the BLOGDOG blog!!!!: its so cliche...

TRENDING NOW!!!TRENDING NOW!!!

1.Fran Drescher 2.Ashton Kutcher 3.Transformers 3 4.Chemotherapy 5.Social Security

6.Audrina Patridge 7.Jonathan Lipnicki 8.Smartphones 9.Bristol Palin 10.Severe Weather WHATEVER...

This morning I awoke with a strange sensation. if it wasn't for bad luck...This day had bad written all over it. bad things happen to good people... It was not just a case of the cliché’s…It was not just a b-movie sub-plot with all the trimmings. It was not Ground Hog’s Day…as least not yet…so many cliché’s so little time..

I KNOW you are prolly thinkin’ it was just MorningWood, but aside from that particular affliction that plagues most all of the ychomos out there, it was not. It was a feeling of impending doom. A feeling of a bad moon a risin’. Well, more correctly a settin’ but that song has yet to be written.

This impending doom was not because I had to go back to the aliens house to put a new shade of lipstick on that pig, but more so it was an “I got a bad feeling about this.” The turd polishing was just icing on a really stale cake. I can live that, cuz this PigLipstickingTurdPolishing job is not my first rodeo and all that but…I know you have all been there as well. Some days just start out like a DamionDay…

After a night of oddball dreams, that I cannot not quite remember, lingering in my sub-conscience like DogFart and rotted beef blended with patchouli oil on a passed out deadhead and a very disconcerting morning feeling not connected to not having MorningWood, which would be a bad omen as well, I received a strange call. My Friend George called to express his regret and sadness for my loss.

WTF?!? Who died? Panic…Danger Will Robinson!

My first thought was that VoHo had unsprung his mortal coil and had passed on to the other side to hang with Mr. MoJo Rison and Jimi Hendrix. Did he die and I was outta the loop? Amazingly, my first thought was I need to check FB to see what the scoop is…Unfortunately, I had just set the lappy to standby and it takes for ever to wake up, just like the grumpy 5 year old it is.

When did I become so attached to the InterwebyUmbilical? My next thought was where was my Cellular device? Where the f! was that damn cell phone? My first thought was I left it in my flying car…oh wait there is no flying car…Yet…Mebbe I got a text that I missed. Holy crap, what did we do when we only had dial-up? Or rotary dial phones? The world has moved to instant gratification mode…except when you really need to know…

CompuTime IS a slug on a dry leaf in the hot sun when you NEED to know something on the interweb…finally the page loaded up and I checked for bad news…there was nothing there to clue me in…then…

OMG…

I took a sip of the worst coffee I had made in months.

Two scoops coffee and six cups water equals very weak AND yucky…

It turns out that it was a different guy that hit an emergency vehicle that died last night. It could have been my friend, and I could be in mourning on this disconcerting morning…There but for the grace of God go I...

As we all hurtle thru space at like 17 thousand miles per hour on a ball of rock and water or mebee a chunk of bittersweet chocolate kryptonite...~~f-you willy wonka~~..IKD... one bazillionth of the size of the massive expanse of the universe or galaxy or just plain space, whatever it is called, cuz Bill Nye I am not, we are protected by really…wait for it…wait for it…ABSOf-ing Nothing…or God. I will choose the higher power. I will choose God. But I will not be preachy about it. ABSOf-ing Nothing is sooo very negative and depressing…it is kind of like tofu oatmeal…do they even make tofu oatmeal? It sure sounds gross…

Lately, I have become more and more convinced that everything happens for a reason. The problem is that the reason is not always very pretty. Or very easy to figure out, read or cipher. It is all in heroglyphic…(God language as in Hero meaning God and glyphic meaning language…BTW, If you do not know it yet, my blog my rules, fight back your insane desire to correct me…)

I drove by a guy holding a sign asking for money. I thought for a moment to give him cash would be a good and stuff thing to do. Then I remembered that I struggle to pay my bills and I work full-time. I guess I could make a sign with some glitter and a glue stick and find a corner to spange, but I am not quite there yet. That does not mean that I do not feel for the guy. I do. There but for the grace of God go I...

I was walking up to the hospital room to see VoHo. I was approached by an elderly woman that had some lame-ass story about being left at the hospital. She needed to get a dollar to get a ride home. I thought that I had no cash in my wallet as I pulled it out of my pocket. I told her that I doubted I could help her. In my wallet were two dollars. I gave her one. half my net worth, given to someone i do not know...

Mebbe I am a sucker. Mebbe I am an easy mark.

Mebbe I am a good person that does what he thinks is right.

Most likely I am a sucker, a mark, but I will not change

cuz there but for the grace of God go I...

I was sitting with VoHo’s Mom and Brother. I got up to wander down to the room to see him. Amazing how quickly I seize up. I had only been sitting for like 10 minutes. By the time I got to the corner about ten paces from the seat I had just disembarked I was nearly back to a normal gate. I turned the corner. I nearly walked into a guy in a wheel chair with no legs…the legs may hurt, but they still work… There but for the grace of God go I...

There are many crossroads on our daily commute form here to there. The line between life and death is thin. Much thinner than I thought it was a couple weeks ago. Much thinner than we all really wish to acknowledge. In an instant it can all change. In an instant it can all change…in an instant it can all…you get the point.

In VoHo’s room I hear him speak for the first time since the accident. He says, “ I cannot breath” He is struggling to breath. We cannot find the call button. He is panicking. I am a bit freaked out. So is his mom. Damn you DamionDay! I calmly go the the next room and ask the guy sitting at the computer there to help. “the Guy in 4806 cannot breath, do you think you can give us a hand…” Just about that time a nurse comes in and assures us that he is fine. She gets him to calm down. She explains that the O2 number is 97. the best is 100 so he is fine…he falls asleep shortly there after. I leave and am shaken a wee bit. Ridin’ the VoHovator..

I hate to dwell on the negative. I hate to watch people suffer. I know that there are those that have so much less to loose than me and have it far worse than I do. It helps to keep me humble. There but for the grace of God go I...It puts all things in perspective.

Sometimes I remember the world is my kryptonite..bittersweet chocokyptonite at that...I am powerless to change anything but my thoughts. While that does give me free reign to wear underwear more than one day in a row, or flip the socks to get a second day out of them, that is poor consolation in the grand scheme...

WorldChocoKryptonite does give me the excuse to pay someone to change my oil as well and if I really want to I could have someone sit beside me and change the channels. Oh wait, I have that already, I call her Roxy. And I know eventually she will fall asleep and I can change them myself. I know she is asleep when I am watching the Spanish channel for more than two minutes…

WorldChocoKryptonite it is sobering and at the same time comforting. Sobering when I look at VoHo. He will need help to do everything for a long time. Sobering when I see the less fortunate. There but for the grace of God go I...Comforting when I think of the good things and the good times and the good times yet to be had on this hurtling ball of bittersweet. and VoHo is alive..

And only you can prevent forest fires…Jus’ sayin…

I feel bad for all the ills of the world. I wish for a better place for my children’s children. I have never been a particularly religious guy. I have never been a big fan of expressing my faith and asking for prayers for me or mine. I have always kept my relationship with the man upstairs a mostly closed door conversation. I do not think that will change. I do not think I will modify my relationship. Well mebbe occasionally. Every day I see something that makes me think, There but for the grace of God go I...

I do not have to be superman. and I am allergic to choclate..(seriously, i am...) I do not have to change the world. I just have to change me. I just have to change my thoughts. Attitude conquers all kinds of inability. And then you can change the world. One channel at a time. One day at a time.One blog at a time...(one Click thru at a time) and thru all that it is still…