got milk?

Yeah...

It IS over-played.
Over-used!
Over-sexed...
Well, mebbe not over-sexed, but...

kinda like this nonsense...

we like to call it...

TRENDING NOOOOOO!!!!!TRENDING NOOOOOO!!!!

1.      Purple squirrel (purple squirple is tUcKeR’s favorite toy!)

2.      iPad 3 releases (Human Growth Hormones you heard it here first!)

3.      Giant African Ants (seize power in South Africa!)

4.      Taco Bell (Breakfast of champions!)

5.      Weight-loss (diets are for losers!)

6.      Suge Knight (I have no idea who/what this is and do not care!)

7.      Ochocinco (names his baby ochouno)

8.      Bradying (is like tebowing, but much cooler)

9.      Mortgage relief (like sand thru the hour glass…)

10.   Girl fights (are completely f'ing cool!)

edtitors er, uh, i mean editors note: There may be some uncomfortable adult themed bullshit bandied about in this post...I may offend your prim sensibilities...

you can just watch this and leave...and avoid being offended...
tUcKeR love this movie, BTW...
we watched this trailer about 20 times while discussing this post...
he is napping now...


but if you are wearing your big boy and big girl panties and can deal with reality....

It is a scientific fact that milk is a glandular secretion produced by mammals.
Mammals with boobies!
TITTIES!
Mama mammals!
Jiggily bits!
With boobies!
sweater puppies!
It is a function of lactating...
For breast feeding...
Mother's milk!

Lactating is not to be confused with latex...They are kinda spelled real close and shit, but seriously do not confuse the two. I know...Both can prevent unwanted pregnancies. Latex condoms are very popular. They can protect you from your babybattter meeting with your best girls eggs as well as helping prevent the spread of STD's...


I know, right? It's like a public service announcement...
carry on!

Lactation is a product of boobies. Boobies are sometimes fucked..Titty fucking can prevent babies...
it can!
latex is also a component of paint.
it is!
And painted boobies?
oh yeah!
Yummery eye candy!

Pssst...over here...yeah you... with the nice rack....listen up!
Breast feeding in public is a way to get attention. If your sniveling little demonspawn cannot wait to suckle on your titties for the few minutes it takes for you to go find a private place to whip out your mams, then:

1. stop bitching when I stare at you!
2. stop complaining that guys only look at your boobs not your eyes.
3. i like boobies.
4. you whip them out in public WE (me and my eyes) ARE going to stare at you!
5.fucking deal with it!

Notice I did not say Moobies...or man-boobs, for those of you still not caught up with the world of tomorrow, where we co-mingle words to make new words and...

aw fuck it!

Although I did hear somewhere that men could lactate...
uuuughhhhg...yecky!

moving on...

WTF is Rice MILK?

Last I checked, rice is NOT a mammal.

It is a plant.

Rice milk, is NOT milk.

Jus' Sayin'

I am really not sure what it is, but it is not milk.

I could be persuaded to call it rice juice...
Add some vodka...

Cuz...
When you make a liquid from a plant, we call it juice...
and add tequila...

Plants, do not have boobies.
I have never seen one plant motor-boating another one...

If plants did hooters, there would be a lot more plant fuckers out there...

And you know what?

I am sure there are MORE than a FEW plant fuckers out there...sick bastardyfucks...

hey, no means no, even if it is implied by virtue of the inability to talk...plants are our friends, but not our Friends With Benefits... 


okay?

I am afraid to Google or Bing it...kinda like 2 girls 1 cup...sicko shit...

However...The picture of Emily Malkin and Cindy Crysby holding the cup titled 2 girls 1 cup...


that shit is funny...

Can you even Bing it? p-l-a-n-t-f-u...you get the point...Is that even possible? Are there people out there Bing-ing shit and I don't even know it?

whatever...

And skim milk?

WTF?

Why not buy regular, real, thick and yummy, whole milk, and add water yourself? Thank god one tit is not like skim and the other whole milk, they both produce the real goods!

or mebbe they don't, one IS regular and one is skim...and that is why the world is so fucked up...

Could be...
I kinda doubt it.

(if that theory  is true, i bet Kim Jong Il (RIP) and other despots were raised on the skim-tit...)

Anywhat...skim milk?
The recipe is easy... Mix the shit half whole milk and half water and you have shitty, watered down, crappy-asssed, skim milk.

And you know what else?

You follow my recipe and you still have a half gallon of the yummery-ness that is real!fuckin'A honest to goodness milk! That is like getting a  half gallon of the good shit!
free!
you know FREE!

West Michigan's OTHER favorite four letter word...

You can thank me later..

And cottage cheese?
Good stuff Maynard!


and you know this kid was sucking some boobage not long before this commercial was made...(1983, for those of you keeping score at home!)

However...Low fat cottage cheese is shit!
It is the skim milk of the cottage cheese clan...

I imagine packing popcorn dipped in skim milk would taste better!
I guess you could thicken it up with a bit of latex paint...
It would prolly marginally improve the taste...

Everything I like is bad for me?
fuck that...
life is about choices...
and moderation.

That is why there are only two boobies on humans.
moderation.
I like boobies...

and we only have 2 eyes...one for each mellon...

And here is something else to consider.

Latex paint can cost over $10 a gallon...

Good paint, can cost more than $40/gallon...

Fucking glad we don't run our cars on that shit...

Just Another Day In Paradise
Just Another Dog In Puppydise