sunday snippets

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!
1.Japanese disaster (thoughts and prayers)


pause...a moment of silence...


2.Olivia Wilde (will be available soon)
3.Tokyo Disneyland (closed for 10 days)
4.Liza Minnelli (died)
5.Zach Galifianakis (man-crushing on Bradley Cooper)
6.Melinda Gates (pissed about something, who fucking cares)
7.Daylight saving time (forward is bullshit)
8.Flu treatment (nyquil, coffee, and grey goose shots will cure anything)
9.Aftershocks (more prayers)
10.Airfare (is going up again, greedy oil barrons)

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by

Chrissy

at

Images and Insights of Kalie's Best Friend

 

a collage of words and images that make you think and feel

A warm BIA (follow link to figure out what BIA means)welcome to Megan at  life-less-times...

Does anybody really know what time it is? The clock time change thingy has got me all befuddled so I will be re-posting a classic from the archives...written when we adjusted backward and gained an hour...oh that crazy timewarpage that is daylight stupid saving time.

losing an hour is complete bullshit...

spring forward?

bullshit i say!

total suckage!

withouth further ado!

the alarmclockfromhell!

NOTE: check the blogroll for some xcelent other blogs...and don't forget to stop by  Bruce's EvilTwin... i was slept in this morning so he may have a new post...

In our kitchen, we have 3 clocks in very close proximity. I like to call this area the BermudaTriangle...our BermudaTriangle consists of  a stove, a microwave and the AlarmClockFromHell.

None of these clocks EVER reports the same time.

Unless I go over and  adjust them. Which I just did. Well, to be honest I adjusted just the microwave to read the same as the stove. The AlarmClockFromHell, not so much.

It is always 1 hour or so off...

I understand that very few people really like alarm clocks. I do not like to have an annoying beep go off and takes me away from the world of slumber, nor do I like to be awoken by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Unless I am getting up to go fishing, then it does not matter what kind of noise it is, it is a good thing that I am going to go to do, so okay...  

   
The AlarmClockFromHell has a radio that goes off at odd times...like 2 in the afternoon. It goes off, I jump outta my skin, and hastily run over and attempt to shut the damn thing up. And just so you know, moving without your skin, while it sits in a  pile under the desk, is very difficult.

Putting your skin back on even more so.

I know, you are prolly asking, "Bruce why don't you just unplug it?" I have tried that...remember it is the BermudaTriangle and all that. Strange, odd things happen there. Unplugging does not seem to work...battery back-up? nope...

MysterySpot  Bermuda-ish stuff, yes.

One time, after a random AlarmClockFromHell encounter, I put my skin back on wrong and had three nipples. I think the third nipple was actually my belly button, but it was not long before the AlarmClockFromHell went off again, and I had to re-apply my skin, this time taking the proper care to line the belly button up correctly..

BTW....

I am pretty sure the third nipple was not my bung-hole...

Jus' sayin'

Who on earth would set an alarm clock for 2 in the afternoon when everyone has a day job or school? My wife swears she did not set it, my daughter says she didn' t do it.  The TuckMonster couldn't do it and I sure as hell did not touch the damn thing.

Demon possession or the earths magnetic field must have something to do with the discrepancy in these clocks. Eerily similar to the Bermuda Triangle...mebbe I disappear for an hour when I walk in this area and the only clock that does not change is....

the AlarmClockFromHell

AlarmClockFromHell is impossible to adjust. Unless you have an advanced degree in nuclear physics or you are some kind of math genius, the damn thing just likes to report what ever time it decides.  To make my life easier, and I am all for that,

I adjust the other clocks to AlarmClockFromHellTime. usually...

Since we just fell back, in this neck of the woods, the AlarmClockFromHell reads 1:51. Mr. Stove and Mr Micro both report that it is 2:49.  My laptop reports it is 2:52. As does my Cell phone. There is something very wrong with this picture.

If we fell back shouldn't the oven and micro read one hour before the AlarmClockFromHell?

I did not even remember to set the clocks back this year. Usually I use this day to get and extra hour of sleep and an extra hour of drinking. Now I have to wait a whole year before I can take advantage of this phenomenon. DAMMIT! and half way thru I LOOSE an hour and that is not good.

I will operate under the assumption that the AlarmClockFromHell is like three time changes wrong, and go with my gut. Both the computer and the cell phone say it is 2:52, and so that is what I will believe. Some crazy stuff happens in our BurmudaTriangle. Time stands still or moves crazily ahead.

Or so I would believe.

