The secret to life…

     There is a secret to life. Most of us know what it is, but few of us actually realize that we hold it in our hands. We touch it everyday, but we also ignore its ever present existence. We run through the days and nights scurrying to this and that in an effort to maintain the status quo. We live the way we do because we do what we do to pay the mortgage. And buy stuff…lots of stuff…

     We fill up our time with the things that steal our life. We run on the reality grind. We do not want to acknowledge the actuality of our fleeting foray on the planet as living beings in a giant cosmos. We can acquire things, money, business, and personal success, but in the end, it all goes away. We cannot take anything with us but the essence of our existence.

     I have lost a lot. I have had and lost money, property, things and people. I do not want nor need pity. It happened; I moved on…I am still standing… I still make far more mistakes than I should. I have said it before, and I will say it again. Things do not matter. People do…

     Everyone operates from a different moral compass. We all make decisions that affect the others in our life, good, bad, and indifferent. I am going to impart the secret of life to you. You can skip to the end of this blog, just like some people jump to the end of a book or movie, which I think is a mortal sin. The secret may be there at the end, but it may be anywhere or everywhere in this blog. It is up to you what you do with this little tidbit. I am not the boss of you…

I really do not need to tell you because you already know what it is…

     Very few things are as liberating and life affirming as a proper vacation. A vacation should be fun and relaxing, not stressful and annoying… The proper amount of planning is requisite. Yes it is work, but it is a good kind of work…it can be less work…The problem usually lies in the number of people involved. As the number of people goes up so does the amount of possible relaxation stealing repercussions. Unless you can step back and relax, the work of going on vacation can be more stress than it is worth.

     The way to avoid this quandary is very simple. Limit the stress and go on vacation alone. The problem with this is that the people in your life are not always accepting of such a vacation. You really only have two choices. You can go with others or you can kill them…I would not recommend the latter as then the vacationing you will do will be in a Graybar hotel…a vacation such as this would seriously alter the fun and relaxing quotient…

     The best vacations involve finding enough things to satisfy all interested parties, without focusing too much on one person’s favorite activity. That can be difficult, but as long as you are not a bunch of control freaks the middle ground can be found.

     My favorite vacation of all time happened in 2002. I had just finished a very profitable stint in Winnetka, IL. I had some cash to spend and I wanted to spend it. So we (my wife, kids and I) ran off to find the sun.

     If there was stress to this meandering, it came in the form of the post 9/11 flying fiasco. My son, at the time was about 16 years old. I had long hair. He was young and clean cut. They asked him to go in the special line…I never understood this…if the two of us were in a lineup, the one that looked more sinister was definitely me…oh and that we almost were caught in Detroit because of a blizzard…

     My kids, wife, and I went to see the Mouse and then went on to the Florida Keys. Of the two *parts* of this vacation seeing the Mouse was the most fun. Except when it came time to eat. The Mouse really is not cheap for food. When it came time to eat, the best food was in the Keys.

     We did a lot of things, other than MouseWorld…and we ate a lot. If you ever get down to Key Largo, look up the Copper Kettle. Great food. Great Conch (pronounced konk) chowder. Unless you do not like sea food or hot spicy stuff. They had other fair as well and it was all good. There is a place called Lauralies (sp) that had al fresco dining on a deck over the water where you could check out the local fishery and aquatic life. It also had a great view of the sunset.

     This vacation happened before the boom of digital photography (read: camera phones), so the pictures I have are mostly in my mind. We did have a digital camera but the ancient technology was poor and the batteries died after about five pictures…we also have hours of mini VHS film, but who wants to watch it? There are hours of the scenery out the window of a rental car…However it is a good way to get rid of unwanted guests…simply pop in some family video and people can’t seem to find the door fast enough…Jus’ sayin’

     It was great because of the people. It does not matter if I spent 10 dollars or ten thousand. It was more than 10 dollars but who’s counting… I will never forget the good time we had. It cannot be replaced by money or things. It was not the stuff we saw, what we ate or did; it was the time we spent together. As a family. Away from the reality grind.

