Sunday 5 2 11 Snippets...the overlord award!

1700 age views last month...as lame as i was, i had more hits than any other month...looks like i will be even more disinterested in the blog next month and see what happens...


editors note: by now you may realize that i like to cuss. i drop the f-bomb. i will in this post, and gratuitously, i may add. i have invited my eviltwin to share in this post, a bit, leashed and tethered a bit but he is gonna have a bit of the spotlight...


also note: if i offend you, this is in fun...please take the tongue-in-cheek nature in which it is intended...or if you have to send me an email at askevilbruce@gmail.com to let me know how much you are disappointed...go head...if you must unfollow..that is also your prerogative.. but you will be sorry..very sorry...




I AM THE OVERLORD!

THANKS JEWELS!

yep! true dat!

me...moi...thebruce...brucie...bruce-y...Daddy...

an OVERLORD?

My EvilTwin? He may be an OVERLORD!

seriously?

The lovely Jewels, Flyers fan and all, whom will be doing a blogcrush blogswap with me soon...(I promise...) bestowed this wondrous award to me...

TRENDING NOoOoO!!!!TRENDING NOOO!!!!

1.      Nicolas Cage (next time he will listen to me, and not get so drunk)

2.      Tiger Woods (is a douchbag)

3.      Natalie Portman (hot)

4.      Kate Hudson (still very hot)

5.      Verizon (bites weenies)

6.      Hayden Panettiere (nudie pics here)

7.      Empire State Building (still cleaning off the sweat from King Kongs balls)

8.      Undercover Boss (yet another stupid show…glad it is being cancelled)

9.      Obama birth certificate (fucking give it a rest..the dumbald is fucking fool)

10.   Antidepressants (suck your will to die)

There of course are some rules, which I totally lifted from Jewels blog, cuz I can, being an OVERLORD! and all...

1. List three things you would change if you were Overlord (KING OF THE WORLD)
2. List ten blogs worthy of world domination (YEAH FUCK THAT! I'll give it to as many as I want)
3. Contact them about their bastard child…er, I mean award. *those were Chanel’s words or maybe the wording of the award-not really sure... (whoever's words they are damn fucking funny)

1. There will no longer be any coverage of frivolous ridstupidarity such as royals getting married.
No amount of pompous and circumstance is needed.

Ever!

I find any wedding booooriiing...however, I really LOVE the ACBF (After Ceremony Beer Fest)...The news coverage devoted to this kind of fucktardedness is right up there with the inability to pin the rap on OJ...

Paint drying, golf, and Nastycar racing are more fun to watch, and I absofuckinglutly hate those three things...

Instead we will watch home videos of my last vacation to the Florida Keys...

See what I mean? Boooooorrrrrring....

It is just about the same thing...Except my family is not royalty. They are a royal pain in the ass, so is that the same thing?

And we are allowed to cuss and flip the bird at other drivers while filming and driving...and you know what else? The everglades go on for.ev.er. and I filmed ev.er.y. min.ute of it...

For many of us, my home videos would be boring...

Okay.

I get that.

See what I mean? Boring is not good...

Which is prolly why I have yet to convert them from tape to dvd...

2. All people that want to produce offspring will have to pass a competency test. Seriously. No fuckinfucktards making more fucktards...

You must be able to hold your temper when the situation warrants it. And carry on  conversation like an adult. And not just punch things or slap things cuz you are pissed...

Like a child.

Children do not need to have children...They need to grow up... I AM the OVERLORD!  just in case you forgot!

You must be able to  remain sober and alert during working hours. Stop doing things that prevent you from getting a real job. Cuz YOU need to be able to support your demonspawn...

You must be able to type in complete sentences, not just OMG, UR and LOL.

Seriously.

And dial a phone. Not just hit redial or the persons avatar... Actually push the buttons.

If you are too stupid to know what makes babies, then you are too stupid to breed. You can buy condoms at every fucking gas station in the free world...We used to have to go thru the embarrassment of buying them at the local drugstore...Where so and so's mom fucking worked!

Sheesh!

If my dog has a better command of the language than you, well, no baby license.

Jus' Sayin'

3. Anyone caught wearing BitchDrawers, or that god-awful, no belt, expose panties, hanging pants thing-y will BE. SHOT. ON. SITE! No fucking exceptions! Period!

Need I say more?

I will be passing it on to:

Rafa

the Bushman

id

Mynx-y

the Empress

Pencil Girl

Oilfield Trash

fuck going for ten...i am so done with this...

Just AnOverlord's Day In Paradise

flashback friday 4 29 11

editors note: sorry i have been missing on commenting on your blogs and replying to comments and such, the 3d world has been beating me like a red-headed step child...i have been reading as much as i can, but well, you know... i will try to get back on my routine but...

and...

still got that lazy thing working in my MoJo as well...

