I know you regular readers are wondering what on earth I could possibly be thinking about for another trip to the bloggering hole. Well, since you’re askin', here it is. Another raucous round of insanity from your favorite blogger.
I do not often stand on a soap box, mainly because I am afraid of heights, I may fall off and injure myself and our healthcare system sucks, but I will today. I have some things that are bothering me and I just think you all should know. Damn the co-pay and full speed ahead!!
A few days ago, or maybe it was a week or so ago, I was watching the MIGHTY REDWINGS, and a commercial came on the tube. Unfortunately, for me, the magic DVR was caught up so I was watching the game live. Hence, I HAD to suffer thru the commercials.
The first advertisement was a commercial for the Bernstein Advantage. For those of you that are unaware, the Bernstein’s are a group of lawyers. That alone gets my socks a rottin’ but worse yet they are ambulance chasers. And they have the stones to appear in their own commercials.
Since you’re askin’ being the star of your own commercial is not in and of itself always a bad thing, but all three, the two brothers and one sister, all have Marty Feldman eyes. And worse yet, one boy is blind. Do ya think they could put some Ray’s on this joker? Nope. Even Cyclops from the X-men wears protective lenses. He does have the ability to shoot a powerful red beam from his eyes, but the Bernstein’s probably can as well. At least I think they do, or how else do they win cases? Maybe it is something with their Marty Feldman eyes that causes the opposition lawyers to lose cases from the inability to keep a straight face.
Next up there was an ad for Jimmy Johns. Most of Jimmy John’s ads are incredibly, ridiculously, stupid, but this one is a trip down mega stupidity lane. Two guys are trying to defuse a bomb. They cut a wire and the ticker keeps going so the older guy makes a call. Does he call any of his loved ones? Nope. He calls and a second later Jimmy Johns delivery is there. Since you’re askin’ no amount of alcohol makes this even remotely funny.
And while we are on the subject of Jimmy Johns, I am at war with them. I ordered a sandwich recently, for around $5.00 and got a large hunk of bread and a tiny bit of meat. Thankfully, they gave me two packets of mayo, so I was able to substitute the fat calories as opposed to protein. Since you’re askin’ mayo does act as a lubricant while trying to choke down a large hunk of bread. A Crown and coke helps as well.
Great googgily moogily yet another commercial came on the tube. Frantically, I hit the FF button, but Dammit, I was still live… Metro PSC is trying to entice me to buy their phone service. I can live with that, but then, the actors they chose were Indian, (from the country of India, not Native American) and while I am not trying to be racist, because I hate everybody equally, (Just kidding hate is a subject that I will broach in a future soap box blog), but because of a couple, no several, bad experiences with the HELP line from India.
Every one of you has probably had a similar experience. You call because you cannot get the computer or some other electronic thing to work correctly. You look up the help line and call the 888 number. Someone named Paul (Seriously? Paul? C’mon, really?) with a heavy unintelligible accent says something that you think may be, “How may I help you?” You cannot understand what “Paul” is saying. Obviously, you swallow the reply, “WTF did you just say. Why don’t you learn to speak English and then we will talk.” So if you are like me, you say, “Oh, hey man, that solved the problem.” Then promptly hang up. Metro PCS may have great product. Since you’re askin’ I will never know. I blame “Paul”.
Since you’re askin’ there was one more commercial. And, no, it was not PSA about healthcare reform. I do not think I have seen a single commercial about that subject. I wonder why? The next bothersome brain trust bust was about Lexus automobiles. For a moment, however slight, I though this would be better. Nope. I was wrong! The ad tried to get me all excited about how many hybrids that they had in their product line. WhoopedeeF’inDoo!
Since you’re askin’ there were no sharp objects around with which to slit my throat, so I suffered thru the pain. Three Vicodin would not have dulled this assault on my intelligence. It started with a view of the four or five models and then morphed into about 17 million. Yup. Give or take a few. I lost count after three, just like the Owl in that tootsie pop commercial. Lick, one, lick two, Crunch three.
Just because the cars are SOOO damn fuel efficient we thought we would use a few million to parade around in the shape of a gas pump. And drive in circles like that blind Bernstein guy. Or Stevie Wonder. (That reference was for you CB!) F that! Maybe it was all CGI, and most likely it was, but what I SAW were 17 million cars driving around WASTING gas. Since you’re askin’.
The WINGS came back on and I hit pause. I wrote down these ideas on a couple of envelopes I pulled out of the trash, (in RED PEN cuz I was watching the REDWINGS) And I was sittin' on my lucky couch!!! (da da da da dada). Since you're askin', I paused long enough to avoid any more commercials for the rest of the game.
Since you’re askin’ I think we should have a NON-BIASED PSA about what exactly the government thinks is wrong with health care. I would watch that. It may be REALLY FUNNY. Funny because they have no idea. I know what is wrong with health care. The Hockey Ball Incident http://bruceejohnsonjadip.blogspot.com/2009/12/hockey-ball-incident.html taught me more than I already knew.
Since you’re askin, profiteering drug and insurance companies are the main culprits. Well, that and the fat cat politicians in the pockets of the same, that spend more time pointing fingers and calling names than doing anything productive, all the while know that they have excellent healthcare for life. They never have to worry about weather or not they have a cup on when they get hit in the junk with a Hockeyball. Not that hey would get off their fat cat asses or leave their yacht or jet long enough to even play Hockeyball.
Profit is fine. Protecting your share holders is also fine. Prescribing drugs that are NEEDED is fine. Making billions on the failing health, of our crumbling society, and doping up the population, for the sake of another 17 million dollar yacht or Leer Jet is a bit over the top. Since you’re askin, even the blind Bernstein guy can see that. Well, maybe he can’t because he is also part of the problem.
Just another day in paradise