AlarmClockFromHell

     TRENDING NOW!!!!TRENDING NOW!!!!

1.Boeing Dreamliner (crashes in the Burmuda Triangle) 2.Teenage Dream 3.Pat Sajak (died?) 4.Travis Pastrana 5.Wireless Internet 6.Black November (oh what now? is this about the stock market or is black friday just been expanded to the whole month...wtf)

7.Medicare 8.Hulk Hogan

9.Rachel McAdams (hot) 10.Natalie Portman (hot)

 NOTE: check the blogroll for some xcelent other blogs...and don't forget to stop by  Bruce's EvilTwin... i was gone this morning so he may have a new post...

      In our kitchen, we have 3 clocks in very close proximity. I like to call this area the BurmudaTriangle...our BurmudaTriangle consists of  a stove, a microwave and the AlarmClockFromHell. None of these clocks EVER reports the same time. Unless I go over and  adjust them. Which I just did. Well, to be honest I adjusted just the microwave to read the same as the stove. The AlarmClockFromHell, not so much. It is always 1 hour or so off...

     I understand that very few people really like alarm clocks. I do not like to have an annoying beep go off and takes me away from the world of slumber, nor do I like to be awoken by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Unless I am getting up to go fishing, then it does not mattter what kind of noise it is, it is a good thing that I am going to go to do, so okay...  

    The AlarmClockFromHell has a radio that goes off at odd times...like 2 in the afternoon. It goes off, I jump outta my skin, and hastily run over and attempt to shut the damn thing up. And just so you know, moving without your skin, while it sits in a  pile under the desk, is very difficult. Putting your skin back on even moreso.

     I know, you are prolly asking, "Bruce why don't you just unplug it?" I have tried that...remember it is the BurmudaTriangle and all that. Strange, odd things happen there. Unplugging does not seem to work...battery back-up? nope...MysterySpot  Burmuda-ish stuff, yes.

     One time, after a random AlarmClockFromHell encounter, I put my skin back on wrong and had three nipples. I think the third nipple was actually my belly button, but it was not long before the AlarmClockFromHell went off again, and I had to re-apply my skin, this time taking the proper care to line the belly button up correctly...BTW, I am pretty sure the third nipple was not my bung-hole...Jus' sayin'

     Who on earth would set an alarm clock for 2 in the afternoon when everyone has a day job or school? My wife swears she did not set it, my daughter says she didn' t do it.  The TuckMonster couldn't do it and I sure as hell did not touch the damn thing.

     Demon possession or the earths magnetic field must have something to do with the discrepancy in these clocks. Eerily similar to the Burmuda Triangle...mebbe I disappear for an hour when I walk in this area and the only clock that does not change is the AlarmClockFromHell

      AlarmClockFromHell is impossoble to adjust. Unless you have an advanced degree in nuclear physics or you are some kind of math genius, the damn thing just likes to report what ever time it decides.  To make my life easier, and I am all for that, I adjust the other clocks to AlarmClockFromHellTime. usually...

     Since we just fell back, in this neck of the woods, the AlarmClockFromHell reads 1:51. Mr. Stove and Mr Micro both report that it is 2:49.  My laptop reports it is 2:52. As does my Cell phone. There is something very wrong with this picture. If we fell back shouldn't the oven and micro read one hour before the AlarmClockFromHell?

    I did not even remember to set the clocks back this year. Usually I use this day to get and extra hour of sleep and an extra hour of drinking. Now I have to wait a whole year before I can take advantage of this phenomenom. DAMMIT! and half way thru I LOOSE an hour and that is not good.

    I will operate under the assumption that the AlarmClockFromHell is like three time changes wrong, and go with my gut. Both the computer and the cell phone say it is 2:52, and so that is what I will believe. Some crazy stuff happens in our BurmudaTriangle. Time stands still or moves crazily ahead. Or so I would beleive. 

     I did attempt to take a picture of the AlarmClockFromHell but it refuses to show up on the camera. Mebbe I went back in time to be fore i hit the shutter. Mebbe I was in a different dimmension. IDK, But I do know I am staying as far a way from the AlarmClockFromHell as I can... and the next time it goes off, will be the last time, as I introduce it to my little friend...I am not sure even that will work...oh and...sorry if you get hit by a stray bullet from the crazy timewarpage...