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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sunday Snippet 4 17 11

first off...

in an effort to make my blog a destination blog 
i am asking if TRENDING NO!!!!!TRENDING NO!!!!!!!!! 
feature is something i should keep... 

or ax?

be honest.
and remember.
i usually sometimes alwasys make a bunch of the comments that i put after the item up... (yes the items actually are trending 99% of the time...some times i will change one or two..)

i enjoy it, but it takes a bit of time...
i think many of you like it...
and i am a people pleaser...

second (usually i say  and "b" cuz i find that to be really funny...get it?)

if you have email attached to your blog identity you will get a response to your comment  more quickly...(syntax?)mebbe... because it is easier for me...and i find it more personal...but mostly cuz it is easier...and personal...but rilly, easier for me...


and C (hehehe) is for Stephanie C at Seriously?? reeallly?? seriously??  go check her out funny as hell and recently engaged, with a side of  LOL....


she thinks i am versatile...and i am, but so is the TuckMonster, and he will be taking this award and doggedly fulfilling the requirements... soon...

TRENDING NO!!!!!TRENDING NO!!!!!!!!!
  1. Audrina Patridge (come on get happy)
  2. Evangeline Lilly (drug heiress, has a drug problem)
  3. Talladega (nights was an awesome movie)
  4. Jennifer Aniston (is having my baby)
  5. Tax refunds (cash it quick the USA is bk)
  6. Neve Campbell (feels like a mother)
  7. Adrian Gonzalez (has a girls name)
  8. Donald Trump (fired)
  9. Osteoporosis (is not fun)
  10. Palm Sunday (fighting urge to make masturbation joke)


ten things i hate about tax day
  1. it sucks.
  2. it blows
  3. our governmonster will waste whatever funds we give them
  4. paying bites
  5. letting them have your money interest free is bogus
  6. it is taxation without true representation
  7. did i say it sucks?
  8. and it blows?
  9. cuz it does
  10. both
tomorrow i may be in jailz...for my anti tax stance

in honor of this awesome day that we all love here in the USofA
i am reposting a classic.
remember..lazy..
me.
totally.
fucking.
lazy.

i am not the fashion police...
(but i play one on tv)
not really.
it would be fun..

I do not claim to be a man of fashion. 
I am not the fashion police. 

I do not plan my wardrobe. I do not shop for clothes. I buy clothes when I need them. I have flannel, jeans, Hawaiian shirts, tie-dye, and t-shirts. I do love hats as well. Oh and I have one suit jacket that my wife abhors. I really like it. It is not very attractive to a lot of people, but it fits. Or at least it did last time I wore it. It does not see the light of day very often. I have about 4 ties, two pair of dress pants, and three dress shirts. 

And if I run out of underwear between washings... 

I am not afraid to go commando.
     
I do not have to get all Granimal to pick an “outfit.” All colors go with white. And black. And t-shirts. And flannel. But who really cares. I do not obsess or get OCD when I have to go out. I do not care what I look like. I cannot see myself. I do however know what I am wearing, and know what it looks like. I do have some fashion sense; however I have picked what I like to wear, because it is easy on my eyes when I look in the mirror. 

And we all know it’s all about me….
     
I know some people may question my wardrobe. But there is no fashion police department, so I do not have to worry what I wear. I do, however, reserve the right to comment on what other people wear.
   
 Here are some random thoughts. Things that make me go WTF are you thinking? First of all, I am sure that many people do not have a mirror in their house or do not look in the mirror before they leave the toasty confines of their abode. 

If they do happen to have a mirror it is a mirror that lies to them like in Snow White.

Seriously...
     
Maybe they have some kind of a funhouse mirror that is very flattering no matter what they wear. It is one of those reasons or they are vampires. Because if they looked in the mirror, they would probably not make the choices they make. Or they could be like me, and not give a damn. 

Or maybe I have one of those fun house mirrors, and I do not know it. 

Nah, that is impossible.

damn i look good!
    
If you are overweight, then do not wear clingy clothes, for instance stretch pants. Stretch pants look stupid on most people, but if the seams are straining like an anchor rode in a storm, struggling to hold a boat from smashing into the sea wall, I would hazard a guess that the pants do not work for you. Make another choice. 

Spandex is not an option. 

Horizontal stripes are also on the prohibited list.
     
If you are really skinny, do not wear clingy clothes as well. No one wants to count your ribs. Or see your knobby knees looking like a drumstick on an overcooked turkey nearly poking thru the cloth. Try to avoid vertical stripes as well. This is just common sense; you do not want to look like a walking prison cell, albeit a very narrow one.
     
