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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Magic red WHAT?

      If you want to avoid an argument I have heard it said that it is best to answer an emotional question with an intellectual response. That may be what we call good judgment. 
      We all know the world is full of judgment and pre-judgment as well as bad judgment, oh and…and good judgment, however, when it comes to sports it is all a judgment call. And most of the time good does not figure heavy on the deal. A fan of the game is passionate about the game. Passion is emotional.
     It may surprise you that I am superstitious when it comes to sports. I know that may be hard to believe, what with my focused sense of right and wrong and my ability to ferret out the *reality* of the world, that I have such a proclivity. I do. I am not ashamed.
     Anyone that watches a WINGS game or a LIONS game with me can attest to the fact that I have done some pretty outrageous things to insure a victory. And have done some pretty outrageous things during the game. It has been rumored that I may have even mooned the TV once. Notice I said MAY. Maybe twice… While my wife may disagree, I have toned it down, for the most part when it comes to a loss. That is not to say that my passion for my teams is not at times a bit childish or to some degree down right stupid, I do get caught up in the game.
     As a fan, I do know that my *lucky couch* or any other luck charm, routine, or particular pattern of ritualistic events may not have any bearing on the outcome of the game. Notice, I said may not…Believe what you want…I do have a responsiblity to the team!!
     During the cup run of 1997, I stopped watching the WCF, because I could not figure out the right combination of hats, shirts and beers that insured a win. I even went out and bought red underwear… But to no avail. After the Wings advanced to the finals, I started watching again, because it was the SCF, after all. GOOOO Wings…
     In 1998, it did not seem to matter what I did, they were going to repeat for Vladdy…Well, I did have my Ozzie sweater, (Eventually (this year) I got Ozzie to sign it) I wore it during the Playoffs, so they won…I know that had something to do with it…Well, that and all the Rolling Rock I imbibed. “33” There also was the ritualistic *washing away a loss* thing as well. FYI, do not use bleach, no matter how much your team stunk it up…jus’ sayin’

     In 2002, I had a series of different things that worked to varying degrees, but mostly it was my tie-dyed Litho signed Steve Yzerman long sleeve Tee-shirt I received as a Christmas present from my son.(I am a bad parent, as I really do not recall if my son or daughter gave me this gift. I remember it being my son…
     During the Cup run of 08, I had another pair of red underwear. I swear they were magic. The team won when I wore them. It took a few games to figure out how, when, and where I could wear them to the best effect. I am still not sure if inside out and backwards made any difference to the WINGS winning or losing, but backwards sure made it difficult to pee. I do not remember them ever losing when I wore them, but I am sure they did…
     (What if I did not wash them and got in an accident…OMG…well, I would be a lot less concerned about the cleanliness of my undies if I were in an accident than how badly I was hurt. And I would be even more concerned if they threw them away on a game winning night. With or with out the badly hurt issue)
     I do know this, I did not wear them all day, only during the game, ‘cuz you never want to run the luck out of your current lucky charm…It may have taken a while to figure out the when…maybe…
     In 2010, the team was decimated by injuries. The longest playoff streak in the history of pro sports was in jeopardy. My team was looking like a team that would not go anywhere. Most nights I thought I was watching the GRIFFINS, not the WINGS…for most of the season the Wings were in ninth or lower seed in the west…
     I was not jumping off the bandwagon or anything, I kept the faith, but like any good fan I knew I had to figure out the right mixture of things to help the team win. My Judgment was needed.
     I knew what had to be done to snap the wings out of the doldrums; I invoked the Magic Red Underwear. It was time to shake things up. Difficult choices had to be made! Foolish decisions be damned! The playoffs were at stake. A world record was at stake. Fortunately, my pride was never at stake. I was more than willing to take one for the team…
    Surprisingly, I was puzzled when they lost the first time I invoked the MRU… Something had to be done. I know it may sound a bit crazy….maybe crazy… However, I would try wearing them outside my pants. That coupled with changing the position of the Ozzie Sweater, and wearing the Yzerman tie-dye should really be enough to push them right into the playoffs.
     I may have forgotten I had them on when I went out to the kitchen to grab a beer. Notice I said may. My wife saw me walk by and said something. What I heard from my wife is debatable. My selective hearing was in hockey mode so I think she may have said, “That’s a great idea, honey…Hope it helps your team win!” she may have said, “jeepers, Bruce, You are an idiot!” better call Skulley and Mulder, because *the truth is out there.* we may never know. I think my daughter just rolled her eyes.
     BTW…It worked. The WINGS won!! And continued to win, and made the playoffs for a record 19 straight seasons, and finished in fifth seed in the Western Conference.
     I may have forgotten I had them on when I went out for the victory smoke. Maybe…Thankfully it was rather dark out, until I turned on the porch light. I am sure the neighbors saw me. Whatever….The WINGS won!!!
     The conversation they had most likely went something like this. “Hey that obnoxious jackass that lives next door is out side smoking a cigarette. I think he is wearing red undies out side of the pants.” The wife would probably say, “I wonder why?” The diehard fan would understand.
     I am sure that even though we have lived here for nearly one year, I have not said one word to them. I will not probably ever talk to them. And after seeing me with the magic red undies out side the pants, they will probably never talk to me. It is probably for the best. They are cat people, I am a dog person. (WTF does that have to do with it? Nothing, but it amused me…)
     I washed my Ozzie sweater the last time the day before Ozzie signed it and have not worn it since. And we lost in the second round…My apologies to all the Wings fans….I will be getting a Jimmy sweater soon, at least before the next season starts.
     BTW, I still have them. MRU…BTW, men’s underwear is only worn out when the waist band no longer holds the junk sack up. And then, it is still a judgment call.
Just another day in paradise


  1. Bruce, nice posting!
    When you want a fresh pair of lucky ones, we're there for you.

  2. Christian-

    any way i can link your site to my blog, as in add space? i will be needing some new ones before the next season starts, plus it is cool that someone else believes in the power of RED!!!

  3. Think someone likes to play superman with his undies on the out side


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