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Sunday, October 17, 2010

Fall blows…

(wow, todays trend is mostly big crisis to write about?)

1.Katy Perry  2.Amy Poehler  3.Shia LaBeouf   4.Hilary Swank  5.Health Care Plans

6.Knott's Berry Farm 7.Johnny Knoxville  8.Blood Pressure 9 .Mortgage Loan 10.Hoover Dam

    ONYD!!! Yup! I sure as shit did. Fall indeed does blow…Fall blows. There I said it! If you do not believe me go see outside. Better yet, be outside. Get some wind mills up stat!!! That air movement is not just FairyFarts. Too bad the answers really do not blow in the wind, or I would have them all, captured with my dime store butterfly net and be doling them out to the highest bidder on E-Bay..
     That wind, my friends, is the ill wind that blows no good. At least in my neck of the woods. ..That is sure sign of winter on its way…major yucky!!!
For further proof I submit to you the following blowvidence.

     Oops. My minds eye imaging device seems to have malfunctioned. Mebbe I forgot to remove the lens cap…IDK…In order to see the bigger picture we all need to remove our lens caps. I may have forgotten here, but believe you me, prolly a good idea. Unless you are PalinStupid and want someone like Stupid Palin running the country in a couple years…if she is your girl, just keep those lens caps on and she will lead you to the hell you deserve…oops, I guess I got a little political…back to the point…

 Let’s try this again with a digital camera...

     And further proof is the sound. It sounds like a million bazillion locust swarming the city. That soulless symphony is the sucky sound of LEAF BLOWERS. Gas and electric energy wasting labor saving leaf blowers. Fall blows.
     This time of year is not very green… It is shades of red and orange and while okay to ogle, it all ends up dead and brown. Then the trees are bare and the snow hits. And then whiteness everywhere. Then I would rather see outside than be outside. I consider hibernation for the 9 months, or so, that the icy mitt of old man winter grabs us Michiganders.
     In EGR there is free leaf removal. Well it is not free, as nothing really is. It is paid for by some of the most ridiculously inflated taxes in the modern world, but they do pick up your leaves if you get them to the concrete curb and gutter. Being outside with a back pack blower is not my idea of fun…in fact poking my eyes out with bamboo sticks seems like a party compared to blowing leaves.
     As a weekend lazy man, and a football freak this is not a good thing to have all this work staring me in the face while MSU, U of M or the LIONS are on…on top of that, the WINGS season has begun…
     As I was walking with the TuckMonster this morning I noticed that many people had already begun the process of blowing the leaves into the curb and gutter. These assclowns still have trees that all FULL of leaves in and about their yard. AND I am not just being a half-full guy there are a bazillion leaves yet to fall. And blow.

all these leaves are yet to fall
...wind blows...leaves fall.... leaves get blown...hence fall blows!!!

     Oh yeah, I hate lawns as well. Grass is very needy. It needs to be watered, and then it needs to be mowed and then it needs to be trimmed. Then it needs to be fertilized, and then mowed again. The greener your lawn the less green friendly you are…gas powered products are bad for the ozone and electricity still relies on fossil fuels to run the generators, and make ridstupidously long plastic coated extension cords…Those electric mowers and blowers are just a bunch of green washing…time to replace  it all with field grass made with recycled tires!!! and put a LIONS logo in the middle of my yard...
     BTW…Because of this insane desire to have a PRETTY manicured lawn, we are required to pick up our furry friends waste. Well, if you have a dog you are. Cats are still allowed to walk into your yard and drop a deuce AND FOR AN ENCORE take a little stroll on the hood and top of your car. Is there no justice in the world?
     I have been watching where these cats are coming from and saving all these CatAssTrophies, to deposit in their owners yard…wish I still had my dump truck, I would add a couple TuckMonsterTurds as well…
     The leaves are changing, the wind is cooler, and the summer has wound down. All this work of taking care of the lawn by removing the leaves and prepping it to be pretty in the spring blows. My little greener effort this year may be to leave the leaves. Let nature take its course and not be party to the blowing that is part of fall. 
      Or I could let the kids that just walked up and asked if they could rake the lawn for 3 dollars do the nasty. 3 bucks...that is a bargain!!! Hey, it may need to be done again, but mebbe they will come back in a couple weeks..Mebbe fall does not blow quite so much…mebbe I was overreacting…I think I will give them 6 bucks…

    the TuckMonster says click thru to save my brothers (and sisters) from different mothes

1 comment:

  1. So let me make sure I understand. You don't like fall? Hehe.


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