All in all, the tight fitting spandex look is goofy at best and totally stupid at least. If you really want to walk around naked, then do it, because if I can see every fold, rib and muscle then I am usually close to puking, and that fashion f- up is the reason. 

Unless you are at the gym, in an 80’s hair band or alone in your house, you should not wear spandex. Even then you should exercise caution, because you probably look stupid at best and well let’s just end it at that.

    
No one should wear jeans that cost more than $100.00. If that is not a ridiculous amount of money for jeans I do not know what is. 

Jus' Sayin’ 

If a pair of jeans cost that much they better be the only reason you get laid. Or they should have a built in alarm clock. Maybe they can make toast and tea as well. At least they should look like they were not used, or picked up from a second hand store.

I will never wear jeans that cost more than $50.00...

On principle.

Unless runaway inflation makes $50.00 like $17.00.
    
However if you have the money to spend and want to waste it, be my guest. Just so you know I will not be impressed. I may laugh at your stupidity, though. Last pair of jeans I bought cost $17.00. 

Yeah, I am cheap. 

But I do not expect the jeans to get me laid, make toast or wake me up in the morning. I expect them to keep me safe from debris and hold my wallet. Not that there is any cash in my wallet, or credit cards, but I do have an operators license for the State of Michigan and a voters registration card.
     
I do not know what possesses someone to even think about wearing Capri pants. God awful. When I was a kid we called them flood pants. Well, flood pants were not really Capri pants, but they are cut form the same cloth, so to speak. 

A big no-no. 

Either wear shorts or pants, do not try to wear both, or some bastardization of the two. Except if you really can pull it off...most people cannot...
     
I hate turtlenecks as well. They do not look bad on the right person, but that person is not me. I do not like the tightness around my neck. 

Maybe it is my paranoia. 

Maybe it is that funhouse mirror that came with the antique dresser set we bought.

Just another day in paradise










19 comments:

  1. Honestly, your blog is whatever you choose to make it. I have a fellow blogger friend who always lives the motto, "be true to yourself".

    Always write for yourself first. Everyone else is a distant second.

    Whether you decide to change your blog content is entirely up to you. Just remember that people visit your blog because they like you as a person. Doesn't matter what you have for content, so long as you like it, then it belongs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like Trending....no trending...even if you have a million babies by great looking women.

    Thankfully I don't have to do a tax return because they help themselves to it every month... I'm irritated already though to see my well earned cash is going towards security for the royal wedding when they are spending money on super expensive hotels, food, clothes etc... so much for being sensitive to the economy.

    As for clothes the worst for me is leggings, polo necks (turtle necks), t-shirts that are too small and the belly pours out when that person moves and then trousers that show bum cracks!

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  3. By the way G is right, choose the contents your happy with for your post or even what inspires you as its not meant to be a chore.

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  4. Thanks for the shout out, Brucie!!!

    I'd say only do trending if you really like doing it. We like your original content, so if the energy is better spent more personal writing stuff, do that. If you like trending, or are tiring of it, leave it for a while and come back to it.

    Whatever makes ya happy!

    Either way, I love your insight.

    I lol'd at "you do not want to look like a walking prison cell, albeit a very narrow one"...

    When I was super skinny I wanted to flaunt it because I am messed up and knew it wouldn't last. Years of eating disorders will do that to a girl.

    And Bud - I am so with ya. I paid $15 for my last 2 pairs of jeans, and $23 for the pair before that! It's gonna get doggy drool on it anyway! Ha!

    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?

    _

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  5. I read the trending.

    And then it SUCKS ME INTO what ever the hell else you're ranting about.

    Today was good, though. I feel the same on many points. I laugh out loud at dudes wearing stretch pants on bikes, zooming down rock riddled country roads. All of their asses look funny and I imagine they must be "bunched" up in there. Haha! Does it really make you faster? It'll certainly make you look silly when you wipe out on a stone down single lane roads that get shared with tracters and horses and... horse poop.

    I wish more people wore clothing that fit. It makes me cringe to see young girls (high school and a bit beyond) walking in bootie heels, buns hanging out, on the mid day walk to McD's. Gag. (Not because I'm jealous. More because it just looks so TRASHY. Makes me want to pretend I'm with a makeover show, and FIX them. Although that could be considered kidnapping. At 36, I'm an "old girl" to 18 year olds. )

    And I wish the teenage boys in this town would PULL THEIR PANTS UP AND EAT SOMETHING. There's an epidemic here. Skinny skinny boys with clothes falling off, and NOT skinny skinny girls just trying to breathe in the clothing they've stuffed themselves in.

    Jeans. All of mine come hand me down from the daughters of my girlfriends, or from the Thrift Store. Because I hate shopping. And I hate ladies who help ladies "my age" in retail stores.

