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Saturday, October 30, 2010

at the crossroad

TRENDING NOW!!!TRENDING NOW!!!
1.Catherine Zeta-Jones… 2.Paula Abdul
3.Billy Ray Cyrus 4.Camille Grammer
5.College Scholarships  6.Harrison Ford  7.Chupacabra 8.New Cars

9.Retirement (kinda odd that this would be here today...read on...)

10.Boeing 757 Hole

     One common thread in all this bloggering is how I view the world...oh wait this is my blog so of course it is all about me and the Dreamality I live.  "Oh ho oh-oh-oh you can say that I'm a dreamer" (Imagine: John Lennon) Actually the common thread is life. And life is all about perspective or,  Dreamspective.
     I admit that I often rant and occasionally (fairly certain) there are some things that may cause some feathers to be ruffled and piss some people off, (although I really do not know if i pissed someone off, cuz no one ever tells me so i will assume that i have..) but that is how the cookie crumbles.... 

i generally look at the glass half full, but sometimes i drink the koolaid and realize that it is less than half full...but what ever... except when it comes to certain drinks..armageddon-is-just-around-corner


      So as we all motor down the road of life we hit the occasional road block...we stumble and fall...and we get back up again... we keep on keepin on and then we come to a crossroad. Decisions have to be made...We gather facts and sort out the best course. sometimes feeling are hurt...sometimes a tie is severed..It would be great if Sheila could navigate the road of life and tell me where to go...Oh wait, I have my wife to do that for me...
 
i am at the crossroads...and the path is all but decided...unless...  
    
     I prefer my crossroads to be of the four way stop variety. A tee stop is even better...However, it is not always what we want that we get... sometimes our crossroads are more like traffic circles, AKA, 'round-a-bouts. Most people do not understand the 'round-a-bout. Most people when approaching a 'round-a-bout approach with trepidation. Some people ride in the 'round-a-bout for a few laps, some on  a PermanentPredictamentPath, and some zoo-zazz thru without a care... me I'm a zoo-zazzer...

In Hooterville MI, there is a four-way stop...
the people there have a very difficult...
no...scratch that... 
IMPOSSIBLE time figure out the 4way rules...
for fun we should turn it into a 'round-a-bout!!!
    
      I am a Sagittarius. I exude Dreamality...I love to fly by the seat of my pants. I have a devil may care attitude, and usually approach the crossroads as if the GLARING stop sign were more of a suggestion than a command. Damn the torpedoes or whatever else may be in the water. Well, except for sharks. I am still kinda afraid of sharks...oh yeah and those little fish that swim up your peter when your peein' in the Amazon River...ewwwewwwweew!!!

Oh, free spirit nature... that has never got you into any kind of trouble has it Brucie my boy.

     I do not always think of the possible outcomes. When I decide to step of the cliff it is with both feet. Caution is not my middle name. Except when it comes to work. Then I am cautious. I do not want to ever do a job that stiffles my creative side or cages the wild animal instincts. I love my freedom...I love my Dreamality...(not to be confused with wave/particle duality...Jus' Sayin')
     I have had great days and good days and okay days and bad days and a few VERY BAD days, but most days are okay. Most days I enjoy or at least do not hate my job. The construction trades has, (except for the end of 2005...then.Not.SO.Much...) for the most part treated me well. 
      there are good days and happy times and celebration. there are issues and crisis and disasters and .... i get thru it...what other choice do we have? life or death there is no other choice...you live until you die...as my father used to say...

bad days generally do not kill you, but bad decisions can and sometimes do...
but rarely in my experience..
i am at the crossroads... i have to make a decision...

    I have met some great people in my years in the trades. I have had some great customers and a few aliens, but whatever. I do not not love the job anymore. It is kinda like a marriage after the kids are gone. One day you look at each other and ask, "Who the f- are you?" The polish and freshness has long been replaced with lines and age spots. The joy replaced with trepidation and dread. i do not hate it...i do not love it...i just roll with it...(and write about it as a catharsis)

There is always room for growth  and people do change...

