A rolling Moss gathers no stones…

TRENDING NOW!! TRENDING NOW!!

1.McRib      (seriously??? this is trending now??? I'M CALLING WTF ON THIS)  2.Lana Lawless 

3.Ashlee Simpson  4.Gisele Bundchen  5.Reverse Mortgage  6.Oklahoma Earthquake…


7.Napoleon Dynamite 8.Mobile Phone Pla… 9.Rachel Zoe 10.Roth IRA
 

     The other day the Patriots traded Rolling Randy Moss to the Minnesota Vikings. As some of you know I hate the Vikings. I also hate the Cowboys. I hate The Vikings because of a certain Francis Tarkenton and the long string of defeats handed to the Lions by him and the Purple People Eaters. I hate the Cowboys because of the unceremonious handling of one of the great football coaches of all time, Tom Landry. I bet that dullard Jerry Jones and his 1-3 Cowpokes wish they had Mr. Landry back right now.

     Tom had Stones! He also had a stone face, like the coaches of that era. Back in the golden age of Pro Football, when guys like Landry, Shula, and Vince Lombardi prowled the sidelines, players made a pittance, until Broadway Joe broke the bank for what would now be considered a paltry sum of $427,000.00 Joe Willie also made the guarantee about beating the Colts in SB III and then made good on that line. These guys played like their coaches. They left their stones on the field and played every down. They reflected the personalities of the men in charge. But that was then…this is now…

     According to that Blowhard Jim Rome, the 2010 Lions are the best 1-4 pro football team ever! I finally agree with something he said. I think the world will end tonight. Better get your Millennium Closet filled and check your supplies, making sure you have plenty of water and …OJ…and a couple rolls of TP. The end of the world and crusty underwear seem like a small trip thru hell…

     Randy Moss is a talented guy. He is a great receiver. He single handedly has destroyed many a Sunday for me with his talents and his affiliation with the hated Vikings. He has rolled stoneless around the NFL with stops at Minnesota, Oakland, New England and now back to the hated Vikes, joining up with old # 4, Bret Favre. (Use the JADIP finds stuff box to find more on Bret by typing in gone but not 4gotten) a rolling Moss gathers no stones…or so it has been said…mebbe by others but definitely by me…you would really think that by now he would have some...

     Randy has failed to find his stones…If history repeats itself, which I predict it will, his lack of stonage will become apparent when he takes a couple of play or a couple of games off and the Vikes fail to make the playoffs. He will ultimately whine like the little biatch he is…Jus’ Sayin’…

     Moss, like I said is a talented guy. He is arguably one of the greatest receivers to play the game. He also is a huge baby, and has no stones. It is rumored that he has been know to take a play or two (read: the whole game) off when he does not get the damn ball thrown to him early and often. He has no stones. He is a wussy. He is what is wrong with pro sports personified. Hey Randy…RDACE…(reach down and count em…oh wait you have no stones…

     Where else but in Pro Sports can you have a great year, get paid a bunch of cash, and then turn off your ability, whine about your contract, and then get paid a bunch of money somewhere else. It is almost like Pro Sports are the same as big banks and the Bankstards that have made such a shambles of our economy. Well, to be fair the bankstards had a bit of help from the prostiticians…

     Is anyone else sick of phone solicitations from prostiticians? How can you tell if a prostitician is lying? His or her lips are moving…or he/she is leaving you a voicemail. I do not care which side of the fence you are on; getting a phone message from one liar telling lies about another liar is like finding out that your mom and dad were swingers and they really do not know who your real father is…that would really kinda suck. Mebbe more than a phone ad from a prostitician, but it is very close…

     I used to get really excited when I had a phone message. Long before everything was call ID’d and you actually had to listen to the message to find out who called you, was kinda like going out to get the mail before you accumulated a bunch of debt, to see if someone surprised you with a postcard or letter.

     Now all I get in the mail are bills and icky stuff. And the messages on the answering machine are usually some computer generated appointment reminder or a prostitician trying to get me to support their particular theft of tax dollars while bashing the other sides idea of how to steal your money. If they had a pair, they would come up and lie to my face, not hide behind a pre-recorded pack of partisan poppy-cock.

     If it is a person on the message it sounds like they would rather have their fingernails pulled one by one than call you to remind you that you need to see Dr. PokeandProd, for your annual TouchyFeely body part inspection. Very rarely is it someone calling from your past saying they want to get together for a beer… I would relish a call from a long lost bud asking me to grab my pair from the wife’s purse and sneak out for a secret beer…Ah yes, those were the days.

     Now everyone texts everyone and even the phone is tied to your TV so when you get a call a message pops up on your TV that says who it is. I kinda hate that function, because it covers up the action on the TV, and for me it is mostly sports, and really I do not want to know who is calling, when I am watching the WINGS on TV. Most everyone I want to talk to calls my cell phone, sends me a e-mail, drops me a line on FB, or texts me. 

    Apparently, old number 4 does a pair of stones and sexted some NY sports reporter chick a picture of them. He has not come out and denied it. But seriously, who cares. They are both adults. It is not a life or death thing. No one is going to die from his junk being sexted. I can only hope that it is NEVER posted on FB, or some jackass links it on my news feed…

     If the OpinionFlashers would find something that is news worthy I would not have to be writing about another pro athlete that did something stupid. Sexting a pornshot of your junk to another adult is undeniably stupid, but it is not really a news item.

      So....Everyone seems so concerned about this Sexting thing. And internet porn. And other life and death things like that. I can see why teenagers Sexting is a bad thing. But part of being a teenager is doing very stupid and bad things. Seriously, we have kinda let this world get to where it is at. The priorities are seriously out of whack.

     Anyone that did not do something seriously stupid and against what an adult would deem inappropriate during your teen years stand up and leave this blog...you should not be here...you should be in some uptopian society, or you are lying...in that case you should be helping steer our country to the brink of disaster...seriously... either way reading this blog is antithesis to  your utopian apple cart...some times the truth is not pretty...

     I have a teenaged daughter and she is hanging out with a football player. She says they are not dating, but whatever… I would not like it one bit if this football playing guy sexted her his junk. I would not like it at all. But there are bigger things to worry about... sooner or later ya just gotta RDACE and just hit delete. You cannot change the fact that the world is full of stupid people and stupid people do stupid things...

     A sext is not a fatal accident, or a life confined to a wheel chair. It is not a Chilean mine collapse, a new strain of piggy flu or a near death experience. It is just a picture of anatomy and while a stupid thing to do, not gonna take years, days or even hours off your life…get pissed, get over it and move on...

     I wish I could make millions jumping from job to job, or getting paid bunches to lie and talk shit about the other side, without any stones, and just have a bunch of bad days, do a bunch of stupid stuff and play a game, either football or prostiticianing, for a living. That sounds like a great time.

     Alas, I have little athletic ability left, and really cannot see myself getting elected to an office. I may run, but my campaign of no promises no lies would leave me little else to say. And we all know ballsy truthful prostiticians are like unicorns or Moss’s stones…they simply do not exist…

help me help you...thru click and save a life...$15.00 from our goal for 2010...

tuckmonster and i need your help!!!