     Well, that and Chris singing along to his walkman…MMM- Bop…to this day I still chuckle when I hear that song…he did stop signing long enough to ask if we were going to stop and see the alligators in the Everglades. Unfortunately we were out of the everglades by that point…The ambivalence of the cars’ occupants made me by-pass the gators.

     Knowing me if you do at all, you will know that it was not all good times. I am sometimes not too much fun to be around. I do have a temper. I do let things get to me. I am a bit better now than I was back then but it is a work in progress… Whatever I forgot …. Probably not good things. I remember the good things. I hope my family does as well. But more than that I remember the people…

     Years ago, during the mildly famous days, on my second most favoritest vacation while I was in Key West I used to watch the sun rise and sunset on the same day a couple times a week… I even pulled an all-nighter to watch the sunset and the following morning’s sunrise. The reverse rarity of seeing those nuances of nature was something to behold.

     I have seen quite a few reverse sun rise and sets, but usually in a near drunken stupor, and only because I had to drive home, from the party that started before the sunset and ended just before the sun rose. I have to say that I do not miss those days…However, I digress…

     As I was saying, on the night in question I wrote”Busker’s Song” with my dog Busker. He contributed the action of the song, and helped with the chorus, but did not seem to have a grasp of playing the guitar…It may have something to do with his lack of opposable thumbs, but I have a feeling it may have been more to do with his puppiness…I don’t know…

     Along the road, I believe it was US Route 1, (the end of the road) but the actual street name escapes me... There is a spot, on Key West, before you hit Higgs Beach, but after you get to the now defunct House Boat Row, across from the Benihana Japanese restaurant, where there are numerous parking spots and a concrete seawall, or as I like to call it a concrete beach (from the song “Smilin’ Islands) I felt extremely lucky to find all of them open. I did not give it another thought. I pulled in to a spot, popped a couple Scooby Snacks, and set up for a long night jammin’ and writin’.

     So there we were, a cast-off dog and a long-haired often mistaken for a hippie, singer songwriter…Sitting on a concrete beach strummin’ the guitar, on the Smilin’…Smilin’…Smilin’ Islands… penning tunes that would become the album Prince Pauper, Hero, Fool… (You can still get the limited edition release…just ask me…)

     The local authorities eventually stopped by. It was way dark thirty. They wanted to make sure I was not sleeping in the public parking spot. They did not say too much when they saw I was awake, out side of the van and playing the guitar. They did say that I had to leave before too long, and would come by and check on me to insure I was not violating any laws, like sleeping in the parking space. Or being drunk in public…(Ron White just cracks me up)

     The man is always trying to bring you down. Heaven forbid that I actually hang out along the beach, writing music and listening to the surf gently washing against the concrete seawall. What they probably thought I was using the van as cover to sell all kinds of illegal drugs and such.

     Busker and I had started out the night at Mallory Square and saw the sunset…We ended the night in front of Houseboat Row, talking quietly about how much fun we had had, how great the album was gonna be and starring out the window at the most glorious sunrise that I have ever seen. At least that is the memory that I have now. In this vacation the people were less important than the vacation, as it was the culmination of a dream…I went alone…just me and the dog. Livin’ in a van, playin’ on the street.

     I met several great people on the road. They are only in my memory now. The names and faces escape me. The things we did do not. The days at the Sippin’ Coffee House, the IHOP, playing on Duvall...And they are living there in a group of mental pictures that can never be developed but hopefully will never be erased.

     I hope the reality is even half as good as the memory... It does not really matter, as our memories are just a valid as the actuality. Unless you are involved in the legal system, then the syntax of your memory is much more important than the actual events.