     The years have rolled by and the body aches all day instead of just at the end of the hard days...I feel like I never recover...(and before all you HealthNutWannaBe's start telling me it is my hot dog and Nicotine addiction, i know that is part of it) Yeah, I like the excuse to drink heavily and take a Vicodin or two, but seriously, I would prefer to wake up without a fifteen to twenty minute HotPadMassage. I am not asking for your pity. I came to a crossroad years ago and made my own choice to do what I do.

i have heard from a bunch of people that i need more exersize...
yeah and lugging a toilet up and down the stairs as well as boxes of tile, equipment, materials and supplies and tool bags...that is just a warm-up...funny how the people i hear this from sit at a desk all day.. 
    
     I sit here at another crossroad. I have been in construction for 20 years. It is what I do. It has been that way for so long I do not remember the other life I had before...the restaurant years are a dim memory... I have learned a lot. I have seen a lot. I have been a construction guy, (nearly half my life) for so long, it defines me.

is that how you want to be rmemebered or defined, Bruce?
IDK...

    My wife's cousin was a commencement speaker a few years back for the High School they both attended. I listened closely to what he said. Well, that may be a lie. I was in the room and I stared intently, but I absorbed very little. The gist of what he told those fresh faced grads was, "Choose a profession that you are passionate about." Sage advice. It, however has been a long time since I had any passion for my job.

i stare down the crossroads...in my youth, before kids and responsibility...
ok even after kids and responsibility...i would just go where my heart led me.
i would follow my DreamDuJour...the JADIP Dreamality...
livin in a van...livin on the SeaMonkey...
rollin the dice...

   Looks like I am outta work... The company I work for is going to close. It is not a shock. I have know this day would come for a while now...I refused to let it sink in... However, today as I write this I feel the shock. It is strange. It feels... 

i am standing at the crossroad and i do not want to look neither right nor left.
i do not want to go back the way i came...cuz you can never go back..i am not sure i want to travel on ahead...
i stand a the crossroads...

     I stare blankly. I do not recognize this feeling...I do not understand this ambivalence. I do not see the path. I do not see the dream. My dreamality is screeching to a halt and that kinda sucks...

at this point i am out of touch with my Dreamality and I am unsure.



guess bruce needs you to keep on clickin' and so do i
we dun gud on our first round, but
still more pppies to save and
bruce is gonna need to blog to keep
me fed...
love you guys
TuckMonster

5 comments:

  1. I can only imagine how u are feeling.. I was at a hardware store the other day that is closing.. I think I mentioned it to you..I can only relate to that gal behind the counter that was holding back tears...The only thing I can say, is as long as you have your family behind you and a support system (meaning relatives/friends who are there for u- emotionally and yes, monetarily u will be ok).. The handyman who was and is a god send for me was in the same boat as you.. Now he runs his own handyman business all word of mouth..and he is working more than ever... Where I live there are only a few plumbing businesses out here that gouge people.. Frank will be getting my business- he's honest and fair... U seem to be like another Frank.. so keep those characteristics and u will find another employer or u can be like Frank and be your own boss.

    ReplyDelete
  2. KBF

    thanks for the words of encouragement...

    :)

    i am sure it will work out...I have never been worried about what to do...

    i will make a go of it.. i have been a business owner before...

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  3. Well Frank use to work for a plumbing outfit that moved out of this valley.. Now Frank is busier than ever.. Its hard finding an honest businessman.. I've had two other handymen who were very honest...I lucked out and got Frank.. The dude that recommended him works for a major hardware store and company policy is, is that u don't refer... Frank was surprised, for a year, no word has leaked out that so and so referred Frank to them... Guess there is hope for mankind, they've evidently kept their word and not said anything...

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  4. goood for frank! and good for you finding a frank..

    it is nice to hear that there are still some decent people in the world that are not just in it for what they can get for themselves and can keep their mouths shut to not f it up for everyone else...

    i have made a lot of KarmaBNank deposits in the last few years so i am sure i will find something to do...

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  5. Fuckity fuck fuck. I think i am done tonight.
    Hugs

    ReplyDelete

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