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Monday, December 20, 2010

monday food for thought

1.Julianne Hough (hot)
2.Shania Twain (hot)
3.2011 predictions (the world ends)
4.Betty White (hot)
5.Brett Favre (brain dead)
6.Bill Cowher (next coach of the cowboys)
7.Bret Michaels (NOT dead)
8.Lunar eclipse (everyone gets MOONED)
9.Chocolate (I am allergic to chocolate)
10.terrorist attack at mall (psych!)

As a guy that likes to have as much structure in my life as possible, I am considering this day, Monday, to from now and henceforth, be known as Monday Food for Thought . (MFfT pronounced mufft) or until i change my mind Or in the realm of redundancy Monday Food for Thought Monday. Then we could call it MFfT Monday...whatever..

And Speaking of redundancy, one of my BIA is dealing with this very facet of life and could use your help. Please stop by and say hi to an uninspired blogger and give her a cheery word or two!!

You may ask why all the structure, in The Guy Book, I talk of a hatred of rules. Yup. But, rules are not structure and structure is more like boundries. And boundries make me think of sports and then sports make me think of women, and women make me think of dogs and dogs make me think of love and you see where this is going.

I.NEED. structure.

As I was driving today, on to what could have been a job opportunity, which is one thing I seem to do a lot of lately, I decided to get some gas. When the idiot light comes on, it is usually a good time to fill up the tank, as opposed to the alternative, running out of gas.

Running out of gas really sucks.

I stopped by the normal spot to get gas and thought of food. Well, that and my stomach alarm had gone off, so I was about to pass out from starvation, as it had been HOURs since I last had sustinance.

Yes, I was losing weight.

I decided to grab a couple of my all time favorites, gas station hot dogs! I have heard that they are not good for you, but then few foods I eat are, and I refuse to eat tofu. As My father used to say, "you live until you die." I would rather live a shorter life eating what I want than live longer eating crap that tastes like cardboard and has the texure of a toilet wax ring.

Don't ask me how I know.

Of course, I had to load them up with cheesy-goey goodness, which BTW, is not an actual food, but more like a chemical with gooey-good cheesy stuff flavoring. I also had a dollop of chili, (also questionable if it is real food) four jalepeno's (pickled) on each dog, as well as a few pickles (for salt, cuz god knows we do not eat ENOUGH salt in America) and a spoon of onions on each. (wanna kiss me now?)

They were good.

And quite messy.

Unfortunatly, I wore almost as much as I ate. Evil Bruce was along for the ride, so when we got cut off by some douche canoe, (thanks Jewels! it's her phrase) there were a few utterances that are not suitable for this blog. (but they can alwasy be seen on my EvilBruce site) I also ended up wearing more than a mouthful of cheesy-goo-chili-pickle-onion-jalepeno.

Guess I won't get that job.

I knew I should have packed a bib.

Since food makes me think of food, I spent a considerable amount of time pondering what other foods are really yummy. Meatloaf is one of my favorite foods. No ketchup on top, though, I hate ketchup. Oh and black olives, while one of the best things in the world, do not belong in meatloaf. If you don't believe me, ask my wife...Jus' Sayin'

And by considerable amount of time, I mean about 45 seconds.

Cuz then i got bored. 

And cut off again. 

More cussing ensued.

Digression aside:

These foods SHOULD be available...

The Mc Double while fine by itself, could only be better with Al Fredo sauce. Think about it. Two greasy burgers on a nearly as greasy bun, covered with melt-y american cheese food product. And then covered in equal, but well blended, portions of melted butter, heavy whipping cream and grated Parmesan cheese. I know, you are thinking about it right now.

And you are getting very hungry. 

As I menitoned earlier, I love me some meatloaf. However, I have yet to find anywhere that I can get deep fried meatloaf. Imagine this. Meatloaf, sans yuckified ketchup, dipped in an egg wash. No, scratch that, let's dip it in beef gravy,  and then roll in breading made with equal portions of corm meal, Italian bread crumbs, and crumbled Ritz crackers. For good measure, dust it with a bit of Caynene Pepper. Then dropped in a vat of boiling olive oil. (for health reasons).

But leave out the black olives.

i hate ketcup!


  1. that burger sounds good right now since I cant taste a fucking thing because of the flu.

  2. Wow...that is some diet huh? As I sit here eating powdered sugar donuts with my morning coffee.....yum. You're trouble Bruce. If I keep hanging out with you I'm going to hell! hahahaha

  3. I hate ketchup, too! But I also hate meatloaf. And pretty much any other kind of meat. Unless its chicken.

  4. @OFT- bummer dude..hope you get better soon...

    @Bouncin Barb- with a capital T...thats me...but you're too nice to go to hell...and powdered sugar donuts are a food group on their own!!!

    @JM- glad you hate's nasty...I love me some chicken as well...I also like turkey meatloaf, but hten ya gotta add black olives..

  5. i can't live without ketchup..YUM

  6. hmmmm I want food.... Food, food, food....


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