I did attempt to take a picture of the AlarmClockFromHell but it refuses to show up on the camera. Mebbe I went back in time to be fore I hit the shutter. Mebbe I was in a different dimension. IDK, But I do know I am staying as far a way from the AlarmClockFromHell as I can...

and the next time it goes off, will be the last time, as I introduce it to my little friend...

I am not sure even that will work...

oh and...

sorry if you get hit by a stray bullet from the crazy timewarpage...

    

Thursday Thinkin's

editors note: I got nothing. I am feeling a bit down. I am definitely feeling mortal, kids. Whenever I read this Post, I always feel better. and although you long term followers have prolly read this, more than once you newbies may have not.

Hope YOU all are well!

Here is prolly my favorite post ever!

Well, definitely top 5...

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!

1.Adam Lambert (is a jackass)

2.Tony Danza (is not the boss of me!)

3.Chuck Norris (has a new series called Walker, Texas Ranger)

4.Kelly Preston (had a baby)

5.Cap’n Crunch (is filing a lawsuit)

6.Ashley Olsen (killed the triplet in the womb)

7.Great white shark (gets braces)

8.guess who (will not be named…sick of these two attentionwhores)

9.Gabrielle Giffords (still recovering!)

10.Stonehenge (knocked over by vandals)

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by

Chrissy

at

Images and Insights of Kalie's Best Friend

 

a collage of words and images that make you think and feel!

I have always been an applause junkie.

I have always had the travelin' bone. Even as a little kid running around the neighborhood sans diaper and turning on the neighbors hoses, I have craved attention. High maintenance has been a word to describe me. I have been mistaken for Richard Dreyfus. Not the old guy in his later years, but the guy that played Hooper in Jaws.

I am not sure it that is a good thing or a bad thing...

Actually, the young Dreyfus does look a little like me. “Hey aren’t you Richard Dreyfus?” “No, but he looks like me.”

However....

I was that street musician that played in Saugatuck.

As many of you know, I used to be a street performer. That is not to say that I was a great street performer, I didn’t juggle or swallow fire. I did not do magic. It was not as daring as that. It was simply a venue to play my music; you know those simple folksy story songs. I did not do it for the money. Although the money was sometimes pretty good, I did it for the fame, the applause, the notoriety.

And, as I love to attest to, I was mildly famous.

It had its ups and downs like anything else. I choose to remember it as a great time. Not just to look at it thru the old rose coloreds, but because it mostly was. I had quit smoking dope, and saved up enough to hit the road in the converted Chevy van with my dog Busker. Life was good! I also had the SEAMONKEY my sailboat to live in…Yeah, it was the shit!!

I was Hey aren’t you???

I was THAT guy.

Nonetheless, I was a street performer. I played in any town I could find that would allow me to play from Saugatuck on down to Key West. Which, BTW, were few and far between, but then again, I did not look very hard.

It was more about being on the road than the destination. It was more about the music than the venue, but I even played on Mallory Square before they made it a bastardization of street performing with rules and auditions.

I played in Pennsylvania at some college campus. (Turned out it was Penn State, which has a beauty of a campus in Wilkes- Barre.) Don’t ask me how Pennsylvania could possibly be on the way to Key West from Saugatuck, but suffice it to say it was long before the invention of Sheila, the girl in my GPS. Even back then the shortest route was always the one I missed a few turns back.

I played in rest areas.

I played in St Augustine.

I played on the beach as well.
I played anywhere at anytime.

I played at the Toledo Zoo on Thanksgiving week end. Damn it was cold, but I made a few bucks and so it was alright. Somehow on this same trip, I also got kicked out of a head shop. Not that I was still smoking dope, or that there is anything wrong with dope...

I needed some papers to roll a cigarette.

They kicked me out for saying, "Hey man that is a sweet bong!!"

Apparently the term “bong” is not cool, or as they said, illegal...(as opposed to “water pipe” which is fine...just fine???) BTW...The LIONS even beat the vikes in a shootout that year on turkey day.

There was a great article written featuring the street music scene in Saugatuck, in the Kalamazoo Gazette. It included my picture and a few quotes. It was a nice little publicity thing. Once you become an applause junkie, it never stops.

You need the attention.

"Hey aren’t you that guy in the paper?" Holland’s little news paper also did a little blurb on me and the street scene as well. I was always getting peeged as hey aren't you.

“Hey, aren’t you that street musician in Saugatuck?”

