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Thursday, December 16, 2010

its thursday do you know where your mancave is?

this is a repost, because it is MCT and i have to get going soon...and basically i like this post and i am lazy...

1.Kardashian Christmas (who cares, unless it involves shoving a festivus pole you know where)
2.Annie Lennox (grew her hair out and got a real job)
3.Alina Kabaeva (who? Don’t care)
4.Angie Harmon (did Mark get a sex change?)
5.Nicole Richie (Lionel’s wife?)
6.Hulk Hogan (bald guy long hair does not work dude…)
7.Kwame Kilpatrick (wasn’t this guy the mayor of Detroit?)
8.Oil spill lawsuit (will settle out of court…the winner? Lawyers)
9.Broadband Internet (is a great investment…just like apple)
10.Mortgage investors (do not exist)

I am writing this blog after (actually reposting before cuz i am all time travelly and all that) Mancave Thursday, (MCT) which is kind of like a bowling league, it happens every week and there is drinking involved. This week we finally completed the paper football table. Not bad, it only took us 3 or 4 months, but a Mancave success is success nonetheless. It is kind of hard to complete any project when there is a hockey game, NCAA B-ball tourney,” Kelley’s Heroes” or MMA to watch. OR the Mancave is 50 degrees. OR there are too many daddy pops imbued by the participants.

Sometimes we do get over-served…OR the team doesn’t show…

Drunken blogging 101. Step one: get drunk. Step two: start writing whatever comes into your head. Step three: make sure Norman, the spell cjheckler is on. Oops I mean spell checker. See what I mean? Step four: concentrate on what you are really trying to say. Wait a minute that is difficult for me anytime. Step five: eliminate step four.

MCT is all about the project. (And the company.) Keep it stupid, simple (and the Evil twin is born)  Just like a bowling team, all members of Mancave should attend every week. However a few misses is okay. BLOWING OFF MCT EVERY WEEK IS LAME….(Unless you live three hours away)...kind of like bumper bowling…or rolling a 299, just one lousy pin away from perfect

I know you may be wondering what exactly a paper football table is, and why on earth would anyone make one. I have made two. That makes me either twice as great or twice as stupid…you decide. I know what my answer is. A paper football table is exactly like what it sounds like it is.

It is a table to play paper football on. The one we built has lines and a goal post and a beer spot to mark the “offs”. Three off and the other guy gets to kick a field goal. I know it is all coming back to you now. You played this in study hall and in the lunch room. Remember penny hockey and penny basketball?

I would include a picture, but techtarded is my middle name, so just picture it in your head. Remember back when I started this blog, I could not even link it correctly. Thanks to Chris B for the tutorial. If it helps, a football field is green. Not the color of Cookies house, but hey his house is a shade of green. Think Spartan Green. A football field has stripes every ten yards, is 100 yards (300 feet) long by 50 yards wide, so think proportions…I know that any rendition you come up with will suffice.

Our first rendition of the paper football table was actually the run off table, for the table saw, in the “original” Mancave. One night Rich and I played a game of paper football and decided to make a paper football table. It was awesome.

Strike that.

TOTALLY AWESOME!! The proportions were not quite right, but it gave us another option after our “project” for the night was done, or the game of the week was over. A game of paper football burns off about 3000 calories, so it is also healthy, however, not quite as much exercise as bowling.

Anyone that reads this blog regularly may think that I write all of my blogs in an altered state. They may think that every day is MCT. That is partially true, as the many people I am, while they have an uneasy truce, are constantly vying for the attention they so rightfully deserve. Remember I do hear voices…

It is kind of like a continual buzz. My head is like Alice in Wonderland. Well, at least the oddities that I saw in the previews for the new movie and the perception I have of the book. It is a nearly blind perception, as I have never actually read the book.

However, politicians have never lived on minimum wage, yet they think that it is possible to live that way. That parallel really does not work, Alice…okay so how about this…It is like 300 Spartans defying the odds…nope on that as well…

This blog is kind of like having me in the room with you. The difference is you can shut me up when ever you want simply by navigating away from the blog. That is what makes this interweb thingy so great, if you do not like the content, then you can simply go elsewhere. However, if we are face to face, I may follow you and keep rambling…Although I cannot imagine what other things you could do that cost so little and bring so much amusement.

And remember, we all need a little more amusement.

This seems like a lot of fun. Wwwweeeeeeee. Bruce’s blogger wild ride! Until I read the results tomorrow. Then I may feel a bit of shame, kind of like spending time in the penalty box. Probably not, as I usually do a couple dry runs and editing. Not this time! I am sending this out, hot off the presses. Roll the dice, baby see how it shakes out!!

It is amazing that I slur my words when I type and there is little difference between sober and drunken typing. I suck at both. Imagine that? I don’t feel drunk, but my fingers are. “Honestly ossifer, I am not as think as you drun’ I am.” Actually, I had only two daddy pops tonight, (talls, with a splash of coke) maybe I had three, but who’s counting. I should not have had that coca cola chaser…caffeine…

Counting your drinks is for amateurs. I am not an amateur. While I have a bit of a buzz, drunk is not a reality. Some things seem like a lot of fun when you are drunk. Then the harsh reality hits you like a 7-10 split, or a bazillion Persians. Or maybe 2 Parisians…Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I am not too drunk to think in the circular pattern that I usually do. WTF was my point?

Oh yeah.

MCT was a success this week. We accomplished a Herculean task. We stopped watching the NCAA round ball tourney, set down our daddy pops, stopped talking smack and worked as a team. The A-Team. That’s right Nabozniak, the A-team! We did all that just long enough to assemble the final parts and pieces. The sweet smell of success!

The taste of victory!

We rolled a 300…

The perfect game.

Just another day in paradise


  1. I wish I owned a house with a man cave.

  2. Isn't it in written law somewhere that woman cannot own a mancave, let alone enter one unless they have a stripper pole, dressed for dancing on said pole or did I just totally miss the boat?

    Hey becca, how you doin?

  3. Me thinks that Bruce is rather chatty after time spent in mancave.
    I have been told that every man requires his own cave. This was a subject of much discussion during our house hunting period.
    Great post gorgeous man

  4. @OFT- DUDE! we need to change that...i should fly down next week and we just need to build one...

    @Becca-yeah...about that...i cannot say no, or gotta take that up with the man in your life...

    lets' see what ib had to say...

    @ib-nice comment my friend...we never let the wimmens in the mancave, unless they bring a stripper pole..

    @mynx-yes yes they do. back when i was writing the first draft of the guy book, no one was talking about mancaves...if there is no mancave, that's a problem...


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