Shoes of all sizes….

     Never underestimate the power of incoherent thought. I know it sounds like a simple concept, but really it is very, very difficult to grasp. like Chicago Math. If it were easy, then there would be fewer vagaries of perception. People seem to think that what ever they believe is the only rational thought, when in reality, the lines between black and white are really grey and shades of grey. If you travel far enough the left you are really extreme right…jus’ sayin’

     You never really understand the other person until you walk a mile in their shoes. In most cases it would only take a couple of steps or at least a bit of empathy and a couple steps to appreciate the particulars of their paradigm. In many instances we do not really take the time to understand where the other individual is coming from We may not want to wear their shoes, for even a minute. We make snap judgments and are quick to shut out the door on meaningful dialog.

     There are many types of shoes in this world and not all of them will fit you or me. The best you can do is try to fit into the other’s shoes occasionally, to see what on earth were they thinking…. Looking at their shoes is a start. Baby Steps! (From What About Bob starring Richard Dreyfus and Bill Murray)

     The other day I was working Woodland Mall. It was raining, if you can imagine it raining lately. I pulled up to the loading zone and smoked a cigarette while killing some badguys and waited for the cloudburst to subside. When the rain let up I hopped out of the truck and proceeded to unload the lumber.

     I was not more than a couple of steps out of my truck, walking in my beat-up work Nikes when some self-important mallmanagernazi pushing some trash shouted, “Hey! You can’t park there! Your blocking the dumpster!” to which I replied, “F- you! Mallstaupo managerboy!” “I will be out of the way in a couple minutes.” I was clearly not blocking the dumpster, as you can see in the picture I took with my *Mind’s Eye* imagining device.

     I used the NEW mind-meld cable that I recently purchased to replace the mind meld cable I left on the front seat in a locked car, in the hot sun, which melted just like those wax Sinclair Dinosaurs that your dad TOLD you not to leave on the seat of the car, because it would melt. Yeah, just like that…

     Maybe that guy was having a bad day. Maybe his boss just uncorked on him. Maybe. I don’t know, but I doubt it. Maybe he is just a member of the braying jackassery… Maybe…I do know his wingtips looked too uncomfortable to wear while I build a bunch of shelves…He may have a very good reason to commit jackassery. I will probably never know. But I should cut him some slack, for I do not know what it is like to wear his shoes.

     BTW…I hate wingtips…I would probably not do well walking in his shoes. Maybe he hates his shoes as well. We all battle the black cloud that is depression; some of us just relish walking in that cloud, because it is what we are used to. I prefer the silver lining, however it is sometimes hard to find. It can be like a word search that was made by a kindergartner. You know there may be something there but it is hidden by a lack of coherency.

     I was out driving the other day and I saw a couple in their car BOTH talking on their cell phones. From their appearance they were probably both wearing Birkenstocks. They may have had very important business thing so discuss on their trip to wherever, but I doubt it. They were probably taking to friends about which bar to hook up later.

     Or they were making plans for their upcoming wedding…fools… Most likely they were talking to each other, and not cuz it is funny and cute, but because they were so self absorbed they forgot they were in the car together. I really wish I could see their shoes…

     “I see you are very judgmental, Grasshopper.” Did I forget to mention that they were driving in the left lane at about 60 mph causing everyone else to go around them in the right lane? No. OK, they were, and that is when I decided to stop trying to wear their Birks, and give them the business. See how easy it is to jump to conclusions? Thank God I was wearing a sturdy pair of cross-trainers!!!