Mostly, I played on Butler Street in Saugatuck, next to the Sand Bar, and On Duval Street in Key West, anywhere I could find a spot. Eventually, the Saugatuck gig became political and they moved us down to the gazebo, where it ceased being street performing and became a stage act. Some how the intimacy faded when I got on stage, it really lost the flavor of the street, even though we were only 50 to 100 feet from the street.

And don’t get me started on Mallory and all that, let alone House Boat Row.

And then I got remarried.

Hey aren’t you mildly famous is now a dad.

Scary, Huh kids?

Shortly after I re-married, Roxy, the kids and I were down in Key West. I ran into an old acquaintance, who asked me to sit in for a song or two. I, of course, said

"Hell yeah!"

As I was playing, the song Prisoner, someone walked by and said,

“Hey, Aren’t you that guy that plays on the street in Saugatuck?”

I smiled and said yeah.

Mildly famous.

Jus' sayin'....

Time passes.Again I took to the streets. I played in Rockford and again someone decided to write about me. “Hey aren’t you that mildly famous street music guy?” I guess being pegged as a street musician is better than being pegged in America’s Most Wanted, or in the Arrest News.

Mildly famous is not enough, but it was all I could do.

I figured really famous was a lot of work. Anytime your passion becomes work, it becomes a job and I really do not like the business side of music. Hey, I also love to fish, but I do not want to join the Bass Tourney circuit.

Like anything else, the street gig came to a close; it became a struggle to maintain the purity. I did some coffee houses and a couple gigs at One Trick Pony. I played at the singer song writer’s gig at Schuler’s Books and Music. Mildly famous. It is tough to be a “where are they now” street performer.

Time passes…

Hey aren’t you mildly famous is now a dad, a soccer coach, and the Regional Commissioner of the Cedar Springs AYSO. Hey aren’t you mildly famous became “Hey aren’t you that soccer guy?”, and a lot of other names I won’t mention to try to keep this blog close to PG. Yeah, being Hey aren’t you... backfired in that little trip down the parenthood path.

It was nearly as bad as being on America’s Most Wanted.

Time passes.

Years go by.

I have packed away all of “Hey aren’t you mildly famous” in a box in the basement. I have also packed on some pounds. Now I am “the Fatty”, Roxy’s (sometimes jackass) husband; Chris and Libby’s step-dad, Rich’s Friend that did this or that in stories for his ninth grade class, and a lot of other things; some that are nice...

and some not so nice.

Years roll on by.

I now look more like Dreyfus in Mr. Holland’s Opus than Hooper in Jaws. I have a new gig. I do the best I can. I am sometimes not very good at my new role, but oh well…I do try...

“Hey aren’t you mildly famous” is gone to live with Mr. Mo Jo Rison…

Recently, I was at the Kalamazoo Home Builders Show, doing the working gig I do now, selling and remodeling. I was standing in the booth.

A lady walks up to me and asks,

“Hey, aren’t you that guy that used to play on the street in Key West? You’re a little older,” she says, “and less hair, I mean no pony tail, but that was you, right?"

"I was doing an internship down there and saw you all the time”

I am kind of taken aback.

“Yep” I reply.

Mildly famous.

Just another day in paradise

tUckEr 2sDaY

editors note: the opinions expressed on this page are that of a puppy....

no representaions expressed or implied are legally binding...

i am a puppy....

hahaha...

i maded you worrieded again with my adultedness...

it is nearly summer
time.
daddy says i have no concept of
time?
we will go to the  beach!
i am wearing a
cape
cuz it is cool.
capes are!
cool...
some people may call it a towel...
i call it a cape!
i am a puppy...
SUPER PUPPY!



TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!

1.Palin parents (sleep with guns…too bad they didn’t use a condom)

2.Demi Lovato (getting fat = preggers?)

3.Muslim hearings (are getting heated)

4.China ambassador (falls asleep at meeting)

5.Gwyneth Paltrow (my latest stalker…)

6.Dragon Age II (sucks)

7.Facebook movies (are banned in most countries)

8.Brad Womack (loser)

9.Katy Perry (nice rack)

10.Day of gladness (seriously?)

  

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by

Chrissy

at

Images and Insights of Kalie's Best Friend

a collage of words and images that make you think and feel

i am Tucker. i am a puppy. puppies are cool. daddy's friend Mynx-y has a kitty. her kitty posted a blog this weekend. kitties are cool, but they think they are better than puppies.  so do bunnies and squirrels. they are all just wishin' they were...

tru cool...or trey cool.

like me!

they are not!

i am a puppy.

puppies are the bestest!

now that daddy got a new 'puter, i have decided that puppiness is one step...to....

