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Friday, December 3, 2010

a mixed bag...

We interrupt the regularly scheduled brodcast of thematic photo Friday... 

this will be a newpost and a repost....
new post!  

     As many of you know, I am unemployed. However, I seem to be extremely busy. And not just bloggering. I have actually been attempting to find work, so my 14 blogs (JADIP and Bruce's EvilTwin) a week will prolly be coming to an end soon, as I will be actually be out contributing to society on a more responsible basis. and paying taxes...(So the banks can get bailed out yet again, cuz you know the Bankstards will f-up the program with their greedy MC Greedenstein approach to bankstardization...)
    That is saddening. Not just the  Bankstard thing, but more importantly the bloggering... I was really enjoying the never ending cycle of Blog/comment/respond/rinse/lather/repeat...  Rest assured I will visit all of the blogs I follow, and will still be writing. My hope is I can keep the frenetic pace and continue...

But if I seem to be MIA, it is only cuz i have to f*ing work...

I would also like to welcome new BIA's ..... wait for it...wait for it...

   Wally J at funooze  a family friendly blog with goofy fun with a good message.
   Oilfield Trash at Make daddy a sammich , intelligent and coarse, AND REALLY funny. He always leaves me smiling, even if it is at his expense and he misses out on all the leftovers :) BTW!!! Hey man! thanks for the bloglove in your post today!!!
    The uninspired blogger at the uninspired blogger, who is actually not as uninspired as you might think by the name...
     Please check these blogs out and then write a two-page report ,single spaced and get it back to me.

nah, screw the report, and just check them out...

TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NO!!!!

1.Danica McKellar (who?)2.Elisabeth Hassehoff (david)3.Heath Ledger (DEAD)4.Janice Dickinson (angie)5.Christmas cards (e-cards save the whales)6.Bristol Palin (OFFS...please stop googling this wench)7.X-37B (a new robot just in time for the holidays) 8.Disney town murder (jealous Minnie, slays Mickey)9.Ron Paul (coulda won)10.Obama pardons (Bruce's EvilTwin)

repost...(the second blog I posted for the JADIP blog)
Sheila the girl in my GPS

    I am directionally challenged. Okay, let’s not be politically correct. I suck at finding my way from one point to another. I have lived in Grand Rapids for most of my life. I still forget where I am going or how to get there. Anyone that has ridden with me knows I can drive. They also know I can get lost. Safely, well, that may be a point of contention.
    Google maps and Map Quest are great, but my laptop is not as mobile as I am. I have enough to do while driving. Smoking, phone calls, drinking coffee, fidgeting with the stereo, putting on lip gloss, taking notes, and breathing use up any or all the available multitasking ability I have. Add a computer or a bunch of printed maps and “Houston we have a problem” is an understatement.
    I tried the GPS on my cell phone. It was an adventure in and of itself. To be kind, it really sucked. More bars in more places? Yeah, right. When you lose signal, the GPS freezes and you miss your turn. Or hit something. Or just stop driving. Or throw the phone out the window. The phone GPS experiment failed.
    Since I travel a few miles a day I go to places that I have never been to and places I have been to many times. I am alone in the car. I get lost, and I have to pull over and find the proper paper map and figure out what street I am near and how to get back on track to get to where I need to go.
    Work is enough work. I needed to simplify. I needed to stop getting lost. I did the only logical thing. I bought a GPS unit. It only has one available voice. It is a woman. I named her Sheila. Did I mention I am alone in the car? Not any more.
    I have a boss. I have a wife. I have a mom. I have two children. I have all these people that like to tell me what to do. I NEEDED another voice in my head that tells me where to go and what to do. I NEEDED to have a way to get to where I am going. For mankind’s sake, it is best for society that I am focused on driving. Thankfully, for all of you I have Sheila. Thankfully, Sheila has a mute button.
     She is not a good conversationalist. She cannot seem to pronounce some words. She mispronounces the street we live on. She is insistent on how we get there. She does not like to take the route I want to take. She always tells me what to do. However, she never complains thank god for that when I make a wrong turn. She just recalculates the directions. And then tells me where to go.
     Today I drove in circles in the parking ramp. And not just to annoy Sheila. I actually missed the exit turn 3 times.
Sheila kept on asking me “when possible make a u-turn”
and “Drive to the nearest road.”
“I am trying to do that, Shelia.” was my terse reply.
I really NEEDED another voice telling me what to do.
I hit the mute button.
Just another day in paradise

10 comments:

  1. Sheila may seem sweet, but I'm sure that deep down she REALLY wants to tell you where to go.
    We call our GPS Camilla. When we ignore her, she gets all cranky and starts sending us down dead ends that are too tight to do a 3-point turn with a 7-seater. Bitch.

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  2. @ sarah- my wife has a penelope...that can also sound like a guy...and you are right, they are all bitches...

    3 point turn...i think of that scene in the austin powers movie where he tries to turn thr golf cart around...

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  3. I am my husbands GPS. I can find a goat track in the middle of nowhere everytime. We have had many such adventures lol

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  4. Just think Bruce...you'll be busy and productive in society only to have more stories to blog about! Try to see the silver lining in that cloud..haha.

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  5. You keep this funny shit up and I'm gonna have to become a regular reader.

    :-)

    Great post. I really should be here more often..

    Pearl

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  6. @ Mynx- your hubby is lucky...my wife does not like the way i drive..er, uh mean get lost...
    goat track in the middle of nowhere...you are funny girl..funny!

    @OT- no prob, bro...i am always ready to pimp my BIA's...i plan to have a pimp out blog coming up...i am hoping to post it onm (or about) jan 1, 2011...as a new year pimp out blow out!!!

    @ Pearl- good to see ya..i was also a person that spent a good deal of time in a desk near the teacher... i also spent a bit of time sitting in the hall, so i occasionally crosed the line...wlecome aboard...i will not try to disappoint you...

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  7. Ha ha... missing the exit 3 times... ha ha... that's brilliant! Would've loved to have been there to watch... :) and had a video camera :)

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  8. If you find a job, email one to me please.

    My cell phone's GPS had me drive into someone's backyard once.

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  9. @UB yeah it was quite funny...me too on the video cam...just wish i wasnt there..

    @Mrs. Hyde- i will email you one as soon as i find one..spending time looking, does not mean getting...nice gps story...

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