MFFT MONDAY 1 31

editors note: profanity and stuff in this post may offend some of you. sorry...we will be back to normal tomorrow nearly profanity free with 2sday with Tucker...

TRENDING NO!!!!!!! TRENDING NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1.Robin Wright (non acting career, is stalled out. Talks to redbook)
2.Demi Lovato (imagine that she is getting out of treatment)
3.Scott Bakula (makes the toast at SAG’s)
4.Gabrielle Gifford (husband to fly space shuttle in arpil?)
5.Tax preparation (fuck the IRS)
6.Donald Sutherland (at 75, still does his own stunts…in a wheel chair)
7.Ricky Martin (has syphillis)
8.Bubble Wrap Appreciation day(see here)
9.Valentine flowers(f*ing scam, don’t buy any!)
10.Atalnta Falcons (will be at the super bowl, as spectators)

This week the JADIP blog is sponsored by Morgan

at
The Adorkable Ditz's Missteps
stop by and say hi!

I was bestowed another award. it is truly and honor and a privilege to be considered funny by so many people.  

Amber at blah coo coo blah
presented me with this award...



thank you! amber at
 blah coo coo blah



The rules: (copy and paste for the new recipients.)

1. Link back to presenter either with sidebar link or in the your blog. (done)

2. Tell 7 interesting things that no one knows about you. (see below)

3. Pass on to 7 other blogs that mke you either LOL or at least giggle...

(with the 4 blogs I write, I have recieved this 6 times, and while I am flattered beyond belief, I am unable to pass this on to 7 that I have not already passed it to...at this time...sorry... I will do so in the future...in the guybook blog)

4. Tell them in an e-mail or in a comment on their blog. (see note above)

But I do have something to say... here is my weekly food for thought!

Live your life like there is no tomorrow! cliche, yup, but so very true!

okay, not very edible but....

I have been sorta ill for the past month. While I do not want this blog to be about "my poor me."  or a testament to all the ills in my life, or a feel sorry for me list of bad stuff...I do not want any pity or  that kinda stuff. I will divulge this to you my friends and loyal listeners. Since October my life has kinda sucked, and it has been a very difficult time. But I made a vow that this blog would never be about knitting, quilting, my hamster's finger painting, or a daily rant about how fucked my life is.

I try to make you all laugh, cuz I really do not want to cry...

In October, I started really devoting attention to writing blogs. It was the only way I saw to make sense of the world, by trying to find the positive.

I chose to reveal some of the stuff, but not dwell on it, but suffice it to say, the awards and the followings and the praise has been a bright spot in my life. I started this blog with the idea that it would be upbeat and satirical, not a daily dose of "oh poor me." People ask how does he do it? Write 4 blogs and keep up. simple...I need the release to keep my mind off of the shitstorm... (and I have a routine!)

Here it is:

1. October: not only does my boat, the BASSMONKEY take a shit, and I do not have the money to fix it,(yeah, I live for fishing the few months it is availabel to me, cuz ice fishing  sucks) one of my longest standing friends VoHo (40 years of friendship) nearly dies in an accident. He is still not back to even 50%, may never walk again, but he did not die! WinterCamping last weekend, was a wierd thing without him...and it really sucks. hey it is not me, but to see him in that bed, well, fuck me Freddy, that really sucks...

2. October: The guy that is my other bestie (43 years) tells me on the same day as he tells me of VoHo's accident, (also his best friend) that he is getting divorced cuz he caught his wife in an affair. fuckity fuck! His wife and my wife are besties, and his wife is a good friend of mine as well...oh, the unfairity...I know, it is not me, again, but it is my life. Believe me, it is hard to not make their problems our problems. It causes some great stress.

Thankfully I have alcohol additction!

3. November: the pricks at google brother pull the pin on my adsense, wherein I was planning on donating half the ad revenue to the Safe Haven Humane Society, in the TuckMonster's name! Yeah, we had just crossed the $100.00 threshold, so they fucking owed me! and I had posted a big "I'm gonna write a check blah blah thingy!" THAT really pissed me off!

