maybe I have one of those fun house mirrors, and I do not know it. 

Nah, that is impossible.

damn i look good!

    

If you are overweight, then do not wear clingy clothes, for instance stretch pants. Stretch pants look stupid on most people, but if the seams are straining like an anchor rode in a storm, struggling to hold a boat from smashing into the sea wall, I would hazard a guess that the pants do not work for you. Make another choice. 

Spandex is not an option. 

Horizontal stripes are also on the prohibited list.

     

If you are really skinny, do not wear clingy clothes as well. No one wants to count your ribs. Or see your knobby knees looking like a drumstick on an overcooked turkey nearly poking thru the cloth. Try to avoid vertical stripes as well. This is just common sense; you do not want to look like a walking prison cell, albeit a very narrow one.

     

All in all, the tight fitting spandex look is goofy at best and totally stupid at least. If you really want to walk around naked, then do it, because if I can see every fold, rib and muscle then I am usually close to puking, and that fashion f- up is the reason. 

Unless you are at the gym, in an 80’s hair band or alone in your house, you should not wear spandex. Even then you should exercise caution, because you probably look stupid at best and well let’s just end it at that.

    

No one should wear jeans that cost more than $100.00. If that is not a ridiculous amount of money for jeans I do not know what is. 

Jus' Sayin’ 

If a pair of jeans cost that much they better be the only reason you get laid. Or they should have a built in alarm clock. Maybe they can make toast and tea as well. At least they should look like they were not used, or picked up from a second hand store.

I will never wear jeans that cost more than $50.00...

On principle.

Unless runaway inflation makes $50.00 like $17.00.

    

However if you have the money to spend and want to waste it, be my guest. Just so you know I will not be impressed. I may laugh at your stupidity, though. Last pair of jeans I bought cost $17.00. 

Yeah, I am cheap. 

But I do not expect the jeans to get me laid, make toast or wake me up in the morning. I expect them to keep me safe from debris and hold my wallet. Not that there is any cash in my wallet, or credit cards, but I do have an operators license for the State of Michigan and a voters registration card.

     

I do not know what possesses someone to even think about wearing Capri pants. God awful. When I was a kid we called them flood pants. Well, flood pants were not really Capri pants, but they are cut form the same cloth, so to speak. 

A big no-no. 

Either wear shorts or pants, do not try to wear both, or some bastardization of the two. Except if you really can pull it off...most people cannot...

     

I hate turtlenecks as well. They do not look bad on the right person, but that person is not me. I do not like the tightness around my neck. 

Maybe it is my paranoia. 

Maybe it is that funhouse mirror that came with the antique dresser set we bought.

Just another day in paradise