all the cool kids!

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Friday, December 17, 2010


this is the first draft of the first chapter of the book Adlulthoodness...i began working on this about six months ago, but ran out of  motivation...or red pills...

1.Michelle Williams ( is married to Adam)
2.Rita Wilson (I got nothing)
3.Michael C. Hall (who is this?)
4.Nicole Kidman (bitch)
5.Heating oil (not just for breakfast anymore)
6.Rosario Dawson (I should know who this is, but I don’t care)
7.Jilted bride lawyers (seriously? Really? f that!)
8.GM cars ( all are being recalled)
9.North Korea (blew up in an dong missile accident…
10.Cold treatment (OJ and Chicken Noodle soup…)

The alarm rings. It is annoying. 6:00 am is a rude awakening. It is sticking your hand in the disposal and having it turn on without warning. God, I hate it when that happens. Or a chainsaw falling out of the sky and lopping off your arm. That really sucks! It is an atom bomb dropping on your lap. Well, maybe not an atom bomb, more like a hand grenade. Not the pineapple type, but those old GI Joe German style grenades.

You know the ones I am discussing.

Granted, those events rarely happen, but in the world of YouTube, all bets are off. It could happen. It makes me angry just thinking about getting out of bed. Where did cool adulthood go? Was it all just a mirage on the sands of the mundane grind? Some kind of oasis hocus-pocus?

This is not the adulthood I was sold those years ago when I was a kid. It is not what they said it would be. When Sting sung “a humiliating kick in the crotch” or very close to those lyrics, I had no idea, that he was not just being a cynic. Sting is f-ing NOSTRODAMUS. Adulthood is not what I thought it was going to be. Shame on me. Shame on you. Shame on me.

Someone killed my Peter Pan.

There are many reasons to be disillusioned with being a grown- up person. So many that I am unable to count them on all my digits. Why did it turn into a perplexing array of wrong answers, stupid questions, and deception? I know it sounds like I am just venting about the political machine, but that is only a part of the inequality of this debacle. This is not about happy. This is about confusion.

This is about a giant WTF.

However, there is always a silver lining. For every bad deal we get as adults, there is also a good deal. We just have to work a lot harder at finding the good. Or maybe not. I could just be on some way-cool mind altering substances. I could be a blissful Matrix-ite. I really don’t know. Was I supposed to take the green pills today or the red ones? I don’t remember.

Damn this adulthoodness!

Just Another Day In Paradise!!


  1. Unless I missed it, there wasn't one single F-bomb in it. Very good!

  2. Being a grownup is pretty cool when you have kids and you can make them go to bed and do stuff for you. No washing up for this grownup if I can help it.

  3. completely off topic, i tweeked the Petey. Come back and see and let me know if you hate it

  4. Being grownup totally sucks! I wish I could stay a kid forever (I think if I try hard enough, I still can).

  5. @BB- yeah...what was i thinking?

    @OFT-red pills and green pills? but yeah, i hear without having to sneak around your parents house?

    @Mynx-i htink after the kids are gone is even better but i do not know for sure...having slaves er uh i mean kids, is a bonus...

    the petey is fine, whatever you girls have to do i washed my hands of that f*ckeroo as soon as i passed it on... heheehhe...

    @UB-i have tried, but i am not sucessful. it is almost as much work as being adulthoodness.

  6. Cool adulthood isn't a mirage. It just doesn't last nearly as long as they promised it would.

    Mine lasted four years.

    Good job, Bruce!

  7. @Mrs.Hyde thanks! yeah, i hear ya... mine lasted around two years...however, i get a new glimpse of it every now and then..


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