4. November: I lose my job. Yeah, I know, you all kinda know that.  But it is still a fuckeroo. It was fortunately not a total surprise, but it sucked none-the-less.

I also started the evil twin blog, to rant and cuss, cuz that is also part of who I am.

AND my BIA, give me some awards and I feel Loved!

5. December: I turn 48. I know, right???....ooooohhh 48. Isn't that kinda like the new 28 or at least 38? i also lose my health insurance, cuz it was only paid up thru the end of November.Thank god i'm superman! While convalescing from the years of physically abusing my body on  a daily basis, (read: being on unenjoyment) I of course, get sick. Since I have no health insurance, I just wait it out. I subscribe to the idea that a higher Blood Alcohol Level will do the trick! No, not so much, but eventually I get better.

I manage to survive the holidays and we have a merry and all that, even with the furnace bullshit!

6. January: The old year ends with a Wings loss coupled with my teen daughters NYE party. 10 or so teenies (in the 16ish range) and lots of noise. It is okay, tho' at least they were here. Back in the day, the parties were at my house, cuz of the ease (my parents were lushes) of getting boozed up. All kidding aside, It really looked like a great start of the NY. I felt refreshed! Time to start re-upping my business. I AM so much smarter than I was in 2005, when I lost a half million and my business of 14 years! Things were gonna be great! 

Then I find a lump. It is only January 2nd. So much for the great start.

I go to the doctor. He is usually a fairly easy going guy. Not this time. When he says this is serious, I sober up (people). "You need an ultra sound. Tommorow."

I get the ultrasound, but the doc is not available to talk to until Thursday. There are few things that are more stressful than waiting for test results.   Very few. Longest. 48. hours. ever.

Again, thankfully I have an addiction to alcohol.

When you call the office to get your test results and they say you have to wait for the doc, that is not a very good thing. It is usally bad news. The doctor comse to the phone.

"I have you scheduled for surgery on January 10th. The test says there is definitly a mass. I am 90% sure it is cancer. We need to cut it out." 

7. I have cancer. (don't tell tucker he doesn't know)

My mind goes blank. I have nothing. No fucking witty quip, no snappy reparte. I am not so shocked, but I can only say to myself...now what?  

I reiterate that I do not have insurance. I do not have a job. I cannot afford this.

"You will not have to worry about anything if you do not get this taken care of. It will kill you." The choice is simple. I have to get the surgery, I have to get the mass removed.

I say "See ya Monday, I guess..." Yup, I showed up and got cut! AND I got a 'script to Vicodin! AND I quit smoking! 21 days today!

So, if I left any inappropriate or really stupid/goofy comments in the past couple weeks, it was prolly the Vicodin talking. On several occasions I found myself sleeping in mid comment. Sometimes I ended up on other websites, while I thought I was commenting. It was odd to say the least!

I tried to keep up with you all. If I said something that seems like a bit sappy, and you were confused, because I am not a sentimental guy, this post should help you understand where my head is and has been at...I have had my days, and some have been better than others, but overall, the waiting is a killer.

I am slowly getting back to normal. I am surprised how long it is taking to recover. I even had to come home early from my three days in the woods WinterCamping guys weekend. I am still not feeling well. I can make it about three hours before I need to rest... No stamina, and my lungs are still in bad shape from years of smoking...

I am telling you this cuz I care about the friendships I have made in the past 3 months, that have helped me thru this rather trying time. I will, however, have to focus more on  things other than bloggering. (Getting work) I may not be able to comment or respond to comments as much as in the past. I will try to keep up with you all. I will definitely be reading you all...

Long story short, the prognosis is very good! They think they got it all. I am very relieved. Yet still cautious. There will be more follow up appointments and stuff, but no chemo, no other surgeries. (at least at present) The first year is the hardest, but my doc says it is all good! 

Then the bills start coming. I have no idea how I will pay for any of this. 

I can say this tho'

another day alive is