TRENDING NOoOoO!!!!TRENDING NOOO!!!!

1.      Chelsy Davy (who cares)

2.      Lara Logan (not important)

3.      Cee-Lo Green (whatever)

4.      Tanya McDowell (booooo-riing)

5.      Two and a Half Men (recasting….me! as he who will not be named’s replacement…)

6.      Amy Poehler (hot in a funny goofy sort of way)

7.      Steven Tyler (has huge lips)

8.      Royal wedding (so over this…couldn’t care less)

9.      Kung Fu Fighting (everybody was…you know they were…at the fucking royal wedding)

10.  Mona Lisa (men have named you)

repost of a post that seems appropriate again...

whats that door do?
on your shirt...                     it opens and closes
funny if you haven't heard it all before
it is just
yet another door

Decissions     

Outside        

Ourselves      

Revealed      

doors DO open

and doors DO close

they keep you in
enclosed and safe

they keep you out

excluded, confused

they lock latched  at last

 they swing swiftly shut

they creep carelessly open

or carefree quickly close

not all doors
have windows...watching

and some

have blinds...unseen

 open a door

stand at the threshold

walk....thru the door...

unsure of what

  the other side

holds

there are doors

that slam

surprise

there are doors

that swing

reprise

sometimes

(we)

walk past a door

(we know)(we) should open

and walk thru
but (we) stand in fear

or

trepidation

uncertainty

or never

certainly

never knowing

what a door will hold

until you use it

standing in a room full of doors

i do not want to walk back thru

the door

from where i came

that door is closed to me now

swinging shut

with a thundering thud

i stand and stare

at all these doors

wondering where

they will take me

wondering where

i will go
knowing where

i have come

from

nowhere?

somewhere?
to
nowhere?
somewhere?

until i choose

which door

(is best)

to open 

what's that door (do?)
   for                      

me                
      now?         

Just Another Door? In Paradise













thirsty thursday

ManCave Thursday has been temporarily disabled.

TRENDING NOOOO!!TRENDING NOOO!!

1.      Pippa Middleton (COULDN’T care LESS)

2.      Lily Allen (cake eater)

3.      Oprah jury excuse (lame no matter what, sorry Mrs. Hyde, could not resist)

4.      Paris Hilton (waste of flesh)

5.      Jessica Alba (my latest stalker, but acceptable)

6.      NFL trade rumors (I am not being traded, contrary to popular belief)

7.      Honda (filing for bk?)

8.      Mutual funds (mutual = all of ours? Did not think so)

9.      Allergic asthma (sucks, cuz you can’t suck air)

10.   $5 gas (about time…gas has been too cheap for too long…oil companies are not making enough profits…gone are the days of 7 billion profit per quarter…blame that on cheap oil)

Great sorrow has befallen the clan of the ManCave...

ummm beer....

Where ever you are right now, drink a beer for me, as I will do for you!

Just Another Day In Beeradise!

tUcKeR2sDaY...4 26

TRENDING NOOOOOO!!!! TRENDING NOOO!!!!

1.      Ali Landry (hot? Preggers? Married? Break-up?)

2.      Vera Svechina (Google made her do it)

3.      The guy who will not be named dumped (go figure)

4.      Michael Douglas (dies of complications due to syphilis)

5.      Omega-3 fatty acids (I dropped fatty acids once…whoa. duuuude!)

6.      Emmylou Harris (sings a song)

7.      Haley Barbour (not running for president….thank god!)

8.      Smartphones (suck, and blow)

9.      World War Z (must have slept thru 3 and the entire alpha bet…what year is it?)

10.   Vilonia (thoughts and prayers)

A hearty and happy BIA welcome to the frisky virgin! stop by and give her some love and yell go MAVS!!!

i am tucker. i am a puppy. i have been busy.

busy busy busy!

playin and chewin!

finding neat smelly stuff, diggin' holes, and just general puppiness, as i plot-an-plan for world dogmanation!

you are getting very sleepy!
i have trance-y eyes!
you are under my command!
it's world dogmanation, youz guyz!

daddy is so lame!

we will play a game!

7 facts about me

I AM A PUPPY!

i am tucker. i wonded this award!

This award has rules.

1. link back to awarderer... done did that below!

2. tell 7 facts that people may not know about you...

3. pass this on to as many blogerers as you want to!

     (tucker!  it think the rule is 15, but...)

4. i will pass this one to and lickity lick three of youz guyz

Tucker lifted this text from my last post..

StepahnieC at seriously??? reeeally???...seriously totally funny and a dog lover so we click. she has some crazy shizz in her mind!

and

Pencil girl at conquering the world a girl that loves to write that keeps erasers busy...i actually have just started following her blog, thru a glitch in  the googgleboner system  but have rectified that grievous error...

