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Friday, January 8, 2010

welcome to the party

I like to watch television. I like to watch sports. I love to watch the REDWINGS. I like the discovery channel. I do not like to watch “reality” television. Reality television is a joke. It is not real. It could be real, if it were not so ridiculous. It is entertainment. Why do people watch RTV? I WILL NEVER KNOW. I guess watching paint dry could be considered entertainment as well.

If I were going to do a reality show, it would be a real show. Not some contrived faked bunk. My first idea is called Real Survivor. Take a bunch of Ritchie Riches and put them on an island for 30 days. There would be no camera crew, no food no water, just the “contestants” and a bunch of hidden cameras. On a real island that we may or may not remember how to find. Come back in thirty days, to see if anyone is still alive and gather up the cameras. Then watch the carnage. That would be real. Kind of morbid, but real. This is not the best idea. It may be entertaining and real, but still stupid.

So that stupid idea aside, on to the better idea called Welcome To The Party, Pal. Or WTF Just Happened? I have not chosen a name, but I would guess I am leaning toward the first one. It would center on a politician or bank executive, or some other excessively wealthy jackass and their family. I do not know who I would choose. I have to get the money together to produce it. Then I could start the research. I guess I could just rob banks…or I could ask for one of those nifty Government Bailouts…

The premise of the show would revolve around real situations. In the first episode, the politician would lose his job. He will have to file for unemployment. That would be hilarious. For any of you that have dealt with this bureaucratic bamboozle, you would find it humorous. Or pathetic. Imagine losing your job, and having to work for the pittance that is unemployment. Looks like you’re going to have to get rid of that top of the line BMW, Jaguar, or Benz because you cannot afford it. Looks like a brand new to you 1997 Corolla.

He (or she, but for sake of ease, I will say he) will have to have at least one kid in a private university. This poor sap would not be on scholarship. That would mean end of the gravy train and on to Community College. He or she would also have to get a job. That would be difficult, since there are not many places hiring. But hey, the world needs ditch diggers, too.

He will not have health insurance. For grins and giggles, he will have to have an emergency room visit. He will have some kind of chest pain, that turns out to be stress related, nothing serious or major. Then he has to pay for the doctors, tests and all the other things that make medical emergencies so much fun and real. He will have to deal with a real situation, and what reality is for many of us. Oh and imagine his elation when he cannot pay and gets sent to collections and is asked by the collection agency why he is a deadbeat.

He won’t be able to afford that awesome house, so guess he will be renting, or moving to the hood. With his new position as a CSR at the local burger hut, he will be living the reality of many, many people. He can forget about those dinners out, and all the other things that he used to do. Those things cost money that he no longer has. I would feel sorry for him. Not really. It sucks to lose everything, but it is happening everywhere.

His spoiled wife will go get a job at the local middle school, serving lunches, for minimum wage. That will be funny, but not really because that is reality for so many people. True, but not funny. They will not be able to pay the bills for anything that is needed like the dog visit to the vet for shots, the new muffler, or the blown head gasket on the used 1997 Corolla. Funny stuff! Unless it happens to you.

There is never a good time to lose a job. It sucks. Until the people that have it all start to feel the everyday trials and tribulations that the common people deal with on a daily basis, there will never be true change. It will always be a tipped scale. As good as this idea is it is hard to pull off.

Oh, who am I kidding, it would be just as stupid as all the other RTV crap. Real, true and everyday, but still stupid. Why ? Because it is reality television, and the two words should never be used in the same breath, or same sentence. It simply does not exist. IT IS STILL TELEVISION. Television is entertainment, not reality. Maybe I will try my hand at Situation Comedies….nah…I’ll stick to writing the real stuff, and leave the television out of it.
Just Another Day In Paradise


  1. this is why documentaries will never make it big.

    and even then, documentarians at every turn try to make whatever mundane shit they are filming SEEM interesting enough to engage the audience. occasionally they succeed. sometimes.

  2. damn....that sucks...guess i will have to make the survivor show instead...


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