all the cool kids!

you are getting very sleepy...when i snap my fingers you will follow this blog! leave tasty comments! and check out my OTHER blogs! Bruce's Evil Twin stupid stuff I see and hear The Dreamodeling Guy dreamodeling! The Guy Book The Guy Book


the blogdog blog

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I heard a rumor and I could not care less…

thanks to all of you that are helping save the puppies by thruclicking ads....getting closer...


TUCKMONSTER!!! remember how small he was?

TRENDING NOW!!! TRENDING NOW!!! 
1.UFO Sightings    2.Lion Attack
3.Rumer Willis       4.Stock Prices
5.Weight Loss           6.Marlo Thomas  7.Lisa Rinna            8.Dana Delany
       9.Jay Cutler                 10.Social Security
  
   I have heard a rumor that I am a bit paranoid. Mebbe. I prefer to call it ProactivePontentialityPreparednessProtocol…Those of you that are not Following PPPP are being lead like lambs to slaughter by the man and his attempt to keep you down…but then again it is a rumor. It could be true but mebbe it is not and I couldn’t care less…
      I have heard a rumor that I may be preachy. I prefer to call it PontificatingPointedness. I may be opinionated. I prefer to call it insightful. I heard a rumor that I may be stupid say or do stupid things and/or may not *gasp* be funny. I prefer to call it HighbrowHumor
     I have heard a rumor that I am a shameless self-promoter. Accepted and I stand accused...ya gotta stand for something...puppies/trees/pink things/whatever...If I had a million dollars I would not need to ask for help to save puppies I would do it on my own...and as BNL says, "I'd be rich!" 
     I can live with all of those insults and many more but the not funny part. Well, actually I couldn’t care less if you think I am not funny. It is your inability to read between the lines or your uneducatedness that makes me not funny…oh and I know you KNOW who you are…I know where you live, and if you move I will find you and…just kidding…it is a rumor after all… (This is not pointed at ANYONE…it is just page filler…oh damn, I AM paranoid…and not very funny)
     I have heard a rumor that they made a movie about Secretariat. Oh PUL-EEEEEAZE. Did the Hollywood braintrust all go on vacation? Isn’t there a 70’s era toy like Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots that is just begging for a shot at retro-glory? And what about BarbieGI Joe had a movie…I heard a rumor that Barbie’s the last six or so bo-tox injections and 15 face lifts are simply not enough to hide the years but they did offer the part to Liz Taylor…and you know what…I couldn’t care less…
     WTF!?!? Is there an ecstasy, pot, acid, and/or ‘shroom shortage in La-La land? There is not an obscure former 90 second Saturday Night Live skit waiting for re-birth as a 90 minute piece of tripe? There is not a new Freddy Krueger and or Friday the 13th prequel/sequel/re-do…How about a vampire movie, oh wait, OVERDONE, or what about a Frankenstein adaptation?
     Seriously? Secretariat? The Horse? It will be released soon. It may be a great movie. I will never know cuz I will never see it. Why? I couldn’t care less AND I know how it ends, so what is the point? Plus, come on, seriously? A movie about a horse. Been there. Done that. Remember Black Beauty? And Ol’ Yeller?
     I know Ol’ yeller was a dog, but he died in the end. And so does the horse. The end of all of our movies is the same…We all die…not trying to dwell on it…jus sayin…
    I have heard a rumor that the movie boasts that Secretariat is the greatest athlete of all time. Riiight… He was a great race horse, but great athletes, let alone the greatest, can do more than just run around a track. Ok let’s be correct; run around a track with a small person on its back…my dictionary definition of athlete includes the word human somewhere in it. Is the TuckMonster a great athlete? Hardly, but he is fast and he can swim and fetch...
      And guess what? An Iron Horse can go faster than a flesh horse.Without a Jockey riding the horse I bet the race just kinda lollygags around never really ending, cuz the horses just stop running. I do not know that for a fact but if it were not True, why even have jockeys? To give small people jobs? The previous statment may be wrong...Wrong on many levels, and no offense cuz I am an under tall person myself, but I bet I could prolly stuff most of the world's jockeys on the b-ball court…
     Then again I have seen my ability to play b-ball and I retract that statement. I am, however, too tall to be a jockey. And I am woefully out of shape. I would say that the training regimen for a jockey does not include eating bacon and gas station hotdogs…it may also include a bit of stretching and quite possibly some aerobics. I really do not know and quite honestly couldn’t care less…
    Don’t you hate it when someone says, “I could care less” yes you could care less, but if you do not care the proper term is I couldn’t care less…jus’ sayin’
     Saying a horse is the world’s greatest athlete is like saying the set of clubs that Eldrick uses are the world’s greatest athlete. Or the car that Jeff Gordon drives is the greatest athlete. Or the rod and reel that Bill Dance uses is the greatest athlete…without the jockey, Secretariat is just a fast horse with out Eldrick, the clubs could be in my garage and i bet my wife would have hit me with them more than once…without Jeff, the car could be my truck and the rod and reel could be in my non-running boat with or without Bill Dance…
     The things they think are important/ entertaining enough to make a movie about are truly baffling…this is a movie in which I couldn’t care less. I will not even wait for the DVD…The argument could be made that without seeing it you could never really make an informed opinion. Some prostiticans (and you know which way I lean) are famous for making informed opinions without the burden of knowledge or facts...and therefore I rest my case…three thumbs down…
    Some things that are really important are the greatest movies about sports ever made. Brian’s Song, Remember the Titans, We are Marshall, the Longest Yard, Jerry Maguire, Hoosiers, The Blind Side, Paper Lion…just a few so really the list goes on…
     I know I have an interesting spin on our crazy world. I know I am alive. The rest of it is just life. Good bad or indifferent, I attempt to make it fun. I attempt to make it funny. I attempt to look at it half full, with a watchful eye on the crazyasses that would attempt to take it all away, with plans, schemes, and subterfuge, and mind numbingly unimportant movies about stuff that I couldn’t care less about... I couldn’t care less…because…

I am alive and It truly is…
click and save puppies!!!!all the cool kids are doing it!!!

1 comment:

  1. Well I think you are funny. You always make me giggle

    ReplyDelete

spam sucks...
so till the spammers are extinct...never... I will have a captcha...