    I bought a pair of $100 jeans once, a few years ago - and I cringe everytime I fold them and put them away. They sort of embarrass me. That, and there's so much extra stitching then in regular jeans. Maybe to justify the cost.

    All my jeans have to do is zip up, not give me gas from being so tight, and be cheap enough that I don't feel bad if I stain them in the garden or ruin them with paint.

    Capris. I own them, shamedly. They allow me to skip a day shaving my bulgarian/french/jamaican legs. (yeah, I said it.)

    Turtlenecks. No. They give me hives and I always feel like I'm drowing in them.

    Ok, I've lost track of where I might be going, and hijacked your comments blox.

    Sunday, For The Win.

    ~Lori

    ReplyDelete
  6. i can't have anything touching my neck or i get a headache, so turtlenecks are out for me. capri pants work well for me, though, because i'm short, so it's a good way to not have my pant legs getting holes in them from winding up under the backs of my shoes. :P
    i admit i only skim the "trending" section while on the way to read the rest of the post, which i'm more interested by. but it does help to have it there, to show us just where the tangeant began.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great one to repost. No pic of you in your fashionable splendor?
    I wear long shorts because I hate my thighs. You might consider they are capris, I just call them 3/4
    The Trending now thing is funny but if you are sick of it, get rid of it. Your blog, your choice

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  8. googelbonerguzzlejizzer is fuckign withmy commmenter
    so thanks for all your comments...mebbe i can comment later...

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  9. I love whatever you write. It's your blog, do your thing :)

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  10. I have bought jeans for $17 before. Everything went better than expected.

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  11. Yeah I'm down with other people too. Write it if you want or don't! If people don't want to read it, they will just skip it.

    I'm guilty of spending $100 or more on jeans but only because I DON'T WEAR SKINNY JEANS. (A. Because I'm not skinny and B. because I'm not 15). Trying to buy a decent pair of boot cut jeans for cheap is not happening these days. They're all skinny jeans so I've had to put down some good coin for good jeans.

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  12. I'm gonna go out on a limb here only because I have my spandex tree climbing gear on. The trending is something I look forward to every post. Sarcasm is my best friend and one other thing to add to your list of no wear clothes..
    Davey Dukes. Not Daisy, Davey. Guys who wear tight red/blue shorts with the white seam on the side. The kind that just barely cover your hump rocks yeah those. Keep it simple my man!

    ReplyDelete
  13. still have soem issues with my commenter


    i am loving yur takes !

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  14. With or without Trending - I'm hooked.
    It's your call - if it makes it easier on you to lose it - then do, if not, don't!
    My, my, that was helpful of me - you should know better than to ask a woman what she thinks - what were you thinking!!!!

    Okay - this post was excellent - turtlenecks are for turtles!

    Hugs, Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  15. I enjoy the trending, but if it is very time expensive or you're tired of doing it then you should do what makes YOU happy, boss.

    I hate capris and their "dressy equivalent" poleros, if some shit like that. Whatever the fuck they're called, they're stooopid.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love the trending but not if it is at your detriment and is too time consuming. Maybe as a special treat now and then!? I laughed my ass off at your Granimals shout out! lol. I do not spend a lot of money on clothes-I'm usually a jeans and phillies/flyers tshirt kinda gal during the week because I work with kids. The weekends I tend to dress up and do up the face but I really don't care what I wear as long as it is clean---probably why I'm single. haha. I never understood spending ass loads of money on clothes. Purses---now THEY are worth spending $ on! ;)

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  17. Well I like Trending No.........Trending No so keep it if you like it as what you like is more important then what I think/like......

    As a fat woman......damn that hurt daughter just Gibbs slapped me (slapped me across the back of my head)she doesn't like me to call myself fat....but I am a big woman (size 18-20) what was I saying..............oh yeah fat people should never ever wear tight clothes and Capri pants should only every been worn at home never out in puplic. For the love of me I do not know why some people have no self respect or as you said no mirrors in their homes......

    Now I am cheap and do not like to pay much for clothes and buy a lot of mine at the end of season sales as I am not one who worries about the latest fashion as long as I look nice and if my bum looks big in something I like to be told and if I but a dress on and I look like a side of beef in a dress I want to be told so I do not go out in puplic looking like a side of beef in a dress..............

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  18. I like the trending stuff...but it's your corner of the interweb so it's your rules...and in my experience very few people look good in spandex in real life...(trending nnnooooo!)

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  19. I think I look good in capris! My ass is big enough to make it look acceptable :(

    But yeah paying more than 20 on jeans is ridiculous unless they're like...bedazzled or something.

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