     After this little incident I ended up at the zoo. It was last Saturday. Well, not the actual zoo but I went to Meijer, and it was a zoo. 10,000,000 SUVS and mini-vans all driving as if their shoes don’t stink…

     All I wanted to do was buy a battery for the fishing boat. Simple enough, you would think, but not so much. I survived the jungle that is the parking lot and shoed my way into the store, where the cattle chaos was a maelstrom of multi-shoed indifference. When I finally found the damn batteries, after several near shopping cart collisions, I grabbed one and huffed to the check out, only to find that the check out guy did not know the proper procedure to give me the discounted price for having an exchange battery. He had no Idea what the “core charge” was…idiot

     I could not see his shoes, as they were hidden by the cash stand, but maybe they were uncomfortable. He sent me to the service counter. The little old lady there looked at me like I was speaking Swahili and sent me back to the battery department. She was probably wearing simple black flats, but I could not see them. Maybe she had on stiletto f-me pumps and thought that 75 was the new cougar…I do not know.

     I trundled back to the auto department. I searched for a call button or an associate to help me. Finally I found a auto person. The fat overweight girl there had to call the service department to find the proper procedure. She was wearing black walking shoes that were a bit aged. However, she was kind and courteous. I could wear her shoes. She then sent me back to the cashier.

    I try to look at the shoe possibilities. Just do your job. I try to understand the complexities. Just learn your job. How tough can it be? Granted there are like a bazillion product at a Meijer, but seriously? In the end no one died from the added 20 or so minutes I was wandering around the store trying to buy a battery. But really what were they all thinking? You cannot empathize if you cannot understand.

    There are lots of reasons that no one knows the procedure. It all comes down to understanding.idiots*No I understand that they are ignorant of the procedure  they have a tough job. seriously, it is not so tough do not act like I am an inconvenience. instead of saying those things I smile and say, “That’s ok I really have nothing else to do today.”

     In my third wait in line for one simple product I glance at the tabloid stand. why would anyone buy these magazines? It dawns on me that you should never date anyone you work with. Well, at least that is the core understanding I get from looking at all the movie stars that date and get married and then break up. I do not think I would like to walk in their shoes either.

     I think to myself, while the glam life style may look cool and all, my somewhat chaotic albeit mildly boring day –to-day is just fine by me. I can always change into a newer pair of shoes. God knows I have way too many pairs, I have lost count. *Damn! Bruce you are becoming Imelda Marcos compared to when I met Roxy, and I had a pair of work boots, a pair of boat shoes, a pair of clean Nikes, and sandals. And I thought that was a bit extreme. Seriously, 4 PAIRS of shoes? Conspicuous consumer American PIG!

     Then I glance at a magazine called Life made simple. Riiight. This tripe is 246 pages of ads, and advice to make it simple. What are they thinking? I fail to see the coherency in their spiel. I cannot wear those shoes! I have a great way to make it simple. Do less stuff. Make more time for yourself and family. Do not book 30 hours in a 24 hour day. But really most of all, don’t waste your time reading on how to make it simple. If you don’t know how, wasting time reading about how to simplify by adding to time spent by reading about simplifying seems like some kind of acid induced Chicago Math…

    Apparently, all the news you really need is in the check out aisle. Tabloids are just the same as the Trending Now blurb on yahoo. I learn more about what is HOT and what is NOT in the few trips per week to the grocery and by looking at the trending now blurb. I must also say that I am not really too interested. Well, that is until I become a trending now from this blog. And again assume the role of Mr. mildly famous.. Then I may care, but who then will want to walk in my shoes?

     As I am exiting the store I see a rather fat, obese, slob large guy. I read the shirt he is wearing. It says something about healthy kids and exercise. I am baffled. hey fatso, if you want to help kids loose weight start with yourself maybe his kids are fat. Hey Lardass, Twinkies are NOT a food group I really do not understand, but I try. What is he thinking? You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mind* (Billy Joel) I chuckle and walk away. I really could not walk in his shoes either…I may not be the thin guy I was 15 years ago, so I can empathize a wee bit…jus’ sayin’

     The problem with people is they want to be right. They know the paradigm they follow is the right path. They are unwilling to shift the paradigm. No matter how incoherent it may seem to you or me. While I will continue to look at other peoples incoherent shoes, maybe it is only *Baby Steps,* I reserve the right to look at other people’s shoes and while I may even buy into new shoes; I can keep walking in my shoes cheap and aged as they are.

Just another day in paradise