1. i am a puppy.
2. i like to write blogs.
3. i have more puppiness than you do.
4. i will not ever grow up.
5. you will love me.
6. lickity lickity.
7. i am a good puppy.
8. i love bellyscratches
9. i love long walks on the beach
10. i love sniffing butts
11. i love being wiggiliy jiggily
12. i lickity lickity people
13. i am ascared of the bathroom
14. daddy, mommy, and mylibbean are my rescue humans
15. bonus! i lickity lickity you all!

editors note: there may have been more to this post, but mr squirel and mrs bunny were in the yaed, so tucker ran off to play with them...

Tucker told me to pass this on for him, to these people, and it is easier than arguing with him.

Lori at Little Scotia  a nice mix of all things and a dash of this and that!
Lyndylou at The Gigglefest Lyndy is  a great inspiration and one of my favs!
Bubbles at Bursts of Bubbles artsy and fun filled, check out her other blog at make my day...

it's 2sDaY, it's tUcKeR!

go check these ladies out!

see you next week.
i will be funny
cuz i am cute
and i am a puppy!

Sunday blogwhore snippet 424

i feel that i be needing to:
thank some people
that know some people that...
that blogloved some people...

TRENDING NOOOO!!!TRENDING NOOOOOO!!

1.      Jim Belushi (goes to blows…on broadway)

2.      Nicki Minaj (very stealthy)

3.      Kelly McGillis (gay..no, seriously…gay)

4.      Those who will not be mentioned (LL and CS)

5.      Netflix (going broke? Filing chapter 11)

6.      Heidi Montag (she can TAG me MON!)

7.      Boston Celtics (will win it all, next year you can bet on it)

8.      Background checks (I have nothing to hide..well except that one time…)

9.      Tsunami debris (scuks)

10.   MBAs (got mine on line and still can’t find a job)

some peoples gave me some blog lovin!
i have been a bit slow to represent...

content warning! there may be some psuedosexuality in this post....there are a lot of links in this blog post! if you are not in clicking mood, that is ok... just leave me a comment explaining why you did not click...the best comment will get:
a) a guest post by moi
b)a blog post dedicated to them
c) absolutely nothing as i am full of shit
d) some kind of odd rash
e)none of the above




screw! fuck! that!

i hate contests...

i finally have all the disks copied for my last contest..and what the fuck was i thinking?  I am ready to send them out but have been kinda lazy/broke...so those of you that won are gonna get your prezzies...just have to wait a bit longer...

on the plus side they are signed by me...

anyway..

i am an awardwhore, manwhore, blogwhore, attentionwhore...
whatever kinda whore relating to blogerering there is, i am...

most likely...

but in a totally sexual  platonic and brotherly way..

how about a warm BIA welcome to id at sometimes i like taffy...from my little stalking of her blog, I am sure you will like it! stop by say hi and leave a tasty comment...

Jenny at Pearson Report gave me this award!

she writes,
"This is long overdue and it’s time for me to 'pay it forward' and say thank you!
Let me start with The Boys…

I have affectionately dubbed them “The Three Amigos.”
Bruce at JADIP (and other great sites) Thanks Bruce for the Versatile Blogger Award!
Oilfield Trash at Make Daddy a Sammich and
Al Penwasser at Penwasser Place"

there are no rules! hells yeah!

so go check out Al and Oily...(You are already checking me out, in  a totally sexual and blog stalkerish way, and I love it, so go ahead, go check out AL and Oily...
it is really OK ladies to rub them down and undress them with your eyes..they will not mind)

StepahnieC at seriously??? reeeally???...seriously totally funny and a dog lover so we click. she has some crazy shizz in her mind!

and

Pencil girl at conquering the world a girl that loves to write that keeps erasers busy...i actually have just started following her blog, thru a glitch in  the googgleboner system  but have rectified that grievous error...

both gave me a versitle blogger award, but tUcKer will be doing that because he thinks he is all that and a slice of rye...sheesh blogdogblog....look forward to a special tUcKer2sDaY where he unveils the inner workings of a puppibolical mind bent on world dogmanaiton!


(or talks incessantly about Mr squirrel, the orange store, Mrs bunny, riding with daddy and, chewin' and playin'...)

also Jo Anne Mother and Nana... leaves a comment on every post, and that is sooooo awesome! and she love Bruce Willis Movies...like me! walk, run, or wander over and say hello...

And I have another person that is a personal fav,  the bushman . This guy rocks the post every time... go say hi to him and leave a comment... his blog is real!
BTW...he has labs, lives in MI and drinks beer...
what is not too like about that..

Jewels and I are gonna do a blogcrush blog swap on 2 of the finest teams in the NHL! Our two fine teams  are in the playoffs look for that soon...

Oh and if you may have forgotten about who I root for? here's a little crazy about my allegiance

Happy Thursday er, uh, I mean Sunday
happy easter..happy re-birthday Jesus! whatever...

Just Another HoliDay In Paradise