WORLD DOGMANATION!

go vote for me and daddy now if you haver not alreadies doned this!~

daddy and i went all over the place this week but daddy is so lame that all of his pictures of me on ginormous snow mountains did not turn out at all! he said it is cuz i am so fast, cuz puppies are fast, and move like the wind. i do. i am a puppy.

i have lots of puppiness.

we did go many places and i made many more people my friends. ev.er.y.bo.dy! loves me!

puppiness!

saturday the snow was melting and it was raining, so the garage got floodeded. daddy made lots of frowning faces and said lots of cussing. i am begining to think daddy does not like ice. he said lots of cusses when the REDWINGS lost after being up 4-1 heading into the third...

they play hockey on ice, don't they?

i lickity lickity daddy and he laughed.

while daddy was preventing the house from flooding and  was not paying much attention, i got on the 'puter and played with the video stuff. 

i made a little movie for your enjoyment! 

see you next week when we discuss very importanter stuff about things...

hahaha

got you again...

you thought mebbe i was growed up

mfft monday 3 07

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!
1.Kenny Rogers (Gambles on a eight sequel…he will lose)

2.Vanessa Hudgens (preggers, broke up, fat, skinny, sick, drunk…I just don’t giva damn)
3.Miley Cyrus (kissed a girl and liked it, too…hey! I can respect that)
4.Jason Ritter (likes to twitter)
5.Skippy peanut butter ( I like Jif)
6.Charlie Sheen (is getting boring, where is Lindsey when you need her?)
7.Glenn Beck (SAYS NOTHING YET HE IS ALWAYS TALKING)
8.12,000-year-old tools (are really f*ing old)
9.Alien fossils (are not of this earth)
10.Angry Birds (are not happy)

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by

Chrissy

at

Images and Insights of Kalie's Best Friend

 

a collage of words and images that make you think and feel

I am sure that i have had bettter days, but i am sure i have had worse. i went to see my friend VoHo...he is a quad. if you have not heard his story...VoHo can you hear me. it is a long rambling post... 

a quick poem for you all...

tough stuff...

stuff is 

                                   all

                                   just stuff...

here.

what is tough?                        tough stuff.

is just what we sea'd. 
the sun. the water, the waves.

beers...

where?                                       

               stuff there. forever we would sit.

stuffed shirt.
no shirt!

              stuffed chair.
folding chair

                           sit.    

                                     now                   wheeled.

loss of stuff.

stand.

no longer.

                stay. wait.

stop.                         

                                 2 we sea'd? sight.right?might.

might?

we

go

                   study. learn.                          stop.                listen.

steady hands...

unable to move.

the mountain.

in my way.
in our way.
in the way.

most days i don't.

                                                            feel/think/know

what

                                             stuff is                                  

                     going to be tougher stuff...

last time?

                                         i was toughed up?

i am going to be here.

there. where. we said!

                                       when you come back.

                            in that stuffed chair.

wheeled up.

and tough.

enough...

???????~fini~?????

i will be here...it is just another day in paradise?

yes, it is and

i am living...
a dream...

JADIP!

sunday snippet 3 06

TRENDING NO!!!!TRENDING NOOOO!!!
1.Anna Faris (hot! very hot!)
2.Miley Cyrus (preggers, is her father is the father? If so, would she be a father f*cker?)
3.Heart Attack Grill (stock plummets after spokesman dies)
4.Gary Busey (has a heart attack)
5.Bedbugs (bite, don’t ya wish they would just nibble?)
6.Courtney Love (hole is an adequate description)
7.Isla Fisher (loves me, and I love her…hellz yeah! cuz she is hot!!!!)
8.Airline pretzels (discontinued, due to high cost)
9.Flu (the fifth season)
10.Wisconsin layoffs (and the economy just keeps getting better and better.)

this week the JADIP blog is sponsored by

The Empress

at

the ranter's box!

 

she is the wordperv queen, all around funny, and insightful...

stop by and say hi!

I got a new 'puter today. The old one was just too slow and froze up too easily!

It has been a struggle to get it set up....

right outta the box, my ass.

Oh and by the way, windows 7 is a much more difficult thing than I thought it would be. I am not sure I like it. I am  getting used to the old keyboard, but I really haver to re-learn the touch.

But the worst thing is the drivers for the printer, a lexmark, do not work, and the disc was not loading and well..fuck me freddy...

It is fast as shit, though, and that makes it all worth it? I can look at your posts at uberspeed now...

still cannot type for shit...

see ya's all later!

Just Another Day In Paradise!