     Sunrise sunset…It seems strange to me that no one applauds the sunrise, but there was always a crowd clapping at sunset. Personally, I gotta say that the sun rise is much more spectacular probably because it gets less attention…I like it because it signals a new day. A new beginning. A fresh start. Anything is possible…

     There is something spectacular about the stars as well. Again, like the sunrise, the stars get no applause. Getting away from the light pollution of the city makes this light show even more pronounced. If you are lucky, you may even see a meteor shower. Unfortunately, this celestial spectacularity is also not greeted with any applause.

     Away from the erratic and ferocious ebb and flow of the bright lights and big city, there is a different kind of natural vibe. The sights and sounds, while having some similarity, are new and different sensory stimulations. The bugs and animals seem to be more in control of the surroundings, and I can live with that, However, a thunderstorm is pretty much the same anywhere you wander.

     In Key West in 1998, a particularly potent winter storm ravaged the Island. I called this the Storm of 98. To the locals it was not too bad. To me, on an island that is 14 feet above sea level, it was quite disturbing. They say the tidal surge was 12 feet…I was in Friday’s drinking a beer…the locals acted like uh, whatever…the tourists acted like it was Armageddon…I was a bit unnerved.

Amazingly the power was back on in less than five hours. I have seen storms that were no where near as severe in Michigan knock power out for days...

     I am currently on the third bestest vacation f-ing EVER… I went alone or more correctly, without my family. I DID NOT kill them and I do miss them. However, I am having a great time. Largely because I do not have to do anything, I do not want to do…And I am around a group of some of my favorite people…as I age I find that I enjoy people more. And I realize that life is far shorter than we know. I know they will not be here, nor will I, forever…

     I fish, I eat, I play cards, I drink, I talk a lot of shit, I do what I do, and sleep. What is not to like about that. I am living the lottery winner’s life that I would live if I happened to actually buy a ticket and actually win some Donald Trump Lotto type of cabbage…as a side bar I would also buy/build a hockey rink…and my family would be along as well…

     I would build them a separate cottage on a different lake…Kidding…I would build them a separate cottage on the OTHER side of the lake…KIDDING…they would sleep in the garage…SERIOUSLY? NO…BETTER YET I would sleep in the garage…

     I have responded to a work e-mail and even sent out a couple work e-mails, one about a voicemail, ‘cuz I forgot to change my message to reflect that I was *outta here*. Oh well, it did not change the fact that I took off to the great white north…minus the snow…it did get down in the forties at night…but it is perfect sleeping weather. The fishing has been MORE THAN passable and the weather has been fantastic. It is raining today (Wednesday) but whatever…

     We are livin’ lazy and eatin’ like royalty…I do not feel guilty about breakfast beer, and getting overserved. I even had a Canadian Mist and coke one morning for my pre-fishing meal…IT WAS 5:00 (am) along with coffee and Baileys…I wonder if I can get arrested for Drunken-fishing…Relax…if I got drunk on two drinks, what kind of lush would I be…A cheap one…Jus’ sayin’…

     It is amazing that I can get up to fish without as much trouble as when I get up to go to work, but then again, I do not feel like I have been working…the aches and pains are much less when you do not tax or overtax your body..

    The best thing about being away is the simplicity of the situation. Life is simple when there is no alarm clock, no time clock, and no time to arrive, or depart, then the whole world slows down to a pace that is much more palatable. That is until you need to get somewhere and the car is stuck. Then it becomes work.

     The secret to life is simple…and after I say this you will be kickin’ your ass for not thinking of it earlier than me…wait for it….wait for it…

Excuse me, I have to go fishing….

    Enjoy the little things and stop hoping and praying for the big things…You can work for them, but stop stressing out about keepin’ up with the rest of the world…relax. Everyday. For AT LEAST a little while. Enjoy LIFE…take a little vacation EVERYDAY…step away from the world and focus on something fun…whatever that is… And then when you get to go on a vacation, really relax. I mean RELAX. If you pack the vacation events like most people pack the luggage, you will come back thinking that you need a vacation…