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Monday, November 8, 2010

beer and ...fortune cookies...

1.Meredith Vieira (who?) 2.Kendra Wilkinson (again who?)
3.Jeep Grand Cherokee 4.Dina Lohan (oh Lindsay, what have you done?)
5.Karina Smirnoff (ummm Vodka) 6.Derek Jeter (I hate the Yankees) 7.Rheumatoid Arthritis 
8.Amanda Knox(who?) 9.Bank of America (sucks arse)
10.Broadband Service (fairy dust and band-width)

    Today I had some beer. Yesterday I had some beer. The day before that, I had some beer. I like beer. I Like Canadian Whiskey more...I like Crown Royal mostest of all. I am unemployed so CR is out. Beer can be had fairly cheaply. And occasionally people buy me a beer...  
    A few weeks ago I posted THIS . (read THIS post if before you go on, or this current post will be lamer than it already is...)
    There are few things in this world that can make a bad day good, but good Chinese food is one of them. Fortune cookies are part of the ChineseFoodRitual. And it is a ritual. No doubt about that. When you eat Chinese food three things will happen. ALWAYS!
Other things may happen when you eat Chinese food. You can share these in a comment.
but please do not tell me that you will be hungry an hour later...
    1. You will have someone ask if they can try some of your food.
               duh. Chinese food is MEANT to be shared.
               let them use their chopsticks and grab some out of your box.
               that is part of the ChineseFoodRitual.
    2. Someone will make some off color remark about cats.               
                they will think it is REALLY funny
                they will prolly laugh at their remark
                that someone is usually me
                everyone else will lose their appetite
                there is more for me...Jus'Sayin'
     3. You will eat a fortune cookie
                99.99% of the time the fortune will be inside the cookie
                If you have no fortune you better beware
                      throw some salt over your shoulder and go straight home
               99.99% of the time everyone gets a different fortune
               you never get the same fortune EVER in your life twice
    that is until...wait for it....wait for it.... today.... until today...this has never happened in the whole world of fortune cookie world of ChineseFoodRituals. Unless you buy a semi-truck load of boxes of fortune cookies and just sit their day after day cracking them open and eating them. One after another...then it might happen, but I think that is cheating...and you know what they say when you cheat at fortune cookies...
you are cheating the devil...oh wait, i think that my Grandma J used to say that about cheating at solitaire...yeah, i think that is where i heard that...but the same COULD be said about cheating at fortune cookies...
 I actually had a fortune cookie Sunday, but I had already posted a blog, so I decided to post this today.
new fortune not the same as the other one i got from Chris...
i have gotten this fortune twice and my son had this fortune once...
is three times the charm? must be...
cuz it is....

and i did not lie about the beer... or the fortune cookies...
tune in tomorrow for....
TuckMonster Tuesday


  1. There is something just so wrong about a fortune that has lotto numbers and a web site... not like the old fortunes!that only said '--- noodle company'

  2. eh ... it's five o'clock somewhere

    trippy about the fortune, I wonder what the odds are.

  3. @ KBF yup...i wonder if anyone has ever won the lotto with the numbers from a fortune...i am going to play those tomorrow...

    @ MS in my world it is ALWAYS 5 o'clock somewhere...i just choose not to drimk....SOMETIMES...I have never had another fortune that repeated, (or that i this must be a sign...i doubt it happens often...

  4. I suspect that the fortune cookie company is recycling fortunes to save money in a down economy.

  5. Doc...yeah it could be that...or i could be the luckiest guy in the whole world...

    we will know tomorrow after the megamillions drawing...

  6. Love chinese food. Havent had fortune cookies for ages tho. Dont think they are mandatory here


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