sunday snippet...2-20

TRENDING NOO!!!!!!!TRENDING NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

1.Leelee Sobieski (my latest stalker)

2.Tim Allen (funny guy gets new sitcom?)

3.Vanessa Hudgens (new tatoo = trampstamp)

4.Eva Longoria (very hot)

5.I Am Number Four (I am number five)

6.Diana Ross (her and all the kids on Oprah)

7.Michael Jackson (still alive with jfk and jim morrison)

8.Dale Earnhardt Jr. (awin would be huge)

9.Oil prices (go up as usual, then they go down)

10.Medicare fraud (dead men can’t collect)

This weeks JADIP blog is sponsored by

Becca

at

MY LIFE

I got an e-mail the other day about our 30 year HS re-onion. No, that is not a mistake, you saw that right, re-onion. Peeling the layers away we find out who we really are. In honor of my passing officially into the second more sexy half of my life, I decided to take you on a trip. (and give you a chance to grab some history)

Just a little one. it will still be too long. 

If and when I die, since I am immortal, cuz of the cyberwebber…if it’s out there on the webber, it is out there forever…Way back in the mildly famous days…i was a street musician....damn, I can’t believe it has been that many years…1996.. has it really been 15 years?

Pretty much, Brucie maboy, pretty much.

I never have claimed to be a great musician, and I am even less of a vocalist, No one will ever confuse me with David Gilmour or an Amerian Idol winner, but I decided that I would always regret NOT going out on the road. I had to give it a whirl. The plan was little other than write, play, and sing. Just the guitar and me...I figured I would stand out there and give it a shot.

How tough can it be?

What's the worst that could happen?

The night I got my first $5.00 tip playing on the street, I figured it was out of pity, but then, I realized, it is about the feeling, the emotion, and the catharsis that is singing about life. mostly my life. And I was hooked.

And I became mildly famous.

When I traded a couple old tools and a bit of cash for my traveling van, I took the first step on a trip that defined the rest of my life. I made a move to accomplish a dream.

I also received a break up voicemail.

Yeah. Some girl gave me the boot on a message. This was shortly after my 15 year re-onion. We dated for a few whiles. I say whiles cuz for the life of me it could have been two weeks or four, whatever…I really do not remember.

But I remember the message.

It sucked.

I wrote a song about this girl, (actually more than one.) I have taken the liberty of including both versions of one of these, a song called storm clouds, that Busker and I wrote this song on the beach at Jacksonville. Actually, I wrote it and Busker went for a dip in the ocean. It was his first taste of salt water. Literally and figuratively.




The whole thing came together in about 30 minutes. When the muse hits, it strikes fast and furious! now recording it, well, i am an artist...recording is technical...

I am entertaining a little contest. I will send you this two disk set. (a bit of history) Rules are simple. (remember petey?)

1. You must want the disks.

2. Ask to be in the running, in a comment.

3. I (or tucker) will drawn a name from a hat. (next sunday)

simple.

as.
that.

(I Think you have to double click on the song title, I am not to familiar with the technology.)

(since i am too cheap to pay for this stuff, if you want to hear the complete track of the original you can check it out here (storm clouds original (#2) and accoustic (#1)) (this link should take you to podsnack)

You can e-mail me at askevilbruce@gmail.com, and we can discus the two disc set...for the non-winners that are interested. (I used to sell them for 7.00 each on the MP3 site before the record lables shut that shit down, cuz the mp3 unknowns were better than most of the stuff they think we SHOULD like)

I will never be the same guy as I was before I hit the road. After a miserable divorce and a couple years wondering around West Michigan, I came up with the decision to do the road music thing. I will forever be indebted to my ex-wife and all the other women that booted me out of their lives. Had I stayed with any of them, I may never have had this little trip!

This little story for today and many others are included in the book What I Sorta Did On My Summer Vacation (WISDOMS V) not yet available in book stores but mebbe soon. You can read three chapters here, here and here

Wait…wha? What?

The story of my break up by voicemail?

Oh yeah...about that...

Many many many moons ago I went to my 15 year re-onion. It was late summer or early fall of 1996. I showed up alone, and was hoping to get a good, groovy drink on. I looked fairly awesome, having grown my hair out in a Sammy Hager-ish style and was wearing the purple shirt from this story. I was in as good shape as I had been in since high school. Well, except for the smoking thing. Hey, we cannot all be perfect.

But, Yeah, I looked good!

One of the first people I ran into in the foyer of the hall we were celebrating this momentous occasion was a girl I had had a crush on in sixth f*ing grade. I will call her Z. She was looking pretty damn good! It looked like Z was alone. I walked up and said hello.

Realize, at this point in my life, I was prolly the most laidback and carefree as I have ever been, and really had nothing to lose, hence I was just a bit cocky as well, so I immediately asked her if she is alone. I didn't want to waste any time hanging around with some chick with a date.

I know there have to be some other hotties running around.

She tells me she is alone. She told me she was not going to come to this crazy shindig, but at the last minute something told her she should and so she decided to go. I take this as a green light.

Houston we have ignition.

down boy!

Good, bad, or indifferent, her decision had a huge impact on my life. To this day, I remember fondly the few hours we shared at the re-onion.

I told her of my plans to hit the road. I was totally up front about it. I was gonna leave right after the holidays. She told me of her situation, and I may have even listened, but it is not anything that adds to this story, so whatever…

Time flew by and Z had to head home, to relieve her baby sitter. As we walked thru the door to the parking lot, I open the door with my left hand and put my right hand ever so softly on the small of her back and guided her thru and saying, "after you my lady."

With a wink as well.

Cuz yeah, I am a winker.

No, not a wanker.

Well, mebbe to some people I am.

whatever.

I then took her hand and we walked slowly to her car. Our banter once light, became heavy with uncertainty. You know the feeling, when you have a chance encounter and the ending seems a forgone conclusion. Obviously, we would go our separate ways. The evening was over.

one and done.

I am quite sure there was still a cash bar open in the hall, with a few more Crown Royal's for yours truly. I had chalked this up to another night that I would soon forget.

Besides, The Call of the Road beckoned!

When we got to her car, I lifted her hand to my lips, gave it a soft kiss and said, “see ya.” And I turned and walked away.

Cuz I am all cool totally geeky and stuff like that.

After a couple of steps, I turned back to look at her and she was just standing there. I slowly turned around and walked back. I gently cupped her face in my hands, pulled her to me and kissed her slowly and softly. I moved my hands away from her face and traced her neck, her shoulders sliding my hands slowly down to the exquisite curves of her hips to her luscious ass. I could feel her melt into me and our kiss.

Yeah, it was THAT kind of kiss.

To be honest I have never had a kiss quite like this one. And I do not think I ever will again. It was a forever kiss. I will forever remember that kiss. Mebbe she has forgotten it. Who cares. I will never forget the feeling of her mouth, soft lips and wet tongue. And the connection.


I pulled away from our connection. The sexual tension was more than palpable, as I looked into her eyes in the soft dim light of that parking lot I asked her, “Do you want some company tonight?”

You can guess what the rest of the night was like. I will not go there. I am a gentleman.

Anyway. We hung out like I said. For a few whiles. It was f*cking awesome, and a slice of buttered rye. Hell, boys and girls, make it two slices, a cup of Hawaiian coffee, and a totally sexual back rub, wrapped around a sleep in Sunday! With two, no make it three strips of bacon.

Yeah, it was that good.

The whiles went on. I went to the east coast for a wedding, and called her every day. When I got back we hung out, but the day of my departure was inching ever closer. I felt nothing but tranquility. I began to believe that I could actually fall in love again. I believed that I could have a relationship that was more than sex.

Cuz I am all romantical and stuff like that.

I had planned to go to visit a friend over the thanksgiving weekend and was on the road to stop by to see Z before I left. I called her from my $1.00 per minute bag phone to let her know I was in nearly there.

Big mistake, I guess.

She did not answer my call. As I exited the freeway I got a page. Yeah, a page. From a pager. My cell phone had not rung. But way back then the service was, if you can imagine it, even spottier, than it is today. I had a pager to alert me to the fact that I had a voicemail.

I stopped at a pay phone. Yeah, a pay phone. Back then it was easier to find a pay phone than today, and many of them actually worked. They were also a lot cheaper than my cell minutes.

I had one new message.

“Uh yeah, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

Oh, yeah, and…

“click